White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

Di Angelo, a white sociologist, spent decades leading diversity sessions in organizations large and small. Invariably during these sessions many white participants made it clear, by actions like slamming their materials on the table or sometimes even exiting the room, that they saw these discussions as an intrusion on their day and that racism was Not their concern. They were angry and she wondered why just talking about racism provoked such a strong reaction. At the same time in her private life she realized that she and other white liberals, although more polite and low key, would also dismiss racism in any discussion with responses like “Oh, I don’t see race” or “I marched in the 60s.”Di Angelo gradually came to realize that for white people any talk about racism challenged three fundamental ideologies -individuality, objectivity and meritocracy that functioned to maintain a belief in white innocence.Of course we all want to think of ourselves as good people. That’s natural. But Di Angelo says that because we white people are born and raised in a systemically racist society we will all hold white supremacist beliefs. So we can just calm down and accept that reality. The goal is not to defend ourselves from the racist label but to mitigate harm by changing beliefs that lead to covert racist remarks that in some way deny racism is real. Saying that each of us is unique And that a person’s race is unimportant denies the existence of racism. We can even be kind to individual Black people and still perpetuate a white supremacist society. Race is a human construct but racism is indeed real, and deadly.Likewise, believing that we are objective and will know when a remark or action is racist is saying that we as white people get to decide what is and is not racism. That belief and the actions that result will ignore the Black person’s experience of racism entirely. How often has a Black person been told that because a white person didn’t intend to offend that they should just forgive and forget? Way too often.Perhaps the most pernicious is the belief in the myth of meritocracy. The reality is our privileges as white people are cumulative and Americans do not all start at the same place. To believe and act in ways that perpetuate that belief, for example saying there are so few Black people at your workplace because they are too lazy or unqualified to apply, is clearly an effort to maintain white innocence and deny white participation in systemic racism.In conclusion, we as white people need to examine our own foundational beliefs – individuality, objectivity and meritocracy – that serve to convince us of our innocence in perpetuating this systemically racist society. Only then can we do less harm and be more of a help instead of a hindrance.

This book is spot on. And I have to admit, after reading the book I came on here to write a review at how important this book is to read to for white people, but I started reading some of the reviews and realized that they many of them are perfect examples of White Fragility! These one star reviews are from angry defensive White people who are ranting about the very things she talks about in her book! You can tell these individuals are so defensive and entitled that they can’t hear the message of the book!!! If anyone questions whether this book is an accurate and important description of why so many White people can’t engage in discussions about racism and can’t hear the message that is being relayed to them bc they are deeply defensive of their inflated sense of self (hello narcissism), their deeply entitled beliefs (hello more narcissism), and their privilege that has been socially and systematically reinforced for centuries, read this book- and then read the one star reviews from these people…Unbelievable!!!! Rather than self examining and starting to recognize that they have been complicit in a system that has benefited them by degrading and oppressing others, some white people feel victimized!!!! White people feeling victimized by this book?!?! Are you kidding me?! I’m incensed by this!!!! Every white person needs to read this book. And pass it on to another White person to read. We have a responsibility to educate others about systemic racism and to take action to change it. It starts by looking at ourselves and having uncomfortable conversations with other white people about racism. It’s not something we can think about doing or maybe we could do if we felt inclined, it us our responsibility as White people. Period. The end.

I’ve spent the better part of my career in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. As a white person who has had a lot of training in DEI, I was challenged (in a good way) by this book. It’s direct, gives good examples, made me just a bit uncomfortable (which is the goal and how we grow), and taught me a few things I had not known before. I highly recommend this book or audio CD for white people trying to better understand the black and brown community experience living in America.

This book was recommended to me by a Black colleague and I am really thankful to him for that. This book goes a long way towards shattering the myth of racism being a belief held by a few whites. It clearly and repeatedly makes the case that racism is imbued in our culture in the United States and it is perpetuated even by well-meaning whites in a myriad of ways each day. The big “elephant in the room” is the over sensitivity that whites have when the topic of race and our racism come up in conversation. Because we have all been conditioned to see racism as inherently evil and characterized by the intent of the individual, for the vast majority of whites who do not think of themselves as racist, we then avoid culpability of benefitting from systemic racism and a culture that rewards whiteness and provides untold benefits and power. We as whites may not have designed or asked for the current environment that benefits us, but when we do not speak out about its unfairness, we perpetuate the status quo.Author Robin DiAngelo is a white woman who has facilitated numerous diversity trainings over the years. Her stories about how these are often hijacked by whites through anger, tears and denial are unforgettable…no wonder people of color don’t want to “share their experiences” with us whites! The book not only provides a lens through which I was able to clearly see my own racism but appreciate that it is inevitable due to socialization. The book also offers practical tips on hoe to be anti racist and helped me unferxtand that this is a lifelong continual process, not simply based on “what’s in my heart”. Highly recommend!!!

“A more fruitful approach would be to ask yourself, ‘I am white and I have had X experience. How did X shape me as a result of being white?’ Setting aside your sense of uniqueness is a critical skill that will allow you to see the big picture of the society in which we live; individualism will not.”White Fragility by Robin Diangelo, is a book written to encourage white people to take a look at themselves and their fragility in being challenged about racism. Points are made throughout the book about how culturally whites, are set up to be in a hierarchy that we don’t acknowledge.“In virtually every situation or context deemed normal, neutral or prestigious in society, I belong racially.”The book was very eye opening for me. I learned and processed things about myself that were difficult. I am still processing a lot of it. This is a book that needed to be written and that I for sure needed to read. I have a long ways to go, and will definitely continue on my journey in this. I also will certainly read books on this topic from POC. I give this book 5 full stars and highly recommend it.“‘White People: I don’t want you to understand me better. I want you to understand yourselves. Your survival has never depended on our knowledge of white culture. In fact, it’s required you’re ignorance.’- Ijeoma Oluo.”

As a white woman, I’ve since been avoiding the person. This book has shown me should talk over what I said with a white person who will give me honest feedback. Then, I can approach my black coworker and ask if she’s willing to meet with me. She may say no. This book is very helpful.

I consider White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo a thoughtful and intriguing self-development book for white people who wish to better themselves. Receiving constructive criticism can be frustratingly difficult especially if you believe/feel that you don’t need/deserve it. I do suggest finding similar books to compare the author’s ideas, facts, and experiences. Here are a couple of quotations that I got from the book that I believe white people should give some consideration.“Rather than use what you see as unique about yourself as an exemption from further examination, a more fruitful approach would be to ask yourself, “I am white and I have X experience. How did X shape me as a result of also being white?” Setting aside your sense of uniqueness is a critical skill that will allow you to see the big picture of the society in which we live; individualism will not.”“Conceptualizing myself on an active continuum changes the question from whether I am or am not a racist to a much more constructive question: Am I actively seeking to interrupt racism in this context? And perhaps even more importantly, how do I know?”

As a white 20 something male, I did not realize what I did not realize. My ignorance bred by my deaf ears in combination with centuries of white socialization left me truly clueless and ashamed of my knowledge gap. This is a must read for white individuals, especially those who consider themselves “progressive” like I did, as it helps define a reality of prejudice, bias, and racism in the western world. This book provided me an introduction for beginning to challenge the status quo of racially unequal institutions in the US; something I am responsible for doing.At times, the book did feel redundant. It felt like the same tropes were repeated consistently with different examples and more words. I realized that it is not only important to hammer the points home and fully identify, explain, and reflect on these instances, but that this is but 169 pages of what persons of non-white races have felt daily and hourly for literal centuries.We live in a time that needs change. Myself and other white individuals have a responsability to change and challenge the ourselves, our peers, and our institutions. DiAngelo provides a great introduction to do this, and demonstrates just how fragile we can be when it comes to acting on these changes. I highly recommend to all my peers and fellow readers.

In 2011 white educator, scholar, and diversity trainer Robin DiAngelo coined the term “white fragility” to describe white folks’ responses to discussions around race, especially when asked to consider their own racism. Now she has taken her long experience and knowledge to create a potent publication: White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism. Crisp, to the point and chock-a-block with useful information, DiAngelo digs deeply and effectively into the difficulties encountered by white people when it comes to white supremacy and this country’s long-unresolved history with race. She unpacks language, defines difficult ideas, presents recent research, addresses triggers, white women’s tears, millennium racism, and more with clarity and accuracy. Especially effective are the anecdotes she provides as they make explicit the ideas she is discussing; these include her own personal experiences, those of friends and acquaintances, and situations that happened during her diversity work. This succinct book, full of food for thought, is one of the best I’ve read by a fellow white person on today’s urgent need for us to deal with our own racism, white supremacy, and what we can do about it. Highly, highly recommended.

This is a very hard book to read, if you are a white American. Robin DiAngelo unmasks our pretensions of innocence and superiority as she forces white readers to look honestly at the racist culture in which they have been socialized. She is well-equipped to do so. She has been a trainer in industries on strategies for racial and social justice work, for more than two decades.In this book, DiAngelo examines issues such as White Privilege, White Solidarity and White Supremacy. She also delves into many other topics, tactics, fears and pretenses that block true dialogue and perpetuate a systemic racism that perhaps began with the arrival of African slaves in the British American colonies in 1620… if not earlier.This book is not easy to read, as I have said, but that it why it is crucial to read, especially during this period when Americans are watching our cities explode with protests against inhumane structures, police brutality, and even the president giving orders to disperse peaceful protesters with tear gas and rubber bullets. I recommend this book to those who feel confused by the protests that we are experiencing across the nation in this late spring and early summer 2020. And I recommend the book even more to those who want to do something concrete to address the wrongs that have lead us to this point. We should have done this work 50 years ago, but maybe we were too fragile at the time.

This year marks the ninth in which I plan to read and review a book a week. Over the years, I’ve been fortunate to read so many great books, meet other book lovers, and learn about the community at large. A new year also gives me the opportunity to reflect on my past and plan for my future. 2020 was a historic year for many reasons, but one thing that is undeniable is that for many this was the beginning of a national reconning with the ugly truth of systemic racism and police brutality. The horrific murders of Geroge Floyd and Breonna Taylor, to name just a few, sparked much-needed conversations and calls to action. When a co-worker recommended I read Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility, a book meant to help white people come to terms with their place in a system built upon racial inequity, I knew it would be a valuable resource in continuing my own journey toward becoming a more effective ally. I read the book last year but decided a re-read would be an appropriate way to begin this new year of blogging and reviewing.Before reading this book, I considered myself to be fairly in touch with the imbalance built into our country. I’ve noticed the times when I was afforded opportunities that were only available to me as a white man. I’ve had open conversations with friends and co-workers about how their experiences differ from mine, and those conversations helped me to see a perspective that I was blind to. DiAngelo, a white woman herself, presented topics that further dismantled my existing perceptions around race and helped me to see things in a more well-rounded way. Here’s the thing, even as someone conscious of the differences in society for people of different ethnicities, I was still complicit in perpetuating those same systems that I recognized as wrong. It is difficult for anyone to admit that they have perpetuated systemic racism, but it is undeniable that I’ve been complicit in this very system.In terms of my own reading, I was shocked to realize how inequitable the entire publishing industry truly is. As someone who publishes a review of a book each week, I feel that I bear a responsibility to consume and present reviews of diverse stories from diverse storytellers. I read 52 books in 2020, and only 4 of those were written by a BIPOC author. Simply put, that is not good enough. White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo asks us to not only recognize our place in systemic racism but to actively take action to fight against it. However small my impact in the larger book community may be, I feel moved to do more, share more, and continue learning more. Each month this year, I will resolve to read and review at least one book by a BIPOC author. This small goal on top of my annual reading goal will serve to broaden my perspective while sharing a wider variety of authors and stories. I may not be able to change the publishing industry as a whole, but I can certainly impact the kind of books that I choose to read and share here on A Book A Week. Happy New Year and happy reading!

Several of my friends recommended this book to me. I was a little skeptical at first to buy it. But lately with all the riots and protests, I have been feeling really confused about the whole racial issue. I went ahead and got the book. I taught in an all black school for many years and then with many black clients in an HIV clinic in San Francisco for 15 years. I thought that I knew a lot about racism. But this book is a real eye opener. DiAngelo is an excellent writer and she presents a well-thought out overview of what racism really is and what we all need to do to bridge racial tensions and hopefully make this world a better place. She didn’t ever make me feel uncomfortable at all. But she made me realize how, as white people, we have all been raised in a dominant society with many unacknowledged privileges.I highly recommend this book to anyone who is willing to learn and change in order to become a better person and a better ancestor.

Dozens of experiences over the past couple of years have brought me to this VERY important work. Dr. DiAngelo has helped me understand my world, and brought clarity to why I view the world as I do. I approached this book expecting my love cup to be chipped, I was wrong, the love cup is in shards at my feet.It is clear Dr. DiAngelo has engaged in the conversation from many angles, as anytime my ego would seek to raise a rebuttal, her writing cut it off at the knees.As a middle-aged, able-bodied, straight, non-obese, white male, American systems are setup to ensure I have encountered the least amount of discrimination of anyone. This book has helped me better understand how these dymanics came to be. However, Dr. DiAngelo does NOT engage in the practice of white-shaming.Dr. DiAngelo is asking the hard questions to ensure I understand the truth about the world in which I live. The throat punches hurt, but I am looking for reality. I have been living in a pristine bubble for too long, oblivious to the lived experience of those that don’t share my same characteristics.Highly recommend this book if you want to understand the American air you breathe and are ready for the reprocussions of having your eyes forced open. If your unwilling to change, pick another book on your wish list; happy reading.

The harsh criticism of “White Fragility” is disheartening but not surprising because the responses speak to how very necessary confronting the issue is. First, know, if being white resonates with you then you are going to feel uncomfortable at some point in the book but it’s what you do with the unpleasantness that matters. Don’t fall for the dichotomous good versus bad feeling aligned with racism because the natural instinct is self- preservation and each time we safeguard self the insidious nature of discrimination persists. Robin DiAngelo, through her work, is providing light to a path out of the darkness and hideous misdeeds of the past but one book cannot solve it all. We are required to show up each day and examine ourselves.

I am in a book club, and we have been going through different books on anti racism. White Fragility was so insightful! It is convicting, she doesn’t pull punches because she knows how important it is to know! And for us as White people to hear.

This was a difficult book for me to read and I know that for my White friends ( AND I DO Mean friends who are White), this book was /is earth shattering. We read this as part of a Just Faith group. If you the reader cannot see past your privileges’ and realize that people of color are just like you, except we face fear and faced this all of our entire lives and through out generations., Has never been question of any “extra rights or anything taken away from the Constitution, just want the rights that all citizens have. This is a book that you will need to have a frank and honest look and discussion with all within your circle and see the direction to go ( if you can see past privileges and work for justice.

When I purchased this book I was expecting a tongue lashing against the system by a disgruntled person. I was ready to face the wrath as I opened the first page. After all that is what we have come to expect from all quarters today; wild accusations all around. As I dug deeper into the book I understood that that approach itself was a defensive mechanism. In any case, this book and advice is for others. The actual racists. Not me.The author explains how it is not an individual attitude or action to the system that is significant because the system itself is biased and we are just the actors on that grand stage. How can then we not be re-learning, evaluate, and have a second take of what we know? Rather than me remake the argument that the author had so clearly presented in the book, I will let you be the judge for yourself.People in the media, business owners, business executives, leaders, teachers, people of influence, people in the corporate world, … in general, everyone should read this book. After all we live in the society and knowing an important aspect of the society is, well, important.

Many Kudos to Mrs. Robin Diangelo for having the courage to provide us with a well written book about the truth of racism in America. It’s DEFINITELY a challenging topic to conceptualize; however, she was “point on” in her assessment. This book is a “MUST READ” for ALL White people, and we, as African Americans, would benefit from her wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and experiences that she so graciously shared. Mrs. Diangelo is very transparent and eager to display her personal transformation in hopes that it will spur her White counterparts and America’s racist institutions to effectively address and ameliorate racism on a constant and consistent basis. I have the utmost respect for her because she humbled herself despite the ridicule, honestly disclosed a systemic problem that has always plagued this nation, and provided applicable solutions that can be healing and liberating for both Blacks and Whites. Change is inevitable if you read this book with an honest and open heart and mind.

My husband was so engrossed in this book, explained why we suffer with racism today, either it’s not an issue or people play victim to the issue

This book was thought provoking and helped me appreciate that although I have always claimed to be color blind and not a racist, that I actually am. I live in the societal construct that is lead by whites. My silence against the subtle and not so subtle forces at work to reinforce white superiority perpetuates racism in our society. I didn’t realize it lurks under the surface the way it does and how my silence supports it unknowingly. Certainly an eye opener for me that caused me to self reflect on how i can change my personal behavior to break my silence. Really thought provoking.

One of my favorite books. Very very thoroughly written and concepts are perfectly explained. I know this book has bad reviews so I was slightly hesitant to read but I think people need to take a step back and really do their best to absorb the authors educated perspective. This book brings up important subjects that people so easily become defensive towards. For reference I’m 14 cisgendered girl and mexican American. I loved this book and I will definitely be re-reading.

A surprisingly insightful and refreshingly honest examination of a dynamic that has remained hidden in the shadows for far too long. All I can say is thank you for your ability to be forthright, truthful & courageous enough to say what needed to be said, particularly in light of the current state of race relations in this country.

Any review I offer on this book simply cannot compete with the following quotes in their statement of the problem and the solution. Read this book.“[S]topping our racist patterns must be more important than working to convince others that we don’t have them. We do have them, and people of color already know we have them; our efforts to prove otherwise are not convincing.”“An antidote to white fragility is to build up our stamina to bear witness to the pain of racism that we cause, not to impose conditions that require people of color to continually validate our denial.”“How, where, and when you give me feedback is irrelevant—it is the feedback I want and need. Understanding that it is hard to give, I will take it any way I can get it. From my position of social, cultural, and institutional white power and privilege, I am perfectly safe and can handle it. If I cannot handle it, it’s on me to build my racial stamina.”“Because racism does not rely solely on individual actors, the racist system is reproduced automatically. To interrupt it, we need to recognize and challenge the norms, structures, and institutions that keep it in place. But because they benefit us, racially inequitable relations are comfortable for most white people.”“Racism hurts (even kills) people of color 24-7. Interrupting it is more important than my feelings, ego, or self-image.”

Adds a new level of awareness to racism.

So I do want to say that I thought the book is interesting. I purchased this book not knowing anything about it. It was recommended to me by a friend, and I was told to have an open mind before sitting down to read.So in my opinion, it Depends upon who you are, and what political stance you have If you will like this book or not. I won’t spoil the book for you but I think everyone who reads this with an open mind can learn something, and see things from a different point of view. The author makes some interesting points that might make you think about things differently. Some things you may have not experienced or even though about (again don’t want to spoil the book for anyone who wants to read it). All in all I think it is a good read for anyone with an open mind wanting to learn something.

I am half way through and I think this is an important book. Really does bring into focus the social economic structures and how white people benefit from them. I puzzled over why she called the book “White Fragility” as to me it was a social/economic review. That was before I try talking about the book to other white people. Now I can see why she named it “White Fragilty” because the reaction of some people (including some I thought were fairly open minded) was astounding. Even more so because the most vocal “haters” of the subject were people who hadn’t even read the book.All in all, I think it’s an eye opening book and I wish more people would take the time to read it.

This book calls to attention my ignorance about racism. As a white American, I’ve been raised in a society where white supremacy is so ingrained to my understanding of the world I inhabit, that although I may be aware of racism, I am likely unaware of my own culpability. When I am informed of my actions or behaviors that perpetuate a white supremist society, my response is often one of defensiveness, anger, withdrawal, a sense of victimization, justification, or rejection of the information I am provided with. These responses are a result of my own white fragility, and are apart of the Western white supremist culture that I’ve grown up in and that I live. It is my responsibility to educate myself, to challenge myself, to discomfort myself in an effort to be as an individual less racist and take a step in the direction of a less white supremist society. Often we are taught to see racism ads a dichotomy: racism is bad, not racist is good. Racism is bad, but often times people with good intentions are not aware their actions have racist effects. And people who genuinely want to embrace an anti racist society need to be informed when they are operating in a racist way. This means losing the white fragility that our society has produced.I was very interested in DiAngelo’s perspective of white progressives. (As I define myself as a progressive and am white, this book and especially this part of the book was helpful to me. Dingell believes white progressives are often the least aware of their racism and also the least receptive to really being challenged about their racism. I found this directness extremely helpful. DiAngelo provides specific examples when teaching about white fragility and how white fragility is so damaging to people of color and to achieving a more equal society.People of color, especially Black people, have been striving and fighting for a more racially just society for decades. Most often, they’ve fought while their own survival is imperiled because of the long-standing belief in white supremacy, generally because it was in the economic interest of whites to keep other races, especially black people, enslaved, in servitude, or otherwise subservient to whites. The pattern of history and is entrenched. If as white people, we truly want to learn anti racism, we need to begin with harsh truths about ourselves. I’ve read many books about racism and anti racism, but this book stands out in its direct instructions and information about where white people can and should realistically begin examining their own white fragility.

So glad I was recommended this book. It’s a tough read and an uncomfortable thing to consider – that all of us white people are racist. I certainly don’t want to be. I feel after years of trying to sidestep the issue of racism, I now have the beginning tools to actually make progress for myself.

This book systematically lays out a devastatingly uncomfortable reality for anybody who is white (I am). Race is the single defining characteristic of this country from its inception through today. “White Fragility” demands that you to confront that reality, the systemic and institutional racism that are at the core of our society, built upon the premise white supremacy and superiority, and over hundreds of years so deeply embedded in America’s power structure. One need only look at all structures of power in America and whiteness is the dominant characteristic. As is clear from historical struggles, no structure of power willing cedes it.I appreciate DiAngelo shifting the focus away from racial prejudice, individual acts of racial bias and hatred, to maintain a focus on institutions, white reaction to that methodical systemic assault (while there are plenty of individual acts of hatred, spurred by leaders openly and not so subtly inciting them now), most people reject individual acts of hatred. It is the unconscious biases and systemic critiques that break the fragile white psyche, elicit all the defense mechanisms that are best described and showcased in “White Fragility”. Our inability to confront racism with self-awareness and openness, admit that it is systemic and creates privileges that are omni-present lies at the center of our inability to break the yoke it has on our country and the devastating economic, educational and health impacts it has on communities of color.It is clear that many of the negative views and 1 star reviews are those most exhibiting white fragility.

As I sit to write this review, I’ll be honest, I am a bit anxious. But why? Why am I so hesitant? I really enjoyed this book. The book has a lot of truth. It has a lot authority and weight. It is interesting as I prepared to write this review, I can feel my white fragility. I am nearly paralyzed by fear; fear that I will say the wrong thing, fear that I will accidentally write something insensitive or prejudice without even knowing it. My gut reaction is to be overly vague and pleasant in hopes that my words are unmemorable. This is just a symptom of my fragility.I am a white male. I have grown up in a culture that benefits white males basically because the culture was created by white males and it has been maintained by white males. Racism (and sexism) is built into the system. It is very difficult to see this from the white male perspective because it is so extensive, it is like recognizing your asleep while still asleep. Furthermore, white males do not see the racism around them because there is little reason to. White males do not benefit from recognizing racism and if they do recognize it, they don’t call it out because there are little to no immediate benefits in doing so.For a rather short book, there is a lot in here. Even though I have tried to educate myself on diversity over the past dozen years or so, there is still a lot for me to learn. In the book, Robin Diangelo shares how white people typically respond to conversations on racism, and I am pretty sure I have employed each of these stereotypical white declarations from “everyone is equal, I don’t think about people in color” to “my black friend says…”Even as I read this book, my defenses kept popping up suddenly. My gut would react unexpectedly and I would have to stop and let my brain catch up. I definitely had an internal struggle inside me, a struggle I am embarrassed to admit. I have to remind myself, that this internal struggle is a luxury, or at the very least, I am allowed to have this struggle in a comfortable environment. This is not a position many get to experience.I think this is a great book. I highly recommend it.Here are some valuable nuggets from this book.“The decisions made at those tables affect the lives of those not at the tables. Exclusion by those at the table doesn’t depend on willful intent; we don’t have to intend to exclude for the results of our actions to be exclusion.”“We come to understand who we are by understanding who we are not. But because of our society’s emphasis on individuality, many of us are unskilled at reflecting on our group memberships.”“Setting aside your sense of uniqueness is a critical skill that will allow you to see the big picture of the society in which we live.”“All humans have prejudice; we cannot avoid it…People who claim not to be prejudice are demonstrating a profound lack of self awareness.”

A racist, if you’re white. The good news is that this does not mean that you’re a bad person. Every white person is raised in so many subtle and non-subtle ways to benefit from racism that there’s no way you can’t be. I wish I weren’t, but so it goes. As a kid with ADHD, I was lucky enough to miss some of the subtle toppings that most people get from socialization, so I’ve known for years that something was amiss. I couldn’t figure out just what it was, but I knew it was big, and serious. Thanks to Ms. Diangelo’s book, now I know. I don’t like it, but I know it’s true. And if it’s true, I’ll take it. Some of the early going bothered me, then something switched on or off and what bothers me is my reaction to other people. It’s BS, to be honest, and I hate BS, but it’s the way it is in America. An excellent book, one that every white person should read until they understand it.By the way, please call me an Anglo. Heck of a lot less baggage in that word, and maybe it’ll help me recover.

This book should be required a reading.The lesson taught are lessons to live by. Just the mere ability to get white people to understand our point of view is extremely difficult. Therefore, most relationships (not all) between black and white people are rarely authentic and the relationships are not deep and meaningful.

I was surprised that this book has only a 4 star review. It is quite accurate and ground breaking.I read through the 1 star comments to see if I had missed something and to possibly gain a different perspective. It seems to me that most of the 1 star reviews reveal exactly what the author is talking about: the sensitivity and defensiveness of white people to discuss our role in upholding a racist society.One of the most helpful premises the book puts forth is the idea that racism isn’t just deliberate, despicable acts perpetrated my immoral people, but the ability to function well and benefit from a system that holds down people of color and not challenge the system or our role in upholding it.This book should be required reading for every white person. If you can read it with an open mind and the ability to drop your defensiveness, there is much to be learned.

I had heard quite a bit about this book, both positive and negative. I decided I needed to read it for myself, both to educate myself on the topic of systemic racism and to form my own opinion of the book.I found the book to be both challenging and enlightening. The author definitely challenges white readers to change our perspective on systemic racism in America and the role we play in that system.In reading the first half of the book, I was troubled a bit by DiAngelo’s terminology and word usage. She uses terms such as “racism” and “white supremacy” differently from their more common usages. She is careful to explain her usage and definitions. However, it still took a bit of getting used to.I was also a bit troubled that her terminology seems intended to make her primary intended audience, white Americans, uncomfortable. However, by the time I finished the book I realized DiAngelo does this on purpose because she sees discomfort as an essential step for most white Americans to begin changing our racial paradigm and begin developing stamina for discussing racial topics without reverting to familiar defensive tactics.Reading this book also helped me better understand some past conversations I found confusing. It is always easier to communicate when all participants understand the terminology being used.I feel I also have a better understanding of some of the harsh critiques of this book. Not only is the book intentionally uncomfortable for most white Americans to read, but it also uses terminology differently from common usages. The result is it would be really easy for a reader to take offense… and equally easy to grab a quote out of context that comes across as having a completely different meaning from the author’s intent.Now for some discussion of what the book does not do:1. It does not promote a socialist agenda.2. It does not advocate for financial reparations.3. It does not mention the phrase “Critical Race Theory.”4. It makes no mention whatsoever of capitalism.5. It is neither un-American nor anti-American.6. It is not opposed to sound Christian doctrine, nor to the Gospel, nor to the Bible.7. It is not divisive.8. It does not seek to make white Americans feel guilty for things done by our ancestors.On the contrary, the whole point of the book is to help white Americans better understand systemic racism and our role in that system, so we can begin to learn to do better at a personal level. I found the message of this book quite compatible with the commandment of Jesus Christ to love others as He has loved us.DiAngelo displays both humility and hope in how she shares personal stories of her own experiences and struggles.DiAngelo is an educator by profession. Her book is very educational. And her vision for reducing inequities of systemic racism is through education.I highly recommend this book to anyone (especially white Americans) who would like to learn more about systemic racism and our roles in those systems, as well as how we can begin to do better.I would caution any white reader to read this book with a teachable attitude, prepared to learn. If approached from a position of arrogance, you will likely just come away frustrated and angry.

Mandatory reading for us white folks who say equity is one of our values. A personal transformative book. Excellent, excellent !

I leave my reading with more questions than answers. I think that is what the author has told me, I need to find the answers myself in order to become the better person I choose to be. There is no silver bullet here, and only honest, painful self introspection will help me find answers. The brutal honesty makes her work all the more impactful.

Must reading for all white people and POC who want to understand why white people no matter how well meaning contribute to the systemic racism that prevails today. DiAngelo is a diversity trainer and is not shy about her journey and misconceptions that have formed her as a 21st century white woman.The book is not weighed down in academic blathering. DiAngelo writes for her audience.It’s an eye opener for all people.This work was first published in 2018, it could not be more timely today.The book is not anti-white as some ill informed critics have suggested. It is holding a mirror up to white people so that we all can do better. It’s also a great book for POC to read to get a better grasp on issues that are gray.There is no devil here. Just humanity and how we were raised.It’s a terrific read. You won’t regret it.

As a minority that grew up in a diverse but pred. white neighborhood, I was curious to see if Robin DiAngelo would hit on the fears and insecurities that I have grown up with, such as bringing up the issues of race to my closest white friends or having to tolerate racist jokes to avoid being the “party pooper” of the group.She hit EVERYNAILON THEHEAD!She is very well researched, experienced, and I can tell she has reached out to many people for the writing on this book. She has a genuine want to see the betterment of society and backs up every chapter with experience from either herself or what she has noticed on the topics of race.* This is by far the best socially conscious book of the year and is an essential read.Unfortunately…I fear many who need to read this book will be too afraid to even look at it.

“White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism” by Robin DiAngelo is only one book covering only one aspect of racism. One book, one day of antiracist education, one week, one month, one year are not going to be enough. But this book is a great place for White people to start, learn a little humility, and start building stamina for grappling with race and racism. I learned a lot while experienced many head-smack moments and moments of shame while reading this short, accessible, blunt, and necessary book:* The difference between “prejudice,” “discrimination,” and “racism”.* Why racism only flows in one direction (and “reverse racism” is nonsensical.)* Why White people react the way they do when engaged about race.* Why White progressive liberals are particularly ignorant of and damaging with their own racist behaviors.* How racism has become more insidious since the 1960s, making “I marched in the 60s” meaningless when confronting today’s issues.* Without diminishing the impact of racism on every person of color, how anti-blackness has been particularly vicious in the United States.* How the United States has exported racism, making white supremacy a global oppressive phenomenon.* How Western ideologies of individualism and objectivity perpetuate racism.

Anyone who is watching the news or reading about the civil unrest, protests, and flagrant racism and is feeling that urge to do something, this is a great place to start. I would even call this the foundation of white education (meaning both accepting that being white means something, and as education for white people to start doing better). One of the author’s strengths is in laying out the history that has led the US to where we are now in hand with statistics, percentages, and other facts—all well sourced, in case you ever need to prove to someone where the study came from—all to explain and define what she means.Her other great strength is in the anecdotes; she is forthcoming with her own failures, which as an anxious perfectionist, I appreciate knowing that it is inevitable that we (white people) will make mistakes, but to keep on trying and, just as importantly, HOW to proceed. Knowing that the next time I screw up there are clear steps I can take to do better is helpful (a step-by-step checklist has never been so helpful) along with feelings and behaviors I can look for in myself—all this in addition to the transformative effect of the book has irrevocably changed me.White people: this is the time to reflect and change. Start here (or don’t, there’s plenty of equally quality sources) but start. Now.

I am a white pastor who is a part of a team that fights against racism within the church. Engaged in public education in Christian circles has been a sobering experience as white people hide behind their belief to support their fragility and prejudice. This book provided me with personal insight that I have never before encountered. The insight is that as a white man, I carry racism and the benefits of white privilege with me all the time. This understanding deepens my empathy and awareness when working with others from all social and racial backgrounds. I need to be consciously “less-white” and seek honest feedback from minority groups.If you are interested in reconciliation and peace-making this book is for you. Be brave and look at yourself as you read it. DiAngelo has given the reader an opportunity for personal growth and insight. This book’s insight is a big step toward white maturity and relational peace.

This is a liberating book. This book’s biggest contribution is its redefinition of racism . It allows the white reader to breathe a sigh of relief and just get to work to uncover our blind spots. The book is specific with examples of the embedded thinking that drives our racist behaviors, and it invites us to take full responsibility for our racism . We can stop expecting to be rescued by anyone! The author makes a distinction that allows us to shed psychological guilt ( It gives a brilliant assertion of the function of white guilt which keeps racism snugly in place) and allows for the giving and receiving of feedback that make authentic relationships among the races possible. White Fragility is a profoundly hopeful book which can help us become a better people and a stronger country (USA), because it can help us to finally acknowledge the truth of how we built America and why we collude to keep t h e status quo.

My private Facebook Women’s Group of mixed races got this book to do a learning circle around and have discussions. It’s excellent. Know that it’s not an easy read for whites or blacks or other people of color for very different reasons, because of the pain and suffering caused by white denial through the generations. Prepare yourself that when you don’t want to know anymore, take breaks, but keep pushing through and don’t make black people do your work for you. You can do it! We can do this! There are downloadable reading guides for readers and facilitators, in order to do learning circles, which is so helpful. It’s going to take us Whites to overcome and eradicate White Supremacy, White Racism and White privilege over time and in future generations. It starts now. This is not a one and done effort. Dig deep, stand strong in your ability to be open to change, to let go of your programming and allow new ideas to enter. Be compassionate and forgiving with yourself and others for evolution. Educate yourself and others so we can all evolve.

This book is amazing. It’s a quick read that can be completed in one day but the complexity of the concepts will have you coming back to the book again. Although DiAngelo repeats much of what Black people have been saying since Emancipation, I believe that her positionality as a white woman makes it easier for her to convey her points. I have never heard a white person speak so frankly about issues of race, as too many of my experiences have shown that white people are deeply uncomfortable with the topic. Avoiding the discussion about race doesn’t stop the perpetuation of racism, it just renders it more insidious, and further oppresses people it impacts. DiAngelo digs deep into her examination of societal norms and connects the dots between the reality of our existence in America and the historical legacy that has brought us here. Individuals who are truly committed to the belief that all people are equal will seriously consider the perspectives that Robin DiAngelo offers. P.S. go to robindiangelo.com for information and tools and the author and her work. Peace

I was not at all interested in this book at first, because its title “White Fragility” and how it seemed to be baiting. However, the title alone is what stayed with me so, out of curiosity, I sought out to watch the author speak about the book.I don’t consider myself to be “extreme” and I had felt the title implied being more extremist in one’s views, but it doesn’t read that way at all to me. This book really grasps at the interestingly outdated, seemingly built-in, defense system people have when it comes to race.This is a great book if you want to be, or consider yourself to be, racially tolerant. Robin DiAngelo has been facilitating diversity trainings/anti-discrimination for decades and has joined a long-standing uphill battle, even within herself, to address how we casually act in discriminatory ways.She lays out how people seize control of racially-charged situations. It’s a thought provoking, uncomfortable look at what we could be doing ourselves to perpetuate racism, and how casually we do so!It seems unfortunate that the target audience for this book may already be averse to it.