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White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

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White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

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90 reviews for White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

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  1. weaverana

    Di Angelo, a white sociologist, spent decades leading diversity sessions in organizations large and small. Invariably during these sessions many white participants made it clear, by actions like slamming their materials on the table or sometimes even exiting the room, that they saw these discussions as an intrusion on their day and that racism was Not their concern. They were angry and she wondered why just talking about racism provoked such a strong reaction. At the same time in her private life she realized that she and other white liberals, although more polite and low key, would also dismiss racism in any discussion with responses like “Oh, I don’t see race” or “I marched in the 60s.”Di Angelo gradually came to realize that for white people any talk about racism challenged three fundamental ideologies -individuality, objectivity and meritocracy that functioned to maintain a belief in white innocence.Of course we all want to think of ourselves as good people. That’s natural. But Di Angelo says that because we white people are born and raised in a systemically racist society we will all hold white supremacist beliefs. So we can just calm down and accept that reality. The goal is not to defend ourselves from the racist label but to mitigate harm by changing beliefs that lead to covert racist remarks that in some way deny racism is real. Saying that each of us is unique And that a person’s race is unimportant denies the existence of racism. We can even be kind to individual Black people and still perpetuate a white supremacist society. Race is a human construct but racism is indeed real, and deadly.Likewise, believing that we are objective and will know when a remark or action is racist is saying that we as white people get to decide what is and is not racism. That belief and the actions that result will ignore the Black person’s experience of racism entirely. How often has a Black person been told that because a white person didn’t intend to offend that they should just forgive and forget? Way too often.Perhaps the most pernicious is the belief in the myth of meritocracy. The reality is our privileges as white people are cumulative and Americans do not all start at the same place. To believe and act in ways that perpetuate that belief, for example saying there are so few Black people at your workplace because they are too lazy or unqualified to apply, is clearly an effort to maintain white innocence and deny white participation in systemic racism.In conclusion, we as white people need to examine our own foundational beliefs – individuality, objectivity and meritocracy – that serve to convince us of our innocence in perpetuating this systemically racist society. Only then can we do less harm and be more of a help instead of a hindrance.

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  2. Gwen Henson

    I will say that I was a bit hesitant to listen to a white person (rather than black) tell me about implicit bias and our racist system, but from my view she seemed to communicate black voices very well, and even more importantly discussed her perspective and personal growth (and faults) as a white person conditioned in a white-elevating culture. I learned so much about the mistakes I’ve made in conversations with POC, where I sought to understand but then ended up centering myself and whiteness.The most important point that stands out to me is that we need to let go of the idea that only bad & hateful people harbor racist beliefs or make racist assumptions. We are all have racist biases to some degree. We may not intend to hurt or belittle others, but the damage is the same. Second most important was fact that more so than holding racist notions in our hearts, we are upholding systems, laws and policies that were intended to harm and exclude POC, and do so to this day.The other section that struck me was “the tears of white women”. I’m not a very emotional person, but she was so right, that when racial conflict and subject matter arises, the white woman who gets super upset and emotional completely redirects the discussion to her- while leaving the POC ignored.It’s not that we have to apologize for what happened 300 years ago, but we can make amends- and be ready to change how we operate today, be willing to listen and to apologize when our words, assumptions and apathy harm POC now.

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  3. DrJuls

    This book is spot on. And I have to admit, after reading the book I came on here to write a review at how important this book is to read to for white people, but I started reading some of the reviews and realized that they many of them are perfect examples of White Fragility! These one star reviews are from angry defensive White people who are ranting about the very things she talks about in her book! You can tell these individuals are so defensive and entitled that they can’t hear the message of the book!!! If anyone questions whether this book is an accurate and important description of why so many White people can’t engage in discussions about racism and can’t hear the message that is being relayed to them bc they are deeply defensive of their inflated sense of self (hello narcissism), their deeply entitled beliefs (hello more narcissism), and their privilege that has been socially and systematically reinforced for centuries, read this book- and then read the one star reviews from these people…Unbelievable!!!! Rather than self examining and starting to recognize that they have been complicit in a system that has benefited them by degrading and oppressing others, some white people feel victimized!!!! White people feeling victimized by this book?!?! Are you kidding me?! I’m incensed by this!!!! Every white person needs to read this book. And pass it on to another White person to read. We have a responsibility to educate others about systemic racism and to take action to change it. It starts by looking at ourselves and having uncomfortable conversations with other white people about racism. It’s not something we can think about doing or maybe we could do if we felt inclined, it us our responsibility as White people. Period. The end.

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  4. cj7899

    Robin spoke and wrote from the truth about how racism exist, functions and continues to permeate this world. She didn’t hold back, exposing her own inherent privileges of being white. This book should be required reading, for all peoples. As Robin so, eloquently stated, white supremacy exist worldwide, not just in the American south. If any book should receive five stars this would be it.

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  5. Larkus

    I’ve spent the better part of my career in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. As a white person who has had a lot of training in DEI, I was challenged (in a good way) by this book. It’s direct, gives good examples, made me just a bit uncomfortable (which is the goal and how we grow), and taught me a few things I had not known before. I highly recommend this book or audio CD for white people trying to better understand the black and brown community experience living in America.

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  6. TAL59GRACE

    Should be required reading for all people! Informative and eye-opening. Very important book with crucial lessons to be learned. I’ve learned some things about myself and am grateful. What a wonderful book!

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  7. Rob Galbraith

    This book was recommended to me by a Black colleague and I am really thankful to him for that. This book goes a long way towards shattering the myth of racism being a belief held by a few whites. It clearly and repeatedly makes the case that racism is imbued in our culture in the United States and it is perpetuated even by well-meaning whites in a myriad of ways each day. The big “elephant in the room” is the over sensitivity that whites have when the topic of race and our racism come up in conversation. Because we have all been conditioned to see racism as inherently evil and characterized by the intent of the individual, for the vast majority of whites who do not think of themselves as racist, we then avoid culpability of benefitting from systemic racism and a culture that rewards whiteness and provides untold benefits and power. We as whites may not have designed or asked for the current environment that benefits us, but when we do not speak out about its unfairness, we perpetuate the status quo.Author Robin DiAngelo is a white woman who has facilitated numerous diversity trainings over the years. Her stories about how these are often hijacked by whites through anger, tears and denial are unforgettable…no wonder people of color don’t want to “share their experiences” with us whites! The book not only provides a lens through which I was able to clearly see my own racism but appreciate that it is inevitable due to socialization. The book also offers practical tips on hoe to be anti racist and helped me unferxtand that this is a lifelong continual process, not simply based on “what’s in my heart”. Highly recommend!!!

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  8. Lew Craig

    I started this book with the idea that as a white man who has sympathy with the plight of people of color I was not fragile. I changed my mind. Reading this book is like holding one’s face up to a magnifying mirror, seeing all the blemishes and scars that hadn’t been recognized before. It is not an easy experience. It takes courage to examine one’s heart and mind. Unfortunately, most of us are not willing to take that step, however, every American should read this book. It is a revelation. There have been a number of negative reviews about this book. Those reviews reveal the fragility within us the author is writing about. “White Fragility” must be read with an open mind and a willingness to examine our own blemishes. I’ve been told by friends who are people of color that I “get it.” After reading this book I know I don’t really “get it.” I have a long way to go, but I’m a better person than I was when I turned the first page.

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  9. Melissa Wagner

    “A more fruitful approach would be to ask yourself, ‘I am white and I have had X experience. How did X shape me as a result of being white?’ Setting aside your sense of uniqueness is a critical skill that will allow you to see the big picture of the society in which we live; individualism will not.”White Fragility by Robin Diangelo, is a book written to encourage white people to take a look at themselves and their fragility in being challenged about racism. Points are made throughout the book about how culturally whites, are set up to be in a hierarchy that we don’t acknowledge.“In virtually every situation or context deemed normal, neutral or prestigious in society, I belong racially.”The book was very eye opening for me. I learned and processed things about myself that were difficult. I am still processing a lot of it. This is a book that needed to be written and that I for sure needed to read. I have a long ways to go, and will definitely continue on my journey in this. I also will certainly read books on this topic from POC. I give this book 5 full stars and highly recommend it.“‘White People: I don’t want you to understand me better. I want you to understand yourselves. Your survival has never depended on our knowledge of white culture. In fact, it’s required you’re ignorance.’- Ijeoma Oluo.”

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  10. Kim the Tennis Player

    I have raved about this book and bought a copy for a close friend who is white, and recommended it to my supervisor, who is a white male. The author fearlessly gives the insider’s perspective of how people of color — primarily blacks — are viewed. I’ve observed whites being weary and wary of talk about race. The author connected dots for me as to why. She was also absolutely on point when she described racial “endurance.” (You’ll have to read the book to see what that means.) The author also made a great distinction between “prejudice,” “discrimination,” and “racism.” The first 30 pages blew me away. One of the things the author aptly explained is why some white people will deny they are racists no matter what, and what that label means to them.. The author also validated many thoughts I’ve had about how immigrants view blacks, and the real depth of my friendships with white people, who will not talk race with me.

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  11. Travelingal

    As a white woman, I’ve since been avoiding the person. This book has shown me should talk over what I said with a white person who will give me honest feedback. Then, I can approach my black coworker and ask if she’s willing to meet with me. She may say no. This book is very helpful.

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  12. Fred

    An excellent read. Just what I ordered. Fast delivery.

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  13. Dana Turner

    I consider White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo a thoughtful and intriguing self-development book for white people who wish to better themselves. Receiving constructive criticism can be frustratingly difficult especially if you believe/feel that you don’t need/deserve it. I do suggest finding similar books to compare the author’s ideas, facts, and experiences. Here are a couple of quotations that I got from the book that I believe white people should give some consideration.“Rather than use what you see as unique about yourself as an exemption from further examination, a more fruitful approach would be to ask yourself, “I am white and I have X experience. How did X shape me as a result of also being white?” Setting aside your sense of uniqueness is a critical skill that will allow you to see the big picture of the society in which we live; individualism will not.”“Conceptualizing myself on an active continuum changes the question from whether I am or am not a racist to a much more constructive question: Am I actively seeking to interrupt racism in this context? And perhaps even more importantly, how do I know?”

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  14. Clarafied

    This is a must read for any counselor educator navigating and teaching DEI topics in the classroom

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  15. Lemissile

    As a white 20 something male, I did not realize what I did not realize. My ignorance bred by my deaf ears in combination with centuries of white socialization left me truly clueless and ashamed of my knowledge gap. This is a must read for white individuals, especially those who consider themselves “progressive” like I did, as it helps define a reality of prejudice, bias, and racism in the western world. This book provided me an introduction for beginning to challenge the status quo of racially unequal institutions in the US; something I am responsible for doing.At times, the book did feel redundant. It felt like the same tropes were repeated consistently with different examples and more words. I realized that it is not only important to hammer the points home and fully identify, explain, and reflect on these instances, but that this is but 169 pages of what persons of non-white races have felt daily and hourly for literal centuries.We live in a time that needs change. Myself and other white individuals have a responsability to change and challenge the ourselves, our peers, and our institutions. DiAngelo provides a great introduction to do this, and demonstrates just how fragile we can be when it comes to acting on these changes. I highly recommend to all my peers and fellow readers.

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  16. John Bridges

    I admit that I did not really understand white privilege, or how I benefited from it, till I was an adult but when I finally did, I began to see all the ways I do benefit from it – and how all those not benefiting from it were being ignored, abused, or worse.This book clarified things for me well beyond my understanding of white privilege. To quote from the book, “White supremacy is more than the idea that whites are superior to people of color, it is the deeper premise that supports this idea – the definition of whites as the norm or standard for human, and people of color as a deviation from that norm.”I hadn’t really thought about how when racism is discussed, it is never done so from the vantage point of being overly advantaged or privileged. It’s always from the perspective of “urban,” “disadvantaged,” etc.If you are white, and keep an open mind while reading this book, you will see that it has many lessons to be learned and many concepts to be examined. Though it is quite disturbing when first presented to the reader, understanding that white privilege, white supremacy, and racism are all integral parts of the structure of western civilization is something we all need to accept and work to dismantle.

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  17. Monica Edinger

    In 2011 white educator, scholar, and diversity trainer Robin DiAngelo coined the term “white fragility” to describe white folks’ responses to discussions around race, especially when asked to consider their own racism. Now she has taken her long experience and knowledge to create a potent publication: White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism. Crisp, to the point and chock-a-block with useful information, DiAngelo digs deeply and effectively into the difficulties encountered by white people when it comes to white supremacy and this country’s long-unresolved history with race. She unpacks language, defines difficult ideas, presents recent research, addresses triggers, white women’s tears, millennium racism, and more with clarity and accuracy. Especially effective are the anecdotes she provides as they make explicit the ideas she is discussing; these include her own personal experiences, those of friends and acquaintances, and situations that happened during her diversity work. This succinct book, full of food for thought, is one of the best I’ve read by a fellow white person on today’s urgent need for us to deal with our own racism, white supremacy, and what we can do about it. Highly, highly recommended.

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  18. John M.

    I really love how this book takes what you think is an enlightened state of racial equality in your mind and flips it on its head. It really opened my eyes to the experiences of what others are dealing with. As I was reading, I was feeling frozen, not wanting to move for fear of offending or doing the wrong thing or further participating in a culture of racism. But it soon became very clear to me that the way forward is to acknowledge, listen, be open to others’ experiences and not get offended. I know my intention is in the right place, but that doesn’t mean I don’t take part in a culture which breeds inequality and racism. The question for me now is not am I racist, but what can I do to help stop it. I now feel a bit more uncomfortable and willing to face what is and having open dialogue.

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  19. Joseph Boenzi

    This is a very hard book to read, if you are a white American. Robin DiAngelo unmasks our pretensions of innocence and superiority as she forces white readers to look honestly at the racist culture in which they have been socialized. She is well-equipped to do so. She has been a trainer in industries on strategies for racial and social justice work, for more than two decades.In this book, DiAngelo examines issues such as White Privilege, White Solidarity and White Supremacy. She also delves into many other topics, tactics, fears and pretenses that block true dialogue and perpetuate a systemic racism that perhaps began with the arrival of African slaves in the British American colonies in 1620… if not earlier.This book is not easy to read, as I have said, but that it why it is crucial to read, especially during this period when Americans are watching our cities explode with protests against inhumane structures, police brutality, and even the president giving orders to disperse peaceful protesters with tear gas and rubber bullets. I recommend this book to those who feel confused by the protests that we are experiencing across the nation in this late spring and early summer 2020. And I recommend the book even more to those who want to do something concrete to address the wrongs that have lead us to this point. We should have done this work 50 years ago, but maybe we were too fragile at the time.

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  20. FERGG3046

    Whew!!! Well where do I start? God Bless Dr. D’Angelo! My opinion is that several of the sad small comments were as if not more interesting than the book. Many commenters proved your exact point 1000%. I’m confident you have grown solid steel skin. A little about my life as I feel you research running thr3 my veins. I’m a babyboomer of the 50’s. I can relate 100% to your research to the point as if I was the laboratory specimen/rat with tears in the research and development of your book. I was born into a family of successful east coast musicians (son of a DC musical scholar, writer, composer, big band director, former 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and lead trumpeter for Duke Ellington, Cab Callaway, Hal Davis and others and directed band throughout the US) – I was initially introduced to the forces of racism (FOR) at the tender age 10 after forced by city zoning law (Color of Law) to integrate into a all white school at the 5th grade; where I could understand the hate toward me but i endured and made stsrting positions on the school’s baseball and football teams but denied membership before the first game and removed from the team due to the Boys Club of _____’s segregation policy; years later forced into a majority white student body high school and played junior and varsity football, wrestled, ran track and offered a sports scholarship. My abilities on the football, track, and wrestling practice sessions were recognized and constantly praised by coaches, however as one of 5 non- white players on my team and non- white humans present in the entire stadium during games causes me or others to never become starters. Later in the military I excelled in physical training, testing, academics GPA and maximum scores on test and marksmanship however the FOR appeared daily for over 20 years of military service from the day of enlistment entrance at the lowest rank in my military speciality field to senior leader on 3 continents and 3 wars leading hundreds of soldiers. I acquited 3 degrees from well known universities during my military career. Subsequently to military retirement the FOR appeared very often over the next 20 as a member of a very well known federal agency representing the US Constitution and Laws. Almost everyday from 1993 to 2016 I was reminded of FOR. I am happy to have had the pleasure and blessings to have read and shared this research phenomenon with my love ones of several races. I’m blessed to have a very diverse circle of family and friends throughout the US, Europe, Asia, and Africa. Dr D’Angelo I feel the blood and tears through my veins in your words and Youtube video. It took me back to the ability to recall and see the named and faced of hatreds since my first experience in 1965. Since Linda Hervieux’s book about the untold story of the black soldiers of D-Day Invasion of WWII that acknowledged my father, uncles, and their friends of stories in my home of their WWII experiences, discrimination and pain when I was of 5th grade aged which I didn’t understand and they were in their 50s and 60s. I now understand your maxtrix of the system the Forefathers, William Lynch and others established institutional structures during the infancy through The Reconstruction of America. I’m a proud father and grandfather who’s often asked questions by my children about my military and law enforcement career. I often tell them “I was a proud soldier. Not because of the 52 medals and awards listed on my DD-214 or hung on my walls; but I was that which many did not want to be. A Soldier, born and raised as an American. Your and Linda’s covers a legacy of the men and women in my family’s history from 1919 until today. Thank you and may God Bless you and your family. Thank you for your service. You and Linda deserve the Medal of Freedom for you many years of research to make this world a better place. You’re a decorated soldier. My weapon was weapons of war. Your is you mind and intellect (Ph’d.) Thank you Doctor. You are a HERO!!!

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  21. EthanEthan

    This year marks the ninth in which I plan to read and review a book a week. Over the years, I’ve been fortunate to read so many great books, meet other book lovers, and learn about the community at large. A new year also gives me the opportunity to reflect on my past and plan for my future. 2020 was a historic year for many reasons, but one thing that is undeniable is that for many this was the beginning of a national reconning with the ugly truth of systemic racism and police brutality. The horrific murders of Geroge Floyd and Breonna Taylor, to name just a few, sparked much-needed conversations and calls to action. When a co-worker recommended I read Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility, a book meant to help white people come to terms with their place in a system built upon racial inequity, I knew it would be a valuable resource in continuing my own journey toward becoming a more effective ally. I read the book last year but decided a re-read would be an appropriate way to begin this new year of blogging and reviewing.Before reading this book, I considered myself to be fairly in touch with the imbalance built into our country. I’ve noticed the times when I was afforded opportunities that were only available to me as a white man. I’ve had open conversations with friends and co-workers about how their experiences differ from mine, and those conversations helped me to see a perspective that I was blind to. DiAngelo, a white woman herself, presented topics that further dismantled my existing perceptions around race and helped me to see things in a more well-rounded way. Here’s the thing, even as someone conscious of the differences in society for people of different ethnicities, I was still complicit in perpetuating those same systems that I recognized as wrong. It is difficult for anyone to admit that they have perpetuated systemic racism, but it is undeniable that I’ve been complicit in this very system.In terms of my own reading, I was shocked to realize how inequitable the entire publishing industry truly is. As someone who publishes a review of a book each week, I feel that I bear a responsibility to consume and present reviews of diverse stories from diverse storytellers. I read 52 books in 2020, and only 4 of those were written by a BIPOC author. Simply put, that is not good enough. White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo asks us to not only recognize our place in systemic racism but to actively take action to fight against it. However small my impact in the larger book community may be, I feel moved to do more, share more, and continue learning more. Each month this year, I will resolve to read and review at least one book by a BIPOC author. This small goal on top of my annual reading goal will serve to broaden my perspective while sharing a wider variety of authors and stories. I may not be able to change the publishing industry as a whole, but I can certainly impact the kind of books that I choose to read and share here on A Book A Week. Happy New Year and happy reading!

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  22. ReadingLateGal

    Wow! I believe that this nook should be required reading in EVERY high school! No option to “opt-out” because the subject matter is too heavy/controversial!?! Which often happens, to those that want to keep their heads “buried in the sand”!It was so many quotes that I agreed with or heard a White person use. But this is one I connected with the most…”Racism is complex and nuanced, and its manifestations are not the same for every group of color. To challenge the ideologies of racism such as individualism and color blindness, we as white people must suspend our perception of ourselves as unique and/or outside race. Exploring our collective racial identity interrupts a key privilege of dominance—the ability to see oneself only as an individual. We need to discuss white people as a group—even if doing so jars us—in order to disrupt our unracialized identities”.I recommend this book not to make Whites feel bad about themselves, but for them to gain insight about race and how people of color do not have the option to not focus on race because it shapes EVERYTHING!!!

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  23. LagunaLady

    Several of my friends recommended this book to me. I was a little skeptical at first to buy it. But lately with all the riots and protests, I have been feeling really confused about the whole racial issue. I went ahead and got the book. I taught in an all black school for many years and then with many black clients in an HIV clinic in San Francisco for 15 years. I thought that I knew a lot about racism. But this book is a real eye opener. DiAngelo is an excellent writer and she presents a well-thought out overview of what racism really is and what we all need to do to bridge racial tensions and hopefully make this world a better place. She didn’t ever make me feel uncomfortable at all. But she made me realize how, as white people, we have all been raised in a dominant society with many unacknowledged privileges.I highly recommend this book to anyone who is willing to learn and change in order to become a better person and a better ancestor.

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  24. Keith D.

    I’ve read a couple of books trying to figure out what CRT actually is. I think I finally got it thanks to this book. There’s nothing wrong with it.

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  25. Kenneth Woodward

    Dozens of experiences over the past couple of years have brought me to this VERY important work. Dr. DiAngelo has helped me understand my world, and brought clarity to why I view the world as I do. I approached this book expecting my love cup to be chipped, I was wrong, the love cup is in shards at my feet.It is clear Dr. DiAngelo has engaged in the conversation from many angles, as anytime my ego would seek to raise a rebuttal, her writing cut it off at the knees.As a middle-aged, able-bodied, straight, non-obese, white male, American systems are setup to ensure I have encountered the least amount of discrimination of anyone. This book has helped me better understand how these dymanics came to be. However, Dr. DiAngelo does NOT engage in the practice of white-shaming.Dr. DiAngelo is asking the hard questions to ensure I understand the truth about the world in which I live. The throat punches hurt, but I am looking for reality. I have been living in a pristine bubble for too long, oblivious to the lived experience of those that don’t share my same characteristics.Highly recommend this book if you want to understand the American air you breathe and are ready for the reprocussions of having your eyes forced open. If your unwilling to change, pick another book on your wish list; happy reading.

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  26. Kristen W.

    If only we could get the entirety of white America to read this book. I am white, and have been trying to verbalize my feelings and thoughts since George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis. This is exactly what I needed to help see the right people’s perspectives (people of color are the only ones with legitimate opinions in this subject – don’t say “no” yet, that’s your fragility coming out). It will help set you on a lifetime path of continued learning and where and how to help fight the ingrained racism that we all grew up with (and no, you can’t say that you didn’t grow up with racism until after you’ve read the book). I’m going to try to have it added to my high schooler’s US History or Government curriculum. It belongs in all schools, businesses, and government agencies and should be discussed in depth – not just glossed over as another “to-do”.

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  27. Shannon

    The harsh criticism of “White Fragility” is disheartening but not surprising because the responses speak to how very necessary confronting the issue is. First, know, if being white resonates with you then you are going to feel uncomfortable at some point in the book but it’s what you do with the unpleasantness that matters. Don’t fall for the dichotomous good versus bad feeling aligned with racism because the natural instinct is self- preservation and each time we safeguard self the insidious nature of discrimination persists. Robin DiAngelo, through her work, is providing light to a path out of the darkness and hideous misdeeds of the past but one book cannot solve it all. We are required to show up each day and examine ourselves.

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  28. KA – Nana

    This book is so important for all “white” people to read. Most will not which is why it is so needed!!It says things that are true and will make one search how things have contributed to relationships with other persons of color. Getting defensive is one thing we do best!!!

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  29. Amazon Customer

    I am in a book club, and we have been going through different books on anti racism. White Fragility was so insightful! It is convicting, she doesn’t pull punches because she knows how important it is to know! And for us as White people to hear.

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  30. nolabarrier

    Purchased the audible version years ago, my husband wanted to read, but did not want the read the digital version; hence, I had to purchase again.Excellent book. Great book for a diverse bookclub discussion.

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  31. Karen D. Jennings

    This was a difficult book for me to read and I know that for my White friends ( AND I DO Mean friends who are White), this book was /is earth shattering. We read this as part of a Just Faith group. If you the reader cannot see past your privileges’ and realize that people of color are just like you, except we face fear and faced this all of our entire lives and through out generations., Has never been question of any “extra rights or anything taken away from the Constitution, just want the rights that all citizens have. This is a book that you will need to have a frank and honest look and discussion with all within your circle and see the direction to go ( if you can see past privileges and work for justice.

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  32. Brianna Brown

    This was a hard book to read. I was uncomfortable the entire time, except for brief moments where I could point to examples of racism and say, “well at least I was raised better than THAT,” and then go back to racial stress, a term I learned while reading this book. I admit I took many long breaks from this book. I would read until I couldn’t handle the discomfort anymore, and then stop thinking about it until I felt ready to jump back in. I learned so much and I am so grateful for that. I have some questions, and I’m excited to find the answers to those as well as learn more. Overall this book was empowering in that it gave me a starting point for addressing my own behavior, as well as a much better understanding of what racism is and how it manifests in my daily life.

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  33. PG13

    When I purchased this book I was expecting a tongue lashing against the system by a disgruntled person. I was ready to face the wrath as I opened the first page. After all that is what we have come to expect from all quarters today; wild accusations all around. As I dug deeper into the book I understood that that approach itself was a defensive mechanism. In any case, this book and advice is for others. The actual racists. Not me.The author explains how it is not an individual attitude or action to the system that is significant because the system itself is biased and we are just the actors on that grand stage. How can then we not be re-learning, evaluate, and have a second take of what we know? Rather than me remake the argument that the author had so clearly presented in the book, I will let you be the judge for yourself.People in the media, business owners, business executives, leaders, teachers, people of influence, people in the corporate world, … in general, everyone should read this book. After all we live in the society and knowing an important aspect of the society is, well, important.

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  34. Carrie Corbin

    I read the book

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  35. Vickie

    Many Kudos to Mrs. Robin Diangelo for having the courage to provide us with a well written book about the truth of racism in America. It’s DEFINITELY a challenging topic to conceptualize; however, she was “point on” in her assessment. This book is a “MUST READ” for ALL White people, and we, as African Americans, would benefit from her wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and experiences that she so graciously shared. Mrs. Diangelo is very transparent and eager to display her personal transformation in hopes that it will spur her White counterparts and America’s racist institutions to effectively address and ameliorate racism on a constant and consistent basis. I have the utmost respect for her because she humbled herself despite the ridicule, honestly disclosed a systemic problem that has always plagued this nation, and provided applicable solutions that can be healing and liberating for both Blacks and Whites. Change is inevitable if you read this book with an honest and open heart and mind.

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  36. British5

    This is a very strong and very necessary book which I recommend highly. DiAngelo begins by establishing that the underlying social mechanism is the power that whites hold over people of color, which places racism squarely in the hands of the larger society. By doing so, she ameliorates the tendency towards individual blame and guilt which may be destructive to the process. She also underlines that race is a myth, that it exists only to support the current power structure of supremacy and that it automatically privileges whites over others, eliminating the possibility that ‘merit’ will be used as the true indicator of reasons for success.She then illustrates the way in which ‘white’ is held up as normative, emphasizing the relativity (and therefore the falsehood) of the concept of ‘white.’ She also reemphasizes the fact that wealthy whites, who as a group hold most of society’s power, allow the ‘blame’ for racial problems to fall on the backs of poor whites. She illustrates the way in which wealthy white racism distracts from admission to racism.Importantly, she emphasizes that white racial socialization creates a form of irrational behavior; that is, attempts to maintain this power also segue into an arena which is functionally severed from reality.She shows how white fragility leads to a refusal to engage in the real work of anti-racism and even to passive-aggressive bullying in the form of “Becky” tears.Lastly, Ms. DiAngelo asks white people to solve racism–because it is a problem held by a group of people with social power– with anti-racist work rather than rely on people of color to do the work.Ms. DiAngelo is also humble throughout, even offering some of her own experiences as evidence of her own work and growth, which should make this book all the more palatable.

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  37. Dee Reynolds

    My husband was so engrossed in this book, explained why we suffer with racism today, either it’s not an issue or people play victim to the issue

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  38. joann lyn sellers

    Great book

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  39. Lisa A. Butler

    This book was thought provoking and helped me appreciate that although I have always claimed to be color blind and not a racist, that I actually am. I live in the societal construct that is lead by whites. My silence against the subtle and not so subtle forces at work to reinforce white superiority perpetuates racism in our society. I didn’t realize it lurks under the surface the way it does and how my silence supports it unknowingly. Certainly an eye opener for me that caused me to self reflect on how i can change my personal behavior to break my silence. Really thought provoking.

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  40. Vero

    This book felt like the final missing puzzle piece I had been searching for my whole life. If you have experienced racism or microaggressions at all in your life, this can help you understand why you might have experienced those aggressions.If you’ve ever found yourself arguing with a friend over your personal experiences of race, as a person of color, this may explain why they felt the need to belittle you rather than support you. As a person of color I believed I understood what racism was, but this book expanded by understanding exponentially. By destroying the good and bad binary racism is typically described as laying on, DiAngelo opens opportunities for EVERYONE to assess themselves and their own relations to racism. This book is KEY to destroying systematic racism and discrimination, and if you find yourself wanting to be better when it comes to understanding racism in ALL of its forms, I urge you to read this book.Short enough to get through in a few hours,long enough to help you understand thoroughly how the white experience affects ethnic minorities in several different ways.

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  41. Customer

    One of my favorite books. Very very thoroughly written and concepts are perfectly explained. I know this book has bad reviews so I was slightly hesitant to read but I think people need to take a step back and really do their best to absorb the authors educated perspective. This book brings up important subjects that people so easily become defensive towards. For reference I’m 14 cisgendered girl and mexican American. I loved this book and I will definitely be re-reading.

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  42. Kendra K.Kendra K.

    I’m an ethnically ambiguous looking, bi-racial woman who’s read the book. “White Fragility” helped me understand why honest conversations about race are hard to have going across racial groups. One contributing rationale is the good / bad binary where good people cannot possibly be racist and that to be racist automatically means one is bad. The authors doesn’t say this is true or not true but points it out as a way of thinking that automatically triggers the defensiveness, tears, etc. The book was eye opening. There’s a lot to unpack from the inherent racist socialization that occurs by virtue of living In society…. The experiments mentioned with children and adolescents demonstrating whether racial preferences were adopted….I read this with curiosity and an open mind to see if I could learn something new and or useful, and I did.

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  43. Blkmnrisn1

    A surprisingly insightful and refreshingly honest examination of a dynamic that has remained hidden in the shadows for far too long. All I can say is thank you for your ability to be forthright, truthful & courageous enough to say what needed to be said, particularly in light of the current state of race relations in this country.

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  44. Steffany

    I am a white 29y.o. female who grew up and is still apart of of majority white evangelical circles, so I am going to write this review mostly to others who align themselves with the Bible (evangelical or otherwise).It seems one of the major issues people have with this book is that it states white people are all racist and that we will have to fight racism until the day we die (paraphrasing). I have found through conversation that many white christians have this same hold up during conversations about racism. The hold up of accepting or admitting to contributing to racism and or benefiting from racism.This hold up baffles me in the Church, because we believe the Gospel that at its core says we are all sinners, in need of a savior, that we will never totally be rid of our sinful hearts, actions, and thoughts until we reach heaven. Any Christian who claims perfection or perhaps prides themselves for being less “sinful” than others is missing the crux of the gospel. Someone once said to me… “I use to think becoming more righteous means becoming a better person, but now I realize becoming more righteous means becoming more aware of the depths of your sin.” and when I heard that something clicked in me… and it brought a freedom Im not sure I felt before. Because the myth that feeling loved and accepted by someone means them overlooking or not seeing all of your flaws and filth will cause you to run in the circle of contractual love your whole life, even if the only person you run that circle with is yourself. However, a love that sees all of your flaws and filth and loves you despite your true self, is the love that God provides.As Christians, we should not be offended, alarmed, or defensive of someone saying at our core we are sinful (racism being one of those sins) because we must already believe that is true in order to be in submission to God.I know the author of this book is not a Christian (stated by herself, I’m not making a judgement call here so don’t get all mad) but as a christian I highly recommend reading this book and embracing the conviction it brings because conviction is not meant to leave you in shame, guilt, and despair, It is meant to lead you to the mercy and beautiful story of Christ’s work on the cross.

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  45. Christopher Allen

    Any review I offer on this book simply cannot compete with the following quotes in their statement of the problem and the solution. Read this book.“[S]topping our racist patterns must be more important than working to convince others that we don’t have them. We do have them, and people of color already know we have them; our efforts to prove otherwise are not convincing.”“An antidote to white fragility is to build up our stamina to bear witness to the pain of racism that we cause, not to impose conditions that require people of color to continually validate our denial.”“How, where, and when you give me feedback is irrelevant—it is the feedback I want and need. Understanding that it is hard to give, I will take it any way I can get it. From my position of social, cultural, and institutional white power and privilege, I am perfectly safe and can handle it. If I cannot handle it, it’s on me to build my racial stamina.”“Because racism does not rely solely on individual actors, the racist system is reproduced automatically. To interrupt it, we need to recognize and challenge the norms, structures, and institutions that keep it in place. But because they benefit us, racially inequitable relations are comfortable for most white people.”“Racism hurts (even kills) people of color 24-7. Interrupting it is more important than my feelings, ego, or self-image.”

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  46. Amazon Customer

    White fragility is a page turner. Reading this book was cathartic. It reminded me that our society informs our thoughts and perceptions in race. Our unconscious biases come from somewhere. And that somewhere is the inescapable torrent of societal messages we’ve received our entire lives.Our country’s disturbing history with race relations still impacts our thinking, choices, and policies today in a way that benefits whites over people of color.I’ve recommended this book to colleagues, friends, and clients and included it in my executive leadership development program as required reading.If you truly want to be an ally and anti-racist read this book it will be enlightening, uncomfortable, and challenging but that’s what any authentic dive into racial discussions and understanding will be.

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  47. gail

    Adds a new level of awareness to racism.

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  48. Eric Holloway

    i originally bought this book to see what all the fuss about critical race theory is abouti expected the author to make a bunch of outlandish and extreme claims without justification. to some extent i think that happened, in particular with the lee atwater quote being misinterpreted. he is actually saying the opposite to what the author claimsbut overall, based on my experience as a wasp turned catholic, i have to say i agree with her main thesis and many observationswe do have a culture of white supremacy that is subtly enforced through science, religion, popular culture, and social organizationjust look at the aryan jesus everywhere and images of neolithic man everywhere. the implicit message is quite obvious. or the black sidekick that gets killed all the time. or the placement of all the planned parenthood facilities (just read margerate sanger writings to learn the real purpose of planned parenthood)additionally the author is spot on regarding the duality of white fragility weilding great power. so many white people around me crumble when their worldview is challenged, especially upper class white people, yet they run the worldand the author’s recommendations are spot onwe need to have tough discussions about real topics, perioddiscussing the white supremacy within us is essential, instead of a club to beat the other white people we don’t like

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  49. B

    So I do want to say that I thought the book is interesting. I purchased this book not knowing anything about it. It was recommended to me by a friend, and I was told to have an open mind before sitting down to read.So in my opinion, it Depends upon who you are, and what political stance you have If you will like this book or not. I won’t spoil the book for you but I think everyone who reads this with an open mind can learn something, and see things from a different point of view. The author makes some interesting points that might make you think about things differently. Some things you may have not experienced or even though about (again don’t want to spoil the book for anyone who wants to read it). All in all I think it is a good read for anyone with an open mind wanting to learn something.

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  50. blc2009

    The angry 1 star reviews do nothing but solidify every point the author makes in this book. Just like grading a middle school book report, you can tell straight away from the majority of these reviews who did and did not read the book. Those that were able to “chin up, buttercup”-it past the title were undoubtedly rewarded with a banquet of never truer information the same way I was. To say this book was eye opening is a gross understatement as this book has quite literally changed my worldview and perception. To echo other reviewers- this book needs to be required reading for every student. This book needs to be required reading for every teacher. Every medical professional. Every law enforcement officer. Every judge. Every attorney. Every parent. Every grandparent. Every person of every single color worldwide. This book is extraordinary helpful and can benefit people of color just as much as white people. This book shines a flood light on the prejudice and bias we all have and no one wants to admit (yes, not just white people). Asian people, Hispanic people, Jewish people, African American people, White people – literally every citizen can benefit from this book. This book left me feeling physically dazed at some points as she was hitting me with unarticulated truth bombs left and right. I am NOT kidding if you haven’t read or listened to this book yet do yourself and your community a favor by giving it a chance.

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  51. VV

    I am half way through and I think this is an important book. Really does bring into focus the social economic structures and how white people benefit from them. I puzzled over why she called the book “White Fragility” as to me it was a social/economic review. That was before I try talking about the book to other white people. Now I can see why she named it “White Fragilty” because the reaction of some people (including some I thought were fairly open minded) was astounding. Even more so because the most vocal “haters” of the subject were people who hadn’t even read the book.All in all, I think it’s an eye opening book and I wish more people would take the time to read it.

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  52. Alyssa White

    The most valuable part of this book in my opinion was its ability to be blunt with the reader. Using kid gloves when it comes to hard topics sometimes prevents true understanding. To properly grasp the concept of white fragility, the reader must confront the ways they have made mistakes in the past when it comes to race and privilege. This book taught me to see things from a whole new perspective that I would have never considered before. It also points out the importance of continuing to educate yourself because it’s truly up to nobody but you to learn about these big topics to help our society break the cycle of racism and inequality.

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  53. Stephanie W.B.

    This book calls to attention my ignorance about racism. As a white American, I’ve been raised in a society where white supremacy is so ingrained to my understanding of the world I inhabit, that although I may be aware of racism, I am likely unaware of my own culpability. When I am informed of my actions or behaviors that perpetuate a white supremist society, my response is often one of defensiveness, anger, withdrawal, a sense of victimization, justification, or rejection of the information I am provided with. These responses are a result of my own white fragility, and are apart of the Western white supremist culture that I’ve grown up in and that I live. It is my responsibility to educate myself, to challenge myself, to discomfort myself in an effort to be as an individual less racist and take a step in the direction of a less white supremist society. Often we are taught to see racism ads a dichotomy: racism is bad, not racist is good. Racism is bad, but often times people with good intentions are not aware their actions have racist effects. And people who genuinely want to embrace an anti racist society need to be informed when they are operating in a racist way. This means losing the white fragility that our society has produced.I was very interested in DiAngelo’s perspective of white progressives. (As I define myself as a progressive and am white, this book and especially this part of the book was helpful to me. Dingell believes white progressives are often the least aware of their racism and also the least receptive to really being challenged about their racism. I found this directness extremely helpful. DiAngelo provides specific examples when teaching about white fragility and how white fragility is so damaging to people of color and to achieving a more equal society.People of color, especially Black people, have been striving and fighting for a more racially just society for decades. Most often, they’ve fought while their own survival is imperiled because of the long-standing belief in white supremacy, generally because it was in the economic interest of whites to keep other races, especially black people, enslaved, in servitude, or otherwise subservient to whites. The pattern of history and is entrenched. If as white people, we truly want to learn anti racism, we need to begin with harsh truths about ourselves. I’ve read many books about racism and anti racism, but this book stands out in its direct instructions and information about where white people can and should realistically begin examining their own white fragility.

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  54. Kindle Customer Judy

    I came to this book out of the aftermath of the George Floyd murder and the flurry of others that surrounded it. The sense of urgency this created was intensified by exposure to the PBS series “America after Reconstruction”, and the films and books Just Mercy, Brian Banks, When They See Us and even the Green Book amid others. The result has been an overwhelming sense of ignorance about the extent of the injustice and my profound ignorance about the past. How could I be the product of a high quality secondary and collegiate education and not know about Tulsa and Memphis, and Henderson; the details of response to reconstruction efforts and the rise of Klan terror and redlining and on and on. Then I got introduced to the premises of White Privilege, and saw my entire 70 decade life reflected there.Exhausted and ashamed at my bubble and the complacency it produced I came to this book with a group of friends. As the author challenges the white world to understand that “just treating everyone the same” is NO answer to systemic racism and indeed protects and defends it. Look at the reviews to any of the current books on race and you’ll see all of her premises validated – the anger, outrage, denial, anguish and on and on. We truly are fragile in the face of proof of our racism. I am still wrestling with the message about the pervasiveness, persistence, and endurance of racism but if you simply come away with the understanding that simply Wanting not to be racist is not enough, and accepting that progress is a lifelong commitment to seek, listen to and accept feedback about our own racism – then your time spent with this book is a good investment.

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  55. S. Allen

    So glad I was recommended this book. It’s a tough read and an uncomfortable thing to consider – that all of us white people are racist. I certainly don’t want to be. I feel after years of trying to sidestep the issue of racism, I now have the beginning tools to actually make progress for myself.

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  56. Peter

    I can’t begin to say how much this book has changed my way of thinking and redefining the way I perceive and have been taught about my own insecurities and the idea that white people need to wake up. The author challenges us to revisit prejudiced ideas that remain deep in our past learned history lessons. If you allow yourself to open up and be vulnerable you will have much to gain in self awareness. This book has propelled me into reading other related books and participate in lectures which, again, has allowed me to receive and develop a renewed understanding and compassion for systematically disenfranchised people as well as appreciate the idea that I exist in a white privileged society. This book is a guide to being the change I would hope we all want to see in our future, however naive that may sound.

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  57. William Capodanno

    This book systematically lays out a devastatingly uncomfortable reality for anybody who is white (I am). Race is the single defining characteristic of this country from its inception through today. “White Fragility” demands that you to confront that reality, the systemic and institutional racism that are at the core of our society, built upon the premise white supremacy and superiority, and over hundreds of years so deeply embedded in America’s power structure. One need only look at all structures of power in America and whiteness is the dominant characteristic. As is clear from historical struggles, no structure of power willing cedes it.I appreciate DiAngelo shifting the focus away from racial prejudice, individual acts of racial bias and hatred, to maintain a focus on institutions, white reaction to that methodical systemic assault (while there are plenty of individual acts of hatred, spurred by leaders openly and not so subtly inciting them now), most people reject individual acts of hatred. It is the unconscious biases and systemic critiques that break the fragile white psyche, elicit all the defense mechanisms that are best described and showcased in “White Fragility”. Our inability to confront racism with self-awareness and openness, admit that it is systemic and creates privileges that are omni-present lies at the center of our inability to break the yoke it has on our country and the devastating economic, educational and health impacts it has on communities of color.It is clear that many of the negative views and 1 star reviews are those most exhibiting white fragility.

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  58. Orly

    The author definitely went against code when compiling this guidebook. I count this as a visceral written “repentance” from denial. A fly on the wall, tell all.For me it was like reading a dystopian sci-fi (but it’s really a descriptive analysis). If you enjoyed the film ‘Get Out’, Paula Rothenberg’s ‘White Privilege’ or W.E.B. Dubios ‘The Souls of Black Folk’ this is a must read and potentially a must add to your library.This book is part of an insurrection against “white” supremacy (albeit a delusional supremacy), and the institution of privilege. A big snub to the “white” solidarity that keeps the blatant obfuscation of it’s, attrition, demoralization and denial spinning.

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  59. Reid McCormick

    As I sit to write this review, I’ll be honest, I am a bit anxious. But why? Why am I so hesitant? I really enjoyed this book. The book has a lot of truth. It has a lot authority and weight. It is interesting as I prepared to write this review, I can feel my white fragility. I am nearly paralyzed by fear; fear that I will say the wrong thing, fear that I will accidentally write something insensitive or prejudice without even knowing it. My gut reaction is to be overly vague and pleasant in hopes that my words are unmemorable. This is just a symptom of my fragility.I am a white male. I have grown up in a culture that benefits white males basically because the culture was created by white males and it has been maintained by white males. Racism (and sexism) is built into the system. It is very difficult to see this from the white male perspective because it is so extensive, it is like recognizing your asleep while still asleep. Furthermore, white males do not see the racism around them because there is little reason to. White males do not benefit from recognizing racism and if they do recognize it, they don’t call it out because there are little to no immediate benefits in doing so.For a rather short book, there is a lot in here. Even though I have tried to educate myself on diversity over the past dozen years or so, there is still a lot for me to learn. In the book, Robin Diangelo shares how white people typically respond to conversations on racism, and I am pretty sure I have employed each of these stereotypical white declarations from “everyone is equal, I don’t think about people in color” to “my black friend says…”Even as I read this book, my defenses kept popping up suddenly. My gut would react unexpectedly and I would have to stop and let my brain catch up. I definitely had an internal struggle inside me, a struggle I am embarrassed to admit. I have to remind myself, that this internal struggle is a luxury, or at the very least, I am allowed to have this struggle in a comfortable environment. This is not a position many get to experience.I think this is a great book. I highly recommend it.Here are some valuable nuggets from this book.“The decisions made at those tables affect the lives of those not at the tables. Exclusion by those at the table doesn’t depend on willful intent; we don’t have to intend to exclude for the results of our actions to be exclusion.”“We come to understand who we are by understanding who we are not. But because of our society’s emphasis on individuality, many of us are unskilled at reflecting on our group memberships.”“Setting aside your sense of uniqueness is a critical skill that will allow you to see the big picture of the society in which we live.”“All humans have prejudice; we cannot avoid it…People who claim not to be prejudice are demonstrating a profound lack of self awareness.”

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  60. Sonja

    I am giving this review based on my own opinion. Keep an open mind as you read each chapter of this book. If you are the type of person that can embrace learning and understanding, you may enjoy this book. I have enjoyed reading this book.

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  61. Steve Fey

    A racist, if you’re white. The good news is that this does not mean that you’re a bad person. Every white person is raised in so many subtle and non-subtle ways to benefit from racism that there’s no way you can’t be. I wish I weren’t, but so it goes. As a kid with ADHD, I was lucky enough to miss some of the subtle toppings that most people get from socialization, so I’ve known for years that something was amiss. I couldn’t figure out just what it was, but I knew it was big, and serious. Thanks to Ms. Diangelo’s book, now I know. I don’t like it, but I know it’s true. And if it’s true, I’ll take it. Some of the early going bothered me, then something switched on or off and what bothers me is my reaction to other people. It’s BS, to be honest, and I hate BS, but it’s the way it is in America. An excellent book, one that every white person should read until they understand it.By the way, please call me an Anglo. Heck of a lot less baggage in that word, and maybe it’ll help me recover.

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  62. John M. DeMarco

    “We might think of whiteness as all the aspects of being white,” Robin DiAngelo writes, “aspects that go beyond mere physical differences and are related to the meaning and resultant material advantage of being defined as white in society: what is granted and how it is granted based on that meaning. Instead of the typical focus on how racism hurts people of color, to examine whiteness is to focus on how racism elevates white people.”Slowly waking up from the hazy dream of white privilege feels like catching a ride share into a strange, unfamiliar city, wearing a backpack filled with tools you didn’t know existed and are clueless on how to use, absent any type of instruction manual.Through her book White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard to Talk to White People About Race (Beacon Press, 2018), DiAngelo, a consultant and trainer on racial and social justice issues for more than 20 years, serves as both the ride share driver and the manual. DiAngelo meets white people such as myself where we’re at: infected by racism while unaware of the symptoms, mostly blind to the privileges we didn’t know we had even while leveraging them and benefiting from them each day, and she skillfully nudges us into increasing discomfort while revealing that comfort itself is highly overrated and ignorance is anything but bliss.DiAngelo provides context for both the origins of white supremacy and how it has continued to adapt and manifest throughout crucial milestones in our country’s history. She exposes common white thinking errors such as the “good people/bad people binary,” and gives real examples, from her work, of racial triggers for white people and what white fragility looks like in action.Most importantly, DiAngelo offers those tools in the context of how to use them, with detail and specificity. One partial example, offered late in the book after the author has helped white readers prepare to think, act, and talk differently in this strange, new city, is how to respond with openness and humility when receiving feedback that our words or actions created pain or discomfort for a person of color:“I appreciate this feedback.”“This is very helpful.”“It’s my responsibility to resist defensiveness.”“This is hard, but also stimulating and important.”

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  63. Urban Essence Bath & Body products

    This book should be required a reading.The lesson taught are lessons to live by. Just the mere ability to get white people to understand our point of view is extremely difficult. Therefore, most relationships (not all) between black and white people are rarely authentic and the relationships are not deep and meaningful.

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  64. Eric J. Van Winkle

    I had to buy this book for a class and initially I was kind of nervous about it. I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to feel about the topic or if it was really going to change my outlook on life or anything like that. Sometimes I end up buying books like this for class but not really gaining anything from it. This book was different though. I wouldn’t say I agree with every single thing the author had to say, but it gave me a lot of insight and made me better understand a lot of the “logic” behind prejudice/discrimination.Whether this book sends a message that you agree with or not, I would recommend giving it a read. This was probably the only book I bought for college that I actually ended up wanting to read and analyze.

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  65. Donna McFadden

    I was surprised that this book has only a 4 star review. It is quite accurate and ground breaking.I read through the 1 star comments to see if I had missed something and to possibly gain a different perspective. It seems to me that most of the 1 star reviews reveal exactly what the author is talking about: the sensitivity and defensiveness of white people to discuss our role in upholding a racist society.One of the most helpful premises the book puts forth is the idea that racism isn’t just deliberate, despicable acts perpetrated my immoral people, but the ability to function well and benefit from a system that holds down people of color and not challenge the system or our role in upholding it.This book should be required reading for every white person. If you can read it with an open mind and the ability to drop your defensiveness, there is much to be learned.

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  66. Alithia

    This movement isn’t necessarily about dismantling an American “ism” – it does however, indicate that some individuals can change courses and improve the quality of life for yourself. The price of racism is becoming to high a price to pay. I’m sure the consumers of this book have been called out and made to account or (I doubt it tho) are seeing what happens to others like them being called to account. I mean common ethics say treat ppl with dignity unless of course, that person is not white, but if you are incapable of that basic human dignity, we can loud you out and dismantle your life. You may wanna read this book. Preserve yourself, because non-whites believe in self preservation too.

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  67. Joe Pote

    I had heard quite a bit about this book, both positive and negative. I decided I needed to read it for myself, both to educate myself on the topic of systemic racism and to form my own opinion of the book.I found the book to be both challenging and enlightening. The author definitely challenges white readers to change our perspective on systemic racism in America and the role we play in that system.In reading the first half of the book, I was troubled a bit by DiAngelo’s terminology and word usage. She uses terms such as “racism” and “white supremacy” differently from their more common usages. She is careful to explain her usage and definitions. However, it still took a bit of getting used to.I was also a bit troubled that her terminology seems intended to make her primary intended audience, white Americans, uncomfortable. However, by the time I finished the book I realized DiAngelo does this on purpose because she sees discomfort as an essential step for most white Americans to begin changing our racial paradigm and begin developing stamina for discussing racial topics without reverting to familiar defensive tactics.Reading this book also helped me better understand some past conversations I found confusing. It is always easier to communicate when all participants understand the terminology being used.I feel I also have a better understanding of some of the harsh critiques of this book. Not only is the book intentionally uncomfortable for most white Americans to read, but it also uses terminology differently from common usages. The result is it would be really easy for a reader to take offense… and equally easy to grab a quote out of context that comes across as having a completely different meaning from the author’s intent.Now for some discussion of what the book does not do:1. It does not promote a socialist agenda.2. It does not advocate for financial reparations.3. It does not mention the phrase “Critical Race Theory.”4. It makes no mention whatsoever of capitalism.5. It is neither un-American nor anti-American.6. It is not opposed to sound Christian doctrine, nor to the Gospel, nor to the Bible.7. It is not divisive.8. It does not seek to make white Americans feel guilty for things done by our ancestors.On the contrary, the whole point of the book is to help white Americans better understand systemic racism and our role in that system, so we can begin to learn to do better at a personal level. I found the message of this book quite compatible with the commandment of Jesus Christ to love others as He has loved us.DiAngelo displays both humility and hope in how she shares personal stories of her own experiences and struggles.DiAngelo is an educator by profession. Her book is very educational. And her vision for reducing inequities of systemic racism is through education.I highly recommend this book to anyone (especially white Americans) who would like to learn more about systemic racism and our roles in those systems, as well as how we can begin to do better.I would caution any white reader to read this book with a teachable attitude, prepared to learn. If approached from a position of arrogance, you will likely just come away frustrated and angry.

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  68. JoJo

    This is a book to help open your mind. But if it’s too hard of a read, try “The Help” or books by Richard Wright or Baldwin and ask yourself if YOU would change places with a black person. I realized as I read a Wright book many years ago that behavior was dictated by the “winners” — white males.If a black person didn’t keep their eyes down, shuffle a little and speak slow n low, they might get attacked and killed.By analogy, If a white woman violated “lady like” or “virgin”, she could be attacked and raped. It was ALWAYS her faultBehavior seems to NOT be innate, but calculated to “win” against the oppressors.How do YOU behave in response to your color, your gender, your disabilities? Are you in oppressor-mode and trying to hang onto your unearned “rights” or are you in oppressed-mode and finally feel empowered?

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  69. Larry M. Dyer

    Mandatory reading for us white folks who say equity is one of our values. A personal transformative book. Excellent, excellent !

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  70. Danielle Beckmann

    This book changed my life. I am now more aware of the potential harms that I might cause on my Black brothers and sisters on a daily basis. I am now more aware of systemic racism. I am now more aware of my definsiveness and how that is not helpful to creating a better world. I am now more aware that centering myself as a white person is not what we need right now, but we need to amplify black voices. We need to level the playing field and invite Black people into places of leadership and authority. I am very saddened and disgusted by some of the reviews of this book here on Amazon. Shame on you who speak ill of this book. This book is a bridge to change, so get on the right side of history, people.

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  71. Katherine W. Kehrli

    I leave my reading with more questions than answers. I think that is what the author has told me, I need to find the answers myself in order to become the better person I choose to be. There is no silver bullet here, and only honest, painful self introspection will help me find answers. The brutal honesty makes her work all the more impactful.

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  72. Stephen Manos

    There are a lot of ways that I found this book to be helpful and necessary, especially today. The most important area for me was to understand how I need to reframe racism in the context of a white, Western European-developed worldview. White fragility is an extension of white supremacy in a white dominated world. As a white person, I cannot simply excuse it, deem it settled, nor find a binary result. Rather, in being a part of this inculcated belief structure, I must remember that I am on a long journey toward improving my stamina with receiving feedback about my white fragility and racist comments, behaviors, and beliefs. That stamina has to get used to understanding my emotions about this reality and finding the strength to take action to simply do better. I believe that this will be a book that I return to again and again for reinforcing the things I need to change to help me work toward antiracism. I highly recommend it.

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  73. Judy Clay

    Must reading for all white people and POC who want to understand why white people no matter how well meaning contribute to the systemic racism that prevails today. DiAngelo is a diversity trainer and is not shy about her journey and misconceptions that have formed her as a 21st century white woman.The book is not weighed down in academic blathering. DiAngelo writes for her audience.It’s an eye opener for all people.This work was first published in 2018, it could not be more timely today.The book is not anti-white as some ill informed critics have suggested. It is holding a mirror up to white people so that we all can do better. It’s also a great book for POC to read to get a better grasp on issues that are gray.There is no devil here. Just humanity and how we were raised.It’s a terrific read. You won’t regret it.

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  74. Sean O’Brien

    This is a difficult, bold, and important book. It is a jumping-off point, it is a beginning. If you are considering reading this book, do it. Do it for yourself and do it for a better society.Look closely at the negative reviews of this book. Each one is imbued with the exact fragility that DiAngelo is trying to wake us up to.Read this book with as open a mind as you can. Be ready to be self-reflective. Be ready to challenge what you were taught- both consciously and subconsciously.

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  75. Pen & SwordPen & Sword

    As a minority that grew up in a diverse but pred. white neighborhood, I was curious to see if Robin DiAngelo would hit on the fears and insecurities that I have grown up with, such as bringing up the issues of race to my closest white friends or having to tolerate racist jokes to avoid being the “party pooper” of the group.She hit EVERY👏🏽NAIL👏🏽ON THE👏🏽HEAD!She is very well researched, experienced, and I can tell she has reached out to many people for the writing on this book. She has a genuine want to see the betterment of society and backs up every chapter with experience from either herself or what she has noticed on the topics of race.* This is by far the best socially conscious book of the year and is an essential read.Unfortunately…I fear many who need to read this book will be too afraid to even look at it.

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  76. Amazon Customer

    This work has profoundly impacted my self awareness, allowing me to move away from a constricted, paralyzing fear of saying and doing the wrong thing towards (however gradually) the freedom of taking responsibility for my biases, assumptions and lack of awarenessess about racism in my own life. It is a very challenging read, it steps all over my fragile white toes and I am grateful for it. I have had to gulp hard and press through the embarrassment of seeing myself in many of the examples DiAngelo shares. It has taken me several weeks and multiple ‘re-reading whole chapters to absorb the rich content. I have some work, probably A LOT of work, to do. But I feel hopeful I can use these tools to grow. Originally I borrowed it from the library but bought my own copy because I know I will be reading and ‘re visiting this powerful book.

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  77. Richard J. Leis

    “White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism” by Robin DiAngelo is only one book covering only one aspect of racism. One book, one day of antiracist education, one week, one month, one year are not going to be enough. But this book is a great place for White people to start, learn a little humility, and start building stamina for grappling with race and racism. I learned a lot while experienced many head-smack moments and moments of shame while reading this short, accessible, blunt, and necessary book:* The difference between “prejudice,” “discrimination,” and “racism”.* Why racism only flows in one direction (and “reverse racism” is nonsensical.)* Why White people react the way they do when engaged about race.* Why White progressive liberals are particularly ignorant of and damaging with their own racist behaviors.* How racism has become more insidious since the 1960s, making “I marched in the 60s” meaningless when confronting today’s issues.* Without diminishing the impact of racism on every person of color, how anti-blackness has been particularly vicious in the United States.* How the United States has exported racism, making white supremacy a global oppressive phenomenon.* How Western ideologies of individualism and objectivity perpetuate racism.

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  78. Glenn A. Cassis

    I enjoy the book because it gave respective that is not readily available.

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  79. L

    Anyone who is watching the news or reading about the civil unrest, protests, and flagrant racism and is feeling that urge to do something, this is a great place to start. I would even call this the foundation of white education (meaning both accepting that being white means something, and as education for white people to start doing better). One of the author’s strengths is in laying out the history that has led the US to where we are now in hand with statistics, percentages, and other facts—all well sourced, in case you ever need to prove to someone where the study came from—all to explain and define what she means.Her other great strength is in the anecdotes; she is forthcoming with her own failures, which as an anxious perfectionist, I appreciate knowing that it is inevitable that we (white people) will make mistakes, but to keep on trying and, just as importantly, HOW to proceed. Knowing that the next time I screw up there are clear steps I can take to do better is helpful (a step-by-step checklist has never been so helpful) along with feelings and behaviors I can look for in myself—all this in addition to the transformative effect of the book has irrevocably changed me.White people: this is the time to reflect and change. Start here (or don’t, there’s plenty of equally quality sources) but start. Now.

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  80. Joelle

    DiAngelo challenges us by stripping away the stigma we attach to words like “white supremacy”, “racism”, and “fragility”; she takes away all the labels and leaves us with the simple truth. By showing how “racism isn’t an event, it’s a system”, the author puts white people squarely in the framework of where we like to deny we live. It is true that it is not my fault I was born white: I had no part in choosing the color of my skin. However, it is also true that I have been born into a system of privilege and supremacy, simply because of the color of my skin. DiAngelo notes that white people have suffered their own INDIVIDUAL trials and battles; she certainly doesn’t negate that you or I may have had a horrific childhood. However, as a WHOLE, there is white privilege, and that is her point: individual testimonials do not cancel out an entire system. Reading this book was not easy, as I have certainly used words like “color blind” to describe myself. I have always decried that I had white privilege because I didn’t attend a fancy college, I paid for my own education and my own car, and I worked as a teenager. We had money troubles as a young teen too. However, looking back now through my adult eyes, I can see the system. I can see my ignorance in my 20’s, when I was positive I was not racist, and that I understood black people. This book is hard reading, because we don’t like being forced out of our comfort zone; we don’t like being forced to admit that our terminology can have other meanings. As 2020 keeps progressing, I will keep asking myself, in all my relationships with POC, “Where can I go from here?”

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  81. Rev. David Price

    I am a white pastor who is a part of a team that fights against racism within the church. Engaged in public education in Christian circles has been a sobering experience as white people hide behind their belief to support their fragility and prejudice. This book provided me with personal insight that I have never before encountered. The insight is that as a white man, I carry racism and the benefits of white privilege with me all the time. This understanding deepens my empathy and awareness when working with others from all social and racial backgrounds. I need to be consciously “less-white” and seek honest feedback from minority groups.If you are interested in reconciliation and peace-making this book is for you. Be brave and look at yourself as you read it. DiAngelo has given the reader an opportunity for personal growth and insight. This book’s insight is a big step toward white maturity and relational peace.

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  82. Mark

    I practically highlighted the entire book. Written by a white woman who leads diversity training workshops, one of its underlying themes is “white progressives cause the most daily damage to people of color.” Given how many books on racism I’ve read, I was shocked how much I learned, how many ideas finally began to sink in, and how many of my viewpoints about my own racial “enlightenment” I need to root out. Simply essential. Excerpt: “The story of Jackie Robinson is a classic example of how whiteness obscures racism by rendering whites, white privilege, and racist institutions invisible. Robinson is often celebrated as the first African American to break the color line and play major-league baseball. While Robinson was certainly an amazing baseball player, this story line depicts him as racially special, a black man who broke the color line himself. The subtext is that Robinson finally had what it took to play with whites, as if no black athlete before him was strong enough to compete at that level. Imagine if instead, the story went something like this: ‘Jackie Robinson, the first black man whites allowed to play major-league baseball.’ This version makes a critical distinction because no matter how fantastic a player Robinson was, he simply could not play in the major league if whites — who controlled the institution — did not allow it. Were he to walk onto the field before being granted permission by white owners and policy makers, the police would have removed him.” Grade: A

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  83. Ingrid Martine, Professionally Certified Coach (PCC)

    This is a liberating book. This book’s biggest contribution is its redefinition of racism . It allows the white reader to breathe a sigh of relief and just get to work to uncover our blind spots. The book is specific with examples of the embedded thinking that drives our racist behaviors, and it invites us to take full responsibility for our racism . We can stop expecting to be rescued by anyone! The author makes a distinction that allows us to shed psychological guilt ( It gives a brilliant assertion of the function of white guilt which keeps racism snugly in place) and allows for the giving and receiving of feedback that make authentic relationships among the races possible. White Fragility is a profoundly hopeful book which can help us become a better people and a stronger country (USA), because it can help us to finally acknowledge the truth of how we built America and why we collude to keep t h e status quo.

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  84. Cinnawinsticks

    When this title was first published, I knew I wasn’t in a place to be open and receptive without the influence of a society hell bent on encouraging reactive discourse. I put it in a media block out list in my head–ignoring both criticism and praise until I did the work I needed to do to give this title my full attention. And I’m really glad I did.This is an unapologetic and straightforward examination on how we, as a white society, continue to uphold racist ideology–intentional or not–and the mechanisms we use to do so. It is well worth the time and serious self reflection in order to honestly confront our own views, encourage open and honest dialog about race, and ability to identify when it happens and the impact.

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  85. Alli McFadd

    My private Facebook Women’s Group of mixed races got this book to do a learning circle around and have discussions. It’s excellent. Know that it’s not an easy read for whites or blacks or other people of color for very different reasons, because of the pain and suffering caused by white denial through the generations. Prepare yourself that when you don’t want to know anymore, take breaks, but keep pushing through and don’t make black people do your work for you. You can do it! We can do this! There are downloadable reading guides for readers and facilitators, in order to do learning circles, which is so helpful. It’s going to take us Whites to overcome and eradicate White Supremacy, White Racism and White privilege over time and in future generations. It starts now. This is not a one and done effort. Dig deep, stand strong in your ability to be open to change, to let go of your programming and allow new ideas to enter. Be compassionate and forgiving with yourself and others for evolution. Educate yourself and others so we can all evolve.

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  86. Avery F

    I’m a white person and this book deeply moved me. I read it twice (once in print and the second time on audio book). Sadly and expectedly my white fragility makes it challenging to learn about my white fragility. And all the more reason to take this work seriously.Two things helped me take in the information in this incredible book: 1) I recently attended a life changing Cultural Somatics workshop by therapist, author, and activist Resmaa Menakem. Robin DiAngelo facilitated a portion of the workshop and getting the chance to learn from her in person was so powerful and extremely helpful 2) listening to the book, or reading it more than once, so I could keep going even when my body was consciously and unconsciously trying to dodge, disbelieve, freeze, fight ect.I feel more in touch with my humanity and the humanity of people of color after reading this book. I also gained a lot of insight into becoming more resilient with racial distress. As a white person in the context of a very white series of school systems, workplaces, and neighborhoods, I hadn’t gained skills to deal with racial distress. This was very evident to me as I was reading, and the sections on letting go of the idea being a “good” or “bad” white person were very helpful in moving through this.I’ve attempted to educate myself on racism and white supremacy in various ways as an adult. Robin DiAngelo’s work and book (in my case, paired with Resmaa Menakem’s Cultural Somatics teaching and book on healing racialized trauma) have been the most effective I’ve found in actually creating change inside myself so I can take action on being an ally to people of color and work towards dismantling white supremacist culture and institutions.

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  87. Amazon Customer

    This book is amazing. It’s a quick read that can be completed in one day but the complexity of the concepts will have you coming back to the book again. Although DiAngelo repeats much of what Black people have been saying since Emancipation, I believe that her positionality as a white woman makes it easier for her to convey her points. I have never heard a white person speak so frankly about issues of race, as too many of my experiences have shown that white people are deeply uncomfortable with the topic. Avoiding the discussion about race doesn’t stop the perpetuation of racism, it just renders it more insidious, and further oppresses people it impacts. DiAngelo digs deep into her examination of societal norms and connects the dots between the reality of our existence in America and the historical legacy that has brought us here. Individuals who are truly committed to the belief that all people are equal will seriously consider the perspectives that Robin DiAngelo offers. P.S. go to robindiangelo.com for information and tools and the author and her work. Peace

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  88. A. Marin

    This was a very good book. While this book is directed towards white people, it is educational even for people of color like myself. Unfortunately, after seeing so much criticism of it on the web, I see that it went right over the heads of the people who need it the most.It’s very sad, because if more people understood the message that DiAngelo is sending and took her advice, we would live in a much better country and finally be able to achieve racial harmony for once.I applaud DiAngelo for breaking the silence on this topic and pointing out certain phenomena that most (especially liberal and “color-blind”) white people are completely blind to that have been obvious to people of color for centuries, but the eyes are blind to what the mind cannot see.If you read this book and felt defensive and angry at DiAngelo instead of having your eyes opened to a few things, then congratulations, you’re part of the problem, and your white fragility is showing….

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  89. Julie Regina

    I was not at all interested in this book at first, because its title “White Fragility” and how it seemed to be baiting. However, the title alone is what stayed with me so, out of curiosity, I sought out to watch the author speak about the book.I don’t consider myself to be “extreme” and I had felt the title implied being more extremist in one’s views, but it doesn’t read that way at all to me. This book really grasps at the interestingly outdated, seemingly built-in, defense system people have when it comes to race.This is a great book if you want to be, or consider yourself to be, racially tolerant. Robin DiAngelo has been facilitating diversity trainings/anti-discrimination for decades and has joined a long-standing uphill battle, even within herself, to address how we casually act in discriminatory ways.She lays out how people seize control of racially-charged situations. It’s a thought provoking, uncomfortable look at what we could be doing ourselves to perpetuate racism, and how casually we do so!It seems unfortunate that the target audience for this book may already be averse to it.

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  90. Fish71

    No one requires you to agree with everything DiAngelo discusses in this book. Honestly, a huge portion of the book makes it clear that in many ways the problem isn’t individual people or overt acts of racism, it’s the SYSTEM that has been rigged, and White people have benefited from that system whether they consciously manipulated it or were somehow ignorant of it. At one point, she writes, “we can’t change what we refuse to see,” and that’s the message I wish many of these 1-star reviewers would reconsider. C’mon, read the book–it’s less than 200 pages and goes fast!–even if just to understand the perspective and maybe have your eyes opened a bit to experiences different from your own, or to a different perspective ON your own experiences. It’s totally worth it–and perhaps necessary–in these times.

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    White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism
    White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism

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