In this #1 New York Times bestseller, Ijeoma Oluo offers a revelatory examination of race in America
Protests against racial injustice and white supremacy have galvanized millions around the world. The stakes for transformative conversations about race could not be higher. Still, the task ahead seems daunting, and it’s hard to know where to start. How do you tell your boss her jokes are racist? Why did your sister-in-law hang up on you when you had questions about police reform? How do you explain white privilege to your white, privileged friend?
In
So You Want to Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo guides readers of all races through subjects ranging from police brutality and cultural appropriation to the model minority myth in an attempt to make the seemingly impossible possible: honest conversations about race, and about how racism infects every aspect of American life.
“Simply put: Ijeoma Oluo is a necessary voice and intellectual for these times, and any time, truth be told.
” ―Phoebe Robinson, New York Times bestselling author of You Can’t Touch My Hair
Krista –
I wish that everyone in the USA would read this book, although some of us need it more than others. So You Want to Talk About Race is that relevant, important and well-crafted. It’s written in a basic enough way that it can help clueless white people get up to speed, without centering whiteness, and with compassion for the reader. It’s also a book I can recommend to mixed-race discussion groups like book clubs, because the author does not write solely “to” white people. I already owned the hardcover and I bought this paperback version to keep at home and use for my own reference, while the hardcover is lent out to friends and family.
Daladyaphrodite –
Combating the inherently racist narrative we *all* have absorbed our entire lives (as white people) is quite challenging. How are we supposed to know which subconscious actions are actually hurtful? If you want to fight racism, speak truth to power, and raise your own children to be better human beings, read this book. Chew on it. Sit with the hard parts. Cry, take a deep breath, and read it again. We cannot help our people (and yes, fam, PIC are OUR PEOPLE) if we don’t start by listening. Some of the things in this book will be obvious. Some may provoke feelings of shock, defense, even shame. That is ok. We don’t choose where we are born and raised. We DO get to choose who we are. This insightful, loving, no-punches softened book is a practical place to start.
E. Furnal –
I picked this book when White Fragility was out of stock and think it was a great intro to the heavy topic of systemic racism. As a white woman in corporate America, it did a great job of introducing the many topics around racism – from school to jail pipeline, hair as property, police brutality, etc. The author’s approach of leading with a personal story and not over-sourcing facts made in an “easy read” on a tough subject. I have recommended it to colleagues that want to take a more active role in conversations and expect that I will go back to my highlights and notes many times.
Clare Holzman –
As a white person with a long-standing commitment to participating in the eradication of systems of oppression, I found this book invaluable. With all the reading I’ve done and all the workshops I’ve attended – and led – this book expanded my thinking. Oluo’s writing style is engaging and accessible. She begins each chapter with a story from her own experience, told with startling openness, unpretentiousness and humor. She demystifies topics such as privilege, intersectionality, microaggressions, cultural appropriation and more. She provides tips on how to start a conversation about race without turning off the person you’re talking to.She’s honest about the sad fact that it probably won’t go well and will feel uncomfortable. If you have never tried to talk about race, this book is a great how-to manual. If you’re not sure you even want to talk about race, this book may change your mind.
eleniel421 –
This is the book I’ve been wishing existed for years – a perfect read for those “white progressive but clueless about race” family and friends. It’s a more sophisticated analysis of race than Ta-Nehisi Coates’s “Between the World and Me”, but has that same literary, personal tone. Those with more knowledge of racial justice issues will find thoughtful commentary, models of “how to explain this stuff” to other white people, along with poignant autobiographical anecdotes and a series of useful citations/sources. Oluo’s delightful, clear, and uncompromising writing style takes academic and activist speak and makes it accessible to all. I would recommend this equally to a teenager and to my sixty year old mother.
JB85 –
This book is a must read for everyone. It helps in the discussion of race and racism. At times it can be hard to read about racism and accept that there are parts of yourself that are racist. But if we aren’t comfortable with being uncomfortable, then nothing is going to change. This book explores topics that I don’t think about because of my white privilege and it made me think about and understand the struggle that people of color face on a daily basis.
GP in NYC –
As a white man, i sometimes don’t know how to talk about race, or even what things i should be considering when thinking about race. Oluo does a fabulous job breaking down issues from mundane day to day microaggressions to major historical events that effect our non-white neighbors, family members, and friends. She has an incredibly accessible voice, putting me at ease and allowing me a safe place to explore my own shortcomings, and also to grow and better understand the world around me and the culture that privelege has built. This book has ease some of the fears i have had about being an outspoken ally – she is giving us the tools to be better and create a stronger support system to help accept our non-white friends and better serve their needs.i love this book. it has changed me and opened my eyes.
zombilex –
Bought this as a white person hoping to be challenged, and I was. The author does a great job sharing her experiences in a way that helps the reader understand exactly the types of things that happen to non-white people and how that makes a person feel. She manages to be assertive at times but also shows humility and acknowledges her own prejudices as she works on herself as well. This was a great book to pick up, let my guard down, and learn from.
Janice D –
This book is very straight forward about racism from someone who has experienced it. Most of us don’t really understand how we are a part of racism (we all are!), and this author tells us how to be part of the solution. She covers systemic racism, how it is truly a staple part of our society, and how we can recognize our part in equalizing the playing field for everyone.
H. Kennedy –
I love Oluo’s style. She leaves your unquestioned assumptions nowhere to hide. She writes about systemic beliefs and the need for systemic change. I say that it’s sad that this book is indispensable because I had thought, as a child during the Sixties, a college student during the Eighties and a professional during the Nineties, Aughts and Teens, that we would be beyond such deep-rooted racial divisions in America by now. But as Oluo points out, this stuff runs deep. In fact, it’s worse than you think, or fear. Racism is America’s Original Sin, and as the excellent work of Joy Buolamwini and her Algorithmic Justice League points out, racism and prejudice are literally being encoded into algorithms that shape decisions about what we’re approved for (a job, an insurance policy), whether we’re seen (by Facebook or other facial recognition software) or even what our punishments should be. We have to have a much broader involvement of race in all our conversations, and that means that white people like me need to cut right to the heart of issues and foster not just conversation, but meaningful systemic change. I’m so glad I heard Oluo on the radio speaking about this book, and even happier that I didn’t delay in buying it.
Kindle Customer –
Change and progress in America can be painfully slow for people of color and the marginalized segments of our culture. This book is brutally honest and transparent about institutional racism which was and is the original sin in our history. We can do better as a nation to root out white supremacy and institutional racism by addressing the problem with honesty and empathy. Reading this challenging book is a starting point.
B. Lynn Goodwin –
Are you a racist? Are you sure? It’s a tough subject, and while almost no one wants to be a racist, most white people have some racist habits they don’t even know about. In So You Want To Talk About Race, Ijeoma Oluo confronts behaviors and encourages readers to check their defensiveness and learn to listen. She makes the point that you never really know a person until you walk around in their shoes, which has been a universal truth since Atticus Finch said it in To Kill a Mockingbird.Bottom lines: We are products of our society and the way we were brought up. Assimilation does not take diversity into account. No one can take away your right to be angry. Everyone deserves a voice and fair treatment. One culture is not better than another. Your truth may not be someone elses.Oluo shares her world, her point of view, and her observations of the world. Depending on who you are and what you have experiences, her assertions could make you shudder or nod in agreement. Her words may make you angry, defensive, or grateful for the recognition.So You Want To Talk About Race is written by a black author who wants to wake white readers up. Right now many of us are ready to wake up and support other people and other cultures. This accessible guide to awareness challenges us to discuss our truths, face them, and take action.
Brandy N –
I read a good amount of books about race and history. My job not only requires me to understand the history and effects of racism, but also to empathize with my students of color who have had experiences I know nothing about. This book was recently recommended to me by several colleagues, and I’ve got to tell you – it is excellent. I mean really excellent. Like I said, I read about race a lot; and this is the most straight-forward, easy-to-understand resource I’ve come across. Do yourself a favor and pick it up.
ZtoZ –
Our church small group (HighRock Lexington) meets weekly to work through a chapter of a book a week. We recently chose to do this book given the current events.The writer is very knowledgeable about the subject (she lives it) and is a good writer. She succinctly brings her thoughts to the reader with appropriate real-life experiences. I now have the beginnings of understanding of systemic racism. I won’t ever be able to fully grasp the magnitude, in the same way that I cannot fully grasp what childbirth feels like.
Doc Wood –
I read it because I teach diverse classes (often minority white, although I am at a historically white institution) and I am always wanting to check my racism for unintended (ignorant) thoughts, words, and deeds in the classroom that could be harmful, hurtful. I wound up making changes to my syllabus to guide discussion. Teaching psychology requires frequent discussions of gender, class, and race and I had inadvertently been teaching in such a way as to keep it comfortable for me and other Caucasians. What I read here has made it possible to create a more inclusive environment.I had started out with a library copy but pretty quickly decided I wanted a copy of my own: I do recommend that you buy a hard copy for yourself, as you will want to highlight passages, make marginal notes, and refer back to it again and again.
La’Twiya Pitts –
It would be an understatement to say that Ijeoma Oluo does an incredibly amazing job confronting systemic racism in this powerful book. As a young Black woman aspiring to become an activist, this work inspired me to not be afraid to use my voice to speak on what I am most passion about – a better world for those impacted by White Supremacy. I love how Oluo eloquently yet firmly explains ways how everyone, including white people, are subjected to this oppressive system used to exploit and suppress the lives and voices of Black and Brown individuals. I highly recommend that EVERYONE should read this book!!!
Saba –
Well written, quick read on the major aspects of understanding race, racism, privilege, intersectionality, and the ways in which systemic oppression shapes the experiences of people of color. Even if you think you know a lot about the history of race in this country and have experienced racism and systemic oppression yourself, the author spells out ways in which to discuss these topics when it might not be so receptive, in addition to offering ways in which each of us can work to dismantle white supremacy piece by piece.
Friendly MidwesternerFriendly Midwesterner –
I was expecting perhaps a simpler, less robust book, and am glad it is richer in content than imagined. The author has a gift for clear expression that teaches concepts in a clear manner. I am so glad that she shares some personal reflections as examples because it makes it easier to relate to on a human level. This book is ideal for white people who are feeling like they are not overtly racist but want to understand more about ways in which they have benefitted from structures and practices in our society that made it easier for them, even if they did not realize this. The first step to any change (personal or societal) is recognition of the existence of an issue. Then learning more about it, Then action. This book will help you to jump from the first into the second step.I purposely bought the paperback instead of the Kindle version so that I can share this easily within my family. It is very important reading and worth your time and money.
booklover –
Well-written book packed with valuable information.
Alex Villepique –
It is a very thought-provoking book. What I found really horrific is the experience the author describes. See, as a civilian, I survived the war and went through a very, very similar experience during those 5 war years. I dread the thought that someone has to endure such horror for their entire life.I am also grateful to the author that she listed at the end of the book what actions we can take. The whole problem seems enormous and overwhelming, but knowing that there is something we can do is giving me hope. I know that little I can do will help ease someone’s misery.
Anna –
Oluo writes So You Want to Talk About Race in the same accessibly conversational tone that she uses in her social media, so I’d initially thought it would be a pretty quick read. It came as a shock the first few times I had to set down the book for a day so that I could think through everything she had laid on me in the chapter I’d just read.She doesn’t shy away from how very large and insidious racism is, entwined in just about every part of our society. Her book gives an introduction to thinking about racism from a number of different angles: personal, professional, societal, economic, linguistic, and more, and I’m not going to lie, it is daunting. She balances it, though, with periodic pep talks for her black readers that they deserve to be comfortable in their spaces, whether that means speaking out against racism or maintaining personal boundaries, and to her white readers that even just learning and reading are important, and that small incremental changes lead to major societal shifts.
Lauren Roberts –
I think it does a great job of explaining many different concepts and aspects of racism.I highly recommend it and think everyone should read it to understand the broad and systemic issues that exist within our country. Oluo really explains how to try and have an open dialogue with others about these issues so we can try and change the deep rooted problems.
Coco Rogers –
As a white woman, I found this book to be eye-opening in so many ways. It’s not about hating white people, it’s about understanding how our society is set up to benefit white people automatically. It’s about sitting with our discomfort at benefiting from racist systems even if we didn’t understand they were there. It’s taking a hard look at every aspect of our privilege, our interactions, our beliefs. Unless we understand racism and confront it as individuals, we can’t hope to dismantle it. An excellent resource.
Caze –
I was very excited to read this important book. However, this is currently unavailable through kindle unlimited or prime reading. Give Amazon’s recent statement on BLM I had hoped titles like these would have been more accessible. When brought to the attention of customer service, I was told Amazon has not paid for the license of this book to be available. A tangible step Amazon can take to show BLM is to pay more black authors, ensuring these important works are more accessible on Amazon’s larger digital book platforms of Kindle unlimited and prime reading.
Rebecca Rountree –
This book is probably the most informative work on current racial issues. The author gets right into the nitty gritty, explaining and detailing things that had never occurred to me.
Emily –
‘ve been a fan of Ijeoma Oluo’s writing for several years, having followed her around on social media, as well as been a contributing member of The Establishment for a while. When I heard she was writing a book about race I was…well thrilled probably isn’t the right word.SO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT RACE was so many things for a mixed person like me, who benefits from an overwhelming amount of privilege. Going into it already with an appreciation for Ms. Oluo’s writing, I expected to be challenged, to maybe even be a little defensive, to want to put down the highlighter and pen occasionally so I could pick up the band-aids for my emotional ouchies. Which I did.What I DIDN’T expect was to see myself in the pages from another side. But something so wonderful about both Ijeoma’s writing in general, and SO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT RACE specifically, is its accessibility; so often as a mixed person with one white parent and a parent who is both Filipino and Italian I’ve felt like when it comes to race there’s just nowhere where I belong. I look white to most people and know I have white privilege so for most of my life that was how I identified. Indeed, during the majority of my time reading Ms. Oluo’s book I was either learning (for example, while I “knew” that many police organizations had historical ties to racist origins, I did not know the extent, or the depth of where they grew from.I also spent much of the book feeling horrified and/or angry at the way Ijeoma was treated by friends, colleagues, even her family. These feelings of horror at acts of blatant racism or mere ignorance come from a place of privilege, I know. Despite the fact I nodded along to many sections (I ALSO HAVE A DEGREE IN POLITICAL SCIENCE!!) including the chapters about the white washing and sexism in the tech industry, where I work. I knew that I couldn’t understand what it was like to be affected by these kinds of marginalizations.That is until I got to the chapter about the model minority myth – which I was intimately familiar with, my grandfather having served white Americans his entire life – and I almost cried. The stories he told me about what he had to do to leave the Philippines and become a citizen, the way the Navy, who he’s so proud to have served in, treated him, all came to my mind. Race is complicated, as this book makes clear.Ultimately though this book wasn’t about me. SO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT RACE was written TO me, and everyone else reading it. And while I won’t “spoil” the ending, I’ll say that by the conclusion, when I got to the last chapter and the question within, I didn’t have to hesitate even for a moment with my answer.I have a feeling that the more time readers spend with Ms. Oluo’s writing – if they truly seek to absorb it – they won’t have to either.
Thomas Gregorios –
I am white, with a background in anthropology… and I even worked for the predominantly African-America District of Columbia government for 3.5 years… as well as living there. This book clarified many things for me, and explained critical things that I totally missed. It also gave some real clarity how to handle certain social situations with more grace. It will also help me to explain some basic things about Black people to fellow white people.I agree with the author that racial injustice is baked in to America’s society and economy. It’s time for change.Understanding Black people’s experiences and perspectives, and being able to quickly spot systemic racism, will go along way as a first step for white people in America, to begin to treat Black people as fully human equals, after four centuries of not doing that. And beginning righting the wrongs, making for a stronger, healthier, better country.If other white reviewers take offense, that is 100% their problem. The author does not intend to put white people on the defensive or engage in blame or claim victimization. She speaks from personal experience, with a keen mind, and presents her case with more reason than emotion. The book is very engaging easy reading.A very valuable book for white people in getting oriented in a sensitive area and being better allies for long overdue racial justice.
EEB –
This could also be called something like, “What I as a white person always wanted to know but didn’t want to burden a black friend by asking…” It’s excellent. Using Helm’s White Identity Model I think it can be used to reach people at several different stages. While I’ve done a lot of personal and professional anti-racist work, I have lots more that needs to be done. Part of my purpose in buying this book was also to help me facilitate some conversations we will be having in our school building when school reopens. The book is nuanced in that it speaks to some of the 101 level folks as well as some folks who have done some extensive work in this field. Also, the author also writes other essays and important pieces as well – about race, parenting, etc. She’s an author who is highly intelligent, well-researched, and interesting and even at times fun/funny to read.
dumb45238 –
I came to this book so I could talk with Blacks about their plight and gain their respect. Now I don’t need to. Ijeoma Oluo taught me enough, through examples, about my white privilege, about police disrespect and brutality, and about the extremes of Black Mass Incarceration that I became an angry anti-racist. I’ve since joined the Bishop’s Task Force to “STOP Racism, Excessive Violence, and Silence.” If you are an armchair inactivist that knows the USA has a race problem, read this book.
Bookarts –
I initially checked out the audiobook from the library, but after listening to it, I decided I needed to buy my own hard copy so I can refer back to it. Oluo made me look at many things in a new way. And even with concepts with which I was already familiar, she has such a great way of explaining things that it made me feel better equipped to discuss race issues. I also liked she explained things in a broad way, then brought in lots of personal stories from her own life, as well as those of friends and family.I highly recommend the audiobook as well. The narrator really was fantastic.
Wesley Jackson –
This book was good for my life at this moment. Ijeoma touches on so many identical quandaries I’ve had myself and reaffirms that change begins with action we take. I highly praise this book as a black man that never wanted to “rock the boat” with hard, usually frustrating discussions on race, it has given me a better toolbox to to better prepare myself and others to be mediators of this topic.
Carolyn Clauss –
Good insight about the reality of everyday life for a person of color. Hard to read at times yet very important work. Helps me to be more sensitive and understanding of others and determined to work at not being racist.
Lunita –
This book was an eye opener! It literally breaks down very common scenarios of situations where we often overlook our behavior. It dives deep into explaining how racism is embedded in our society and breaks up within all groups based on levels of privilege. I mean, I could go on and on about it, but it is a super informative easy to read text for most ages. I would recommend for 14+ due to the nature of some language involved. I regret not having purchased as a hardcover.
Kindle Customer –
Exceptional book on racism in the U.S and how our culture continues to perpetuate structural racism in our society and the harm this causes people of color and other racial minorities. The author has cited relevant research throughout the book supporting the ways in which racism is interwoven throughout our society. Topics of discussion include how white supremecy is a dominant feature of our institutions, how privilege maintains and upholds racism, how to have productive conversations about racism and ways to take action against the continued oppression of disenfranchised members in our society.
Alyssa Goth –
I love how upfront the author is about her experiece with racism in this book. She writes it clearly and concisely. Her book is a great way to better your empathy with racism and others who experience that daily. Or her book could be a sign saying you are not alone!
Megan Elizabeth –
BUY THIS BOOK. NOW. This book is such an excellent way to understand what it’s life for Ijeoma Oluo to live as a black woman in today’s society. She kindly takes your hand and walks you through why issues like police brutality matter, and how our privileges can effect all of us in being blind to fully understanding other peoples stories. It breaks down to you ways to talk to people about race, and how important it is for White People to understand what it’s like for members of society who do not benefit from white privilege, and what we can do to help level the playing field.
Brianna Brown –
It seems the author wrote this book with the understanding that people were going to get triggered and stop reading at a certain point. It starts off straightforward and somewhat like a job training type approach. Slowly, over the course of the book, the author shares more personal details, more of her passion and heart and longing for a better world. She shares the why behind her book from the beginning, making it clear that the lives of non white people are at stake. She saves the heaviest hitting chapter for almost the end, hoping anyone who made it that far might consider what she has to say, despite the difficulty in hearing it. Finally, a call to action in any way we can safely manage, with many suggestions as to how to go about that.There were some parts of the book I didn’t agree with. For me, this did not detract from the importance of the overall message. I care about this issue and I’m willing to set aside some disagreements to work together for positive change. The author believes this change is possible and cites evidence. Her solution does not involve violence, or a major overall of government. Her solutions are extremely doable. Piece by piece, one step at a time. I’m grateful for this book and the impact it had on me, and all the things I learned.
Becki –
This book is a great crash course on social justice issues. It is particularly useful for white/cisgendered/hetero/able-bodied audiences – and others who have been shielded from discrimination and oppression as a result of their privileges. Oluo does a wonderful job introducing fundamental vocabulary and concepts alongside personal anecdotal evidence. This strategy links language and theory from abstract ideas to meaningful experiences that allow for readers to connect with her, BIPOC, and other marginalized folks.This book is an easy read (maybe not emotionally, but otherwise it is not difficult) and covers a lot of ground in just a few hundred pages. I highly recommend it – especially to anyone who is finding it difficult to understand what the BLM and other social justice movements are all about.
Mac McEneaney –
Great book & wasn’t damaged in shipping, so 10/10!
Ambre Nulph –
This book is a great primer for delving into conversations about race with anyone. It’s not the first book I’ve read like this, but it is one of the better ones. Not only does Ms Oluo provide information explaining the issues, but she also provides many opportunities to put your new-found knowledge into practice. This ranges from things you can say and do, and things you shouldn’t, to a handy discussion guide for your book clubs at the end. The chapters are laid out thoughtfully and cover a lot of info without being too dry or preachy. Many of her personal anecdotes broke my heart and/or made me enraged. We white folks need to be having these discussions with other white folks so that Black folks don’t have to keep dealing with white supremacist BS.
Joshua Gillard –
Before reading this, I was not nearly as aware of the devastating effects that systemic racism in America has upon people of color. Very useful terms like intersectionality and model minority myth and cultural appropriation make it very easy to grasp some of the large concepts presented here. I am very grateful to have been given such insight as I imagine this may have been emotionally difficult to write. Ijeoma Olua lays it all out for us so listen up white people! We need to make some changes and if you are not on the minority side than you are oppressing others even if accidentally. It is time we start respecting the experience of colored people and using some damn empathy to try and understand what it is like on the other side.
Judith Konopaski –
What do I mean by easy? I mean a “white guy” can comprehend and wrap your mind around these suggestions.And it is a quick uncomplicated approach to beginning a conversation. I have read some, but certainly not all of the plethora of books currently flooding the market on this subject. If you want a “quickstart” instead of a lengthy philosophical dearth, this is the book that will get you started. Can’t say enough about this, except I will definitely be following this author for more advise and support.
Erica –
I can’t recommend this book enough and I can’t stop reading it. And, I mean re-reading it. I listened to it on audible first driving long distance. Upon arriving, I just sad idling because I wanted to keep listening. So, I ordered a hard copy because I desperately wanted to remember things and underline. The country — world really — is going through a very divisive period. We need to work on healing past wounds and correct systemic discrimination to move forward. This book provides tools and guidance for having difficult conversations.
Sarah –
Incredible. Absolutely incredible. I learned SO much. I genuinely do not have words adequate to express how amazing this book is. Put down your boxing gloves and READ THIS. This book will make you uncomfortable in the best way possible, it will answer your race-related questions, it will inspire you to be a better advocate for change, and it will help you be a better ally. I’m not kidding when I say that this book will change your life. Come at it with an open mind and a willingness to change, and be prepared to walk away with vital tools to make real change and a whole new perspective on important issues. I genuinely cannot recommend this book enough!
SueG –
Our SVP of HR recommended this as a read for me. We are beginning a D&I committee at work. My last read was “White Fragality”. He said read this and I am so grateful for his investment in me. This is a must read. I thought I was a good supporter but my eyes and ears are now opened much wider. Listen twice as much as you speak. Be empathetic and it is not about me. If you are comfortable with doing so, share your story. I will continue to fight for the dismantling of systemic racism. I will get things wrong and will stay focused on getting it right.
ETG –
I’m a white woman. This book should be required high school reading. Oluo provides needed advice for white people on how to talk to other white people and to people of color about race. First, she explains the problem of racism from a mega perspective as opposed to a micro one. In other words, racism is inherent in society and culture, it’s not just a problem between two people. She writes in a very down-to-earth style for everyone to understand and provides examples. Race needs to be something we talk about, not hide from. Until we talk about it, racism isn’t going away. Since as white people, we have the privilege, we also have the power. It’s kind of like Spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility. But until we recognize that white men have the power systemically, we can’t change anything. First comes the acknowledgment, then the discussions, then the change. Oluo deals with gender discrimination and sexual identity discrimination, too. (She’s a lesbian.) Having the words for the discussions, and knowing what’s off limits as subject matter, has made me feel more confident in my discussions about race. I have so many questions. How do I ask them without offending? Oluo helps. Make the world a better place. Read this book. Get an extra copy and give it to one of your open-minded friends who thinks they are not racist. Tell them to pass it forward.
Rainbow Tiger –
The author brings up points I never would have considered, as a Caucasian older woman, raised liberally, but certainly not aware, by any means, of what people of color go through. Recent headlines have continued to shock me as to the extent of the deep seated biases, bigotry, and out and out hatred that is so rampant, yet subtle in many ways, in the US society. I’m horrified, deeply saddened, and doing all I can to become more aware.This book, along with a few others, is an excellent tool to give me a start. I highly recommend it.
E.S. Ruete –
When I started out as a lay preacher, the best advice I got was preach, don’t teach. The pulpit is not the place for education, it is the place for exhortation to talk, think, and act differently.I say this because I want to talk about how Oluo is an indispensable follow up to Kendi. While “Stamped from the Beginning” does it’s own motivating, it does so by education. It teaches us the what, when, and where of racism in such excruciating detail that it tears down simplistic views of the American racial narrative and replaces them with an “appreciation” of how vast and entrenched are the institutions of racism. “So you Want to Talk About Race” preaches the need to talk, think, and act differently about racism.
Vanessa M. –
I’m still reading this book, but my initial impression is that it’s exactly what I need right now; a direct, unflinching guide to help examine privilege and have these hard conversations without completely blowing it. Full disclosure: I am a well-meaning white woman who woke up after the 2016 election thinking WTF just happened?? I want to do better for all of my community, and I know better than to expect POC to take the time and effort to educate me for free. Ijeoma is a great writer and storyteller, and I am happy to support her work. I hope everyone reads this book, and I hope she is able to stop educating us all and can move on to write great mystery novels some day.
Adriana Dufresne –
I found this book incredibly educational to issues of racism, what I can do as a white privieged person to help minorities, even if it’s as small as writing local government, or calling and researching public and higher schooling to know graduation rates for minorites, hiring rates of diverse professors. These were just a few tips from the ending of the book. I highly recommend for everyone to take some time out and read it chapter by chapter.
Gwen Pasadena –
My friends and I chose this as our first book to read on race (we are white and want to be better allies). It is great! I have others but this one was easier to read (while the content isn’t easy) with chapters titled, What is racism? What if I talk about race wrong? Is police brutality really about race? Talking is great, but what else can I do?Remarkable thought-provoking and very helpful book.
jason greenberg –
Excellent book on the topic. Should be required reading
K. Orders –
This is an excellent and informative book that everyone should read. It is an easy read and very honest. The author’s mother is white but she is black and it adds to the dynamics of the information. The physical book is very bad…started falling apart after i read the prologue and the first chapter and have had to deal with chunks falling out every time i pick it up. i think the glue in the spine was bad but i wanted to read the book so didn’t take the time to return it. Don’t want that to affect the author as she did a great job and a great service to the public by her honest. straight-forward sharing with us.
Magnificent Stokes –
This is an amazing first book to start off with a person of another race. It helped me define feelings and emotions I carried but had difficulty putting into words. I appreciate the time, care, vulnerability that was expressed in these pages.
Kindle Customer –
I’m leaving this as a 5-star review as to not deter anyone from reading the book. In fact, I honestly think that EVERYONE should read this book. Ijeoma presents a real and refreshing look at the systemic racism that impacts the lives of so many people, yet remains mostly unseen in our white supremacist culture. She sheds light on appropriate ways to discuss race, as well as what we could all do to bring about justice in areas of our lives. I can’t wait to recommend this to everyone I know.However, my kindle version was extremely glitchy. Each chapter randomly had several blank pages and no matter what I did, nothing seemed to fix it. I understand that technology has many limitations but if you’re interested in reading this book I definitely recommend supporting a black-owned bookstore instead of throwing more money at Amazon.
Michael J. Metts –
Ijeomo Oluo is an incredible writer, and this book is so important. Many White people, myself included, have walked around for most of their lives without even a basic understanding of what it’s like to live as a Black person in our country. Oluo draws heavily on her lived experience to show readers that, and helps us see how we can and should do better. As someone who manages other people in a workplace, I’m grateful that Oluo has shared this perspective, because it will help me treat the people I work with better. It helps me see I have a role to play in creating equity for co-workers, teammates, and other people I interact with every day. It helps me understand when to speak up and when to shut up. When to step forward and when to step back. Highly recommended.
UrbanEssence Bath & Body products –
Another book that has been added to our home library. Ijeoma carefully explains race here in America. A well written explanation of what it is like to be a person of color in the United States when dealing racism.In each chapter she offers a full account of the racism people of color face almost on a daily basis and then suggests steps to have real conversations about how to address it..She describes in detail those small remarks and physical gestures of racism that’s invisible to othera but seen by very well by people of color all.
Kindle Customer –
In “So You Want to Talk About Race”, Oluo articulates our lives as we live them. I learned words that I could put to so many episodes in my own life where my hurt and rage felt soul destroying. It helps to see the systemic racism that we’ve accepted and internalized without words. It helps to be able to feel that there is an opening of minds that have been closed for centuries. It helps most of all to read, see and feel that there is a better way to live together and it is attainable.
Jenni P –
The writing is direct and focused with appropriate anecdotes and stories that focus the reader towards understanding of the challenges of being black. Every day, often unwittingly, those of us who are white cross inappropriate boundaries and create hurt and humiliation for our black sisters and brothers. This book aids our awareness of the current BLM movement and helps to insure that we develop sensitivity and care on many fronts.
Barbara Samuelson –
I am a white woman born and raised in Oakland, CA. I have been on a personal journey to open my own eyes as to what I missed growing up in the 60’s and 70’s. I went to an integrated school and numbered many blacks among my friends, but I had NO idea what it was really like for them. Nobody told us! This book reaches out and let’s me know what it was and IS still like. Thank you, thank you. I have read a few other books including D. L. Hughley’s book. This information further educates me. I need this information, and particularly when I am talking with Black people so that I can more than sympathize; I can empathize. Thank you!
Gary Moreau, Author –
What author would write a book with a target audience that is likely to consider reading it, much less paying for it, akin to wishing for a root canal? Apparently, Ijeoma Oluo.I am a white, sexagenarian, male, and former CEO. I am, therefore, a r#cist. (And yes, I am being sensitive to the censors who will look at this before posting it.) And I accept that because this isn’t about me. My personal tolerance is irrelevant. If a picture says a thousand words, an action is worth ten thousand pictures. That is how we should judge each other.From my very privileged position in America, I have had a bird’s eye view of the systemic, institutional privilege (which in the negative is discrimination) that currently defines virtually all Western institutions today, including virtually all corporations.Women have not shattered the corporate glass ceiling because the corporate institution was designed and built by men. Blacks have not achieved equity in the economic arena because it was designed by white men. Which is why, as Ijeoma points out, it really doesn’t matter if the man in charge is a racist or a misogynist or not.The #MeToo and Black Lives Matter movements are all about gender and racial discrimination. What has enabled misogyny and racism, however, is the definition and allocation of power in our institutions and our society. Tolerance is great, but it’s nowhere near enough. Until we challenge the structure of power, we will not address the underlying cause of social and economic injustice.Here are the main takeaways I got from this book:- It’s not about me or Ijeoma. This is about structural injustice.- It’s not about the tone of the discussion. This is about structural injustice.- It’s not about intent. This is about structural injustice.- It’s not about who is right and who is wrong. This is about structural injustice.- It’s not about who can use what words. This is about structural injustice.In the end, the great strength and the great weakness of our political economy is our over-riding emphasis on the individual and his or her opportunities and rights. There’s nothing wrong with that per se. But in this crowded, technologically enabled world we live in, it’s not enough. We can live individually but we can only be judged collectively. Our insistence that every conversation be about me, or you, or Ijeoma, or that person over there, is blinding us to the degree that we really are all in this together.Scientists used to view the environment as a collection of independent and discrete parts. There was a prairie here, an Arctic ice field there, and a rain forest someplace a long way away. They now realize, however, that there is only one ecosystem and what happens in the rain forest is just as important as what happens in the Iowa corn field.Other scientists have discovered the same thing about the other hard and soft sciences. Biology and economics don’t cut it any more. We have to think in terms of evolutionary biology and behavioral economy. Real understanding lies not just within a functional discipline, but also in the spaces that separates them and the overlaps that interconnect them.So, I go back to my original question. Why did Ijeoma write this book? I won’t pretend to know the answer but it is clear that she has a genuine desire to see us face the issue. And after reading this book it is clear that the desire is genuine. And while it is theoretically true that if she is successful she will have to find something new to write about, so what? That is exactly the kind of binary, digital thinking that is at the heart of the problem. Life is not either/or. It is, with tolerance, and/but.Ijeoma has a perspective. And the tone is sometimes a bit harsh. But how could it not be? In the end I think the most amazing and laudable thing about her language is that she obviously worked so hard to keep a lid on her passion. If she were white, we would elect her to high office.Am I appropriating Ijeoma’s book by writing this review? Yes. But that’s irrelevant. I am not her. And my appropriation is going to paint racism with a white brush and, potentially, demean that pain. But that is the thinking of a binary thinker—either/or. And that, in the end, is what we have to overcome. Tolerant people are not binary thinkers. Tolerance is not a function of embracing the other side of the binary issue. It is about eliminating the binary divide. Ultimately, the racism talked about here is about institutional models of power that disadvantage one group over another. (And, as Ijeoma points out, there are many.)In the end, I won’t say this was the most pleasant read. It was, however, a good read. It made me think. And for that I am grateful to the author. I won’t say, “well done,” because that would be an appropriation, as if I could evaluate how well she had represented her pain. I can’t. It’s hers, not mine. I will say, however, that “I listened.” And I listened because you were clear and authentic. And I do thank you for that.A must read. Period.
Cheryl Lanham –
This book is a must read, especially in our current climate. Some parts of it may make you uncomfortable as it makes you think about what beliefs you have absorbed from our society over the years. It is written in a conversational tone. Rather than being judgmental, it feels more like a friend who is trying to get you think about your values and beliefs and what led you to them.
Dar –
Insightful, wise, thought-provoking! This book is an important contribution to the discussion of race
R. R. McCray –
This book is a great place to start in a journey toward understanding racism. I am speaking as white person who has been learning about racism for a few years now. I had some familiarity with the issues the book addresses but also found this book to be very educational. It illuminates many core issues such as microaggressions, the school-to-prison pipeline, addressing racism as a system and not just individual acts of hate, police brutality, the use of the “N” word, and more in a way that is accessible, moving, and clear. Oluo expertly balances personal stories with facts and statistics, and in doing so she paints a clear and detailed picture of the harm and scope of racism, all while giving advice throughout on how to address it.This book was written for a wide range of people; for example, it has sections addressing white people in particular as well as sections written for Black people. The book is both sensitive and truthful; how the author takes the time to explain these important and difficult issues, how she includes painful personal stories, painstakingly shares statistics that prove systemic racism, and provides critique for the common missteps that white people make is truly an act of care. I hope many people will support Oluo’s labor by purchasing this book and sharing it widely.
Demphna –
The book is informative, personal and in your face. Important to read and talk about. Ijeoma Oluto is an excellent author and raw in her descriptions. No need for pretence here. Thank God. We need more of this.
Janet Carver –
“It is natural to feel like focusing on your advantages invalidates your disadvantages and your struggles in life, but that is not what will happen. You can be both privileged in some areas of life, and underprivileged in others. Both can be true at once and impact your life at the same time.” – Ijeoma Oluo, pg 65-66 in ”So You Want To Talk About Race”Grateful for this book. I really appreciated Ijeoma Oluo’s helpful insight into actionable things I can do to help dismantle racism systems while also helping me see and address all the racist beliefs I have internalized.
Deb F –
Ijeoma Oluo has written a book about race so personal and expressive that we must take to heart the suggestions she has made about actions we can take to fight systemic racism. Her words flow with vibrant energy as she explains how and why we need to talk about race. She demands to be heard, and we should not only listen but act.
Amazon Customer –
Ijeoma’s conversational style makes this book an incredibly approachable read, even though the content is often challenging and uncomfortable. She weaves personal narrative and anecdote with hard facts and statistics in a way that facilitates learning and reflection. This is a must read for everyone looking to become more informed about racial injustice in the country, as well as those desiring to become more competent in conversations about race, systemic racism, and racial justice. It is phenomenal for a book club!
Jules F in MN –
Having always lived in a white world, it never even touched me how discriminatory we are to people of color – Blacks, Hispanics, Asian, Native American. With only two black people in our high school of 1900 students, the only semi-real context I had was from history books of the Civil War, and information on Civil Rights of the 60’s. This book was an eye-opener for me. Many real life examples of the author made me aware for the first time of situations I had never given a single thought to, much less a second thought. I appreciate books that make me think. And lead me into wanting more education on the subject.
J Rock –
Ms. Oluo combines rich personal experience and research with excellent and precise writing to create a book about why it’s so hard to talk about systemic racism and how that makes it even more important to do so. She gently but firmly reminds white people that our lack of experience of being a person of color does not give us the right to deny the validity of that experience. She also provides needed perspective on why “innocent” or well-intentioned actions can still be hurtful, exploitative, and/or supportive of the status quo. If you care about equality and justice and want to help dismantle the systems of oppression that harm people of color (as well as women, the disabled, and the LGBTQ community), please read this book, and then turn Ms. Oluo’s message into action.
Amazon Customer –
Excellent book with much food for thought. Oluo spends a lot of time and used a lot of different techniques to make it clear to white people that racism isn’t about us. It’s not about our supposed good intentions, it’s not about our comfort, and it’s not about whether or not WE feel badly about racism. She gives clear explanations about things like microaggressions and tone policing, both of which tend to involve white people trying to control the narrative.There are also lots of clearly defined actions white people can take it they truly want to work to change things.Bottom line….We as white people don’t get to say if something is racist, and we don’t get to try to explain it away when it’s pointed out to us. We need to shut up and listen, then work to dismantle the system that has oppressed for so long.
Tea Addicted Cat Lady –
This is such an important topic. If I could make this book required reading for every household in America right now, I would.I’ve seen Ijeoma speak a couple of times in Seattle and I’ve read her work for quite some time now, but this book was still not at all what I was expecting in the best way possible. She really makes one think, but she does so in a way that you can tell she’s practicing what she is preaching. While I recognize how much progress I’ve made through the years to deprogram myself from the fallout of growing up in a white supremacist society and recognize my privilege, I also realized during my reading how much more I need to improve. For instance, how can each of us find the intersectionality with our privileges, as she discusses in one of the chapters? Luckily, the author provides actionable recommendations as she calls out areas where she too needs improvement as well. This book answered so many questions I’ve been wondering, but was too afraid to ask because I don’t want to put that burden on my non white friends.My mind is reeling at all the information and ideas, but for now I’m going to take some time and really process what I just read. She takes a super heavy topic, makes it accessible, and does so in a personable way which allows the reader to relate in unexpected ways. If I could only recommend one book I’ve read within the past year to people, it would be this one.Nicely done, Ijeoma! I look forward to cheering you on in your inevitable continued success and reading more of your work.
Sidney –
Ms. Oluo has written a “how to” for those who need it most — people interested in checking their privilege so that others are not continually oppressed in this country. Hers is an unpopular view in some circles, since the advent of the one who shall not be named, but that should not stop others from doing all they can to understand the perspective of a woman who has experienced first-hand prejudice and systemic bias in action, and acting accordingly.
Kindle Customer –
The best way to read this book is to pause, reflect, take action . Just being aware and curious to notice when you make assumptions is a good beginning and should be a lifelong practice.I’m glad our UU church read it last year, we had meaningful discussions that I hope are resulting in action.The chapter on cultural appropriation was the weakest one for me; I duo recognize, however, that it’s something that as a society we area beginning to understand.
KHensley –
Are you working on yourself to check your white privilege? Taking action to dismantle structural white privilege and white supremecy? Reading articles, websites and books? Trying to piece together the issues with the language around white supremacy? This book is for you. Trying to explain to your loved ones why Racial Justice is so important to you? You need this book. It discusses so many racial justice topics and phrases clearly, authentically and with heart. Punches don’t appear to be pulled and I think that was necessary. I highly recommend this book. In fact, I hope you read it in your book club, buy one for your community Little Library, and make it the book you give for birthdays this year.Chapters important to me were: “What is intersectionality and why do I need it?”, “But what if I hate Al Sharpton?”, “How can I talk about affirmative action?” and “What is cultural appropriation?”Two chapters broke my heart: “Why can’t I touch your hair?” and “Why are our students so angry?”Two favorite lines: “Nothing lets you know you are going to die alone like when you try to find a seat in a school cafeteria…””To refuse to listen to someone’s cries for justice and equality until the request comes in a language you feel is comfortable with is a way of asserting your dominence over them in a situation.”You may have seen blog posts about paying Black Women for their work – for taking time to educate us. This needed education is a Black Friday, Cyber Monday and Small Business Saturday bargain rolled into one at thrice the price!
shiawase –
Everything I hoped it would be and more, easy to understand chock full of numbered points of advice on various topics, personal anecdotes that connect to the larger picture and the inspiration to have these conversations and also take action.If you’ve read and loved and learned from Ijeoma Oluo’s words online or in social media, you’ll recognize her same understanding of the complexity of these conversations (especially those that white people should be having with one another) and also her passion for social justice.If you’re not familiar with her incredibly important work, and you’re willing to listen openly about racism from someone with much lived experience woven beautifully into a larger picture where we can all have an impact – positive, if we choose – I’d highly recommend this book.This book covers many of the basics as a reminder so some but also encourages deeper reflection within ourselves. There are parts that feel necessarily squirmy, but it’s clear that she remains focused entirely on helping us all have better conversations about race and take better actions to change a system that isn’t fair.If you’re not sure that’s the case about our system that still oppresses people but are open to listen, this book is a great place to do that, quietly away from some internet fight and with time to pause and consider.Please read this.
Olivia –
One of the best books I’ve ever read. This completely changed my perspective on things and I was able to use things I learned here to help teach my office/company. Real life examples with explanations and action items.
Anita OjedaAnita Ojeda –
I first listened to the book on Audible (stellar performance by the narrator). And I wanted to read it and reference it over and over again, so I bought a hard copy. This book will not make you feel comfortable–especially if you’re a white person who feels as if she’s not racist. I learned there’s an important difference between feeling I’m not facist to actually being antiracist.Even if you think you’re not racist, this book is for you.
Julia –
I finished the book and immediately flipped right back to page 1. Ijeoma Oluo writes in a way that speaks directly to any reader.. including those that are new to conversations about race and those that feel they could write a book themselves. Everything she has to say is so important. Where personal experiences meet facts.. meets humanization, meets brilliance, meets simplicity and….. idk really there is just no argument to be had!! 10/10
Amazon Customer –
Thank you Ms. Oluo for this book! I need to learn how to talk about race. This book is teaching me.I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything because it’s new to me but there are examples of scenarios and moments when the author asks to evaluate what you’re feeling as you read and suggestions of what to say in certain situations. Its SO helpful.I’ve never knew how to address racism as a white person amongst white people, and this is a great start to my education. I’m so thankful that the author took the time to write it out for us; I always felt like I was unable to help or even to understand, but this is a great resource.So, if you want to talk about race and don’t know where to start, get this book and we can learn together. Maybe we can make the world a better place.
Suncica Vilic –
Adding this to the “everybody must read” list of books. It has definitely caused me to think introspectively but more importantly, to act on these feelings and thoughts. Oluo’s son’s quote about the pledge of allegiance will sit with me forever.
B3K1nd –
So so good! It means taking time to see life from another’s view point and really helps one reflect on what we can do to change things around us to be better for the marginalized. I couldn’t put it down and will probably read it again next year. Perspective that has been missing my whole life. My biggest take away. It’s not enough for everyone to just act nice to each other, it’s about changing systems of oppression because you really care enough to want to make things better. I am privileged because I am white.
T. Gerald –
I cannot think of a better, kinder, more important use of three hours of any white person’s time than to read this book and begin to understand, begin to do the work of dismantling institutionalized racism in America. If you don’t know where to start, this is where. Start here. And then get to work. Racism is a problem created by white people and can only be truly solved by white people getting involved to help Black America and all of the dehumanized, marginalized people that racism and other forms of prejudice and discrimination hurts and kills. This is our responsibility that comes with our privilege. And this is the instruction manual on what to say, what not to say, and how to be a part of the change that is coming.
Kindle Customer –
Oluo does a great job capturing the depth of racial challenges in the 21st century. She makes the topic of race very accessible to anyone with an open ear and heart, but by no means coddles the reader through toigh topics.This was part of a larger class on Race and Ethnicities that I’m taking and it’s one of my favorite texts we’re reading. Listening to it was nice so I could get my reading in while doing errands and somehow having someone read to you is still soothing as a full grown adult…
M. Daly –
As a white person, I set out to read this book and prepare for a discussion of how to talk about race. I expected to be challenged by the writing. However, I didn’t expect to see myself in so many of the situations as an oppressor. Yet, I now see my actions or lack of action as complicit in allowing the racist systems of this country to continue to feel empowered.Choose to read this book to be challenged and grow. Recognize your part in the system and how you can be better about challenging the system and bringing about change.
R. Coker –
Ijeoma Oluo has some excellent advice for white folks in “So You Want to Talk About Race.” This book may be most helpful to people who think “I’m not racist” or who read about Black Lives Matter and #takeaknee and can’t understand why they’re necessary. Oluo addresses topics that you may hesitate to raise with black friends, encourages you to revisit your understanding of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X and explains concepts including emotional labor and white privilege. Consider this anti-racism 101.For white folks ready for the 200-level anti-racism course — people who are ready to accept that White Supremacy is real and that they’ve benefited from it — Oluo offers additional challenges. I especially appreciated her call toward the end of the book to move beyond talk and into action. Find a place, whether it’s your kids’ school or the local political scene, and use your privilege to help dismantle systems that have done so much damage to people of color.If you’re not ready for this book or don’t view discussions of race as a necessary part of your life as a white person, I’d encourage you to read “Between the World and Me” by Ta-Nehisi Coates and “Just Mercy” by Bryan Stevenson, both of which led me to empathy and anger and prompted me to speak out in ways I hadn’t previously.
Brian Smith –
I’m trying to be an ally the best I can. Halfway through this book I was completely overcome with gratitude. I had to put the book down, go to the author’s website, and send a thank-you note through the contact form. What an incredible gift it is to read her words, written for people like me, with such gentleness but firmness: “I know you want to help. It’s good that you’re trying, but listen to me. You need to do better than this. Here’s how.” This is powerful work, carried out with unsurpassed skill. I recommend it to everyone.
Jennifer Derryberry Mann –
This book helped me, as a white person learning about how to be anri-racist, better understand some of the foundational concepts of racism that I have learned over the past few years, and introduced me to new ideas as well. Ijeoma’s stories of her personal experiences helped deepen my understanding of what is racism, and made me realize things I’ve said and done that likely caused harm. I’m grateful for this book, and I’m so appreciative of the kind, firm direction given in these pages.
KSchultz –
I love the size of the pool as to where my 5 year old, myself and my husband can all fit and relax comfortably. Also, my 5 year old is able to practice some of his glides he has learned in his swim lessons as he can push off from one side and glide to the other side under water. The only issue was blowing up the pool. We had to use a leaf blower.
Mariah Sihotang –
I picked up this book in hopes to learn how to have conversations about race with the people in my life. What I didn’t expect to happen is for it to completely rock my world. Ijeoma Oluo does an amazing job breaking down experiences & explaining the impact they cause on Black and Brown people. I opened this book as a privileged white woman with the best of intentions, but completely ignorant to how I myself was contributing to racism by simply accepting the privilege without question & moving through life in a while bubble, again never questioning common phrases, stereotypes or how unconscious actions were ingrained in me through years of living within that privileged white space. Thankfully, this book not only gives examples of how someone may be a part of the problem (even without realizing it) but solutions on how to grow & move forward in the fight to end racism.