Waking Up White, and Finding Myself in the Story of Race

We white folk take so much for granted. Irving’s learning experience is a fascinating read. At the same time that she judges the system that we have allowed to bias things against people of color, she is not a harsh judge…just hopes people will wake up. On a side note, my nephew is black (Native Americans often count percentage: 1/4, 1/8, etc. but in this country black is black, and few people make any distinction) and he has to face discrimination that I never had to. I know I am fortunate by no efforts of my own. We need to level the proverbial playing field. Very good book.

Learned a lot

I would recommend this book. The author of this book really gives oppurtunities to really think about the way you were raised and how you think about racism. I live way the book has discussion questions at the end of each chapter. It’s a must read and a great book to be read for any book club group.

The book was used for a class offered at my church. It is well written, easy to read with short chapters, and offers some thoughts that none of us had ever given much attention to. Very enlightening.

Unfortunately nearly ALL of us believe we are not racist, but , it seems, without question, we actively promote government leaders and church leaders who continue infectious attitudes and enforce racist policies.

The author makes no bones about the fact that she has had and will have much to learn before her journey of understanding her white self is anywhere near complete. I liked the style and I also appreciate that her voice speaks to us not as “you–gentle reader,” but rather, “Me. And perhaps you too.” Those who write this incredibly personal and fearless author off as someone who is telling us what we already know, or as ‘too paralyzed by her own white guilt’ to teach us anything, are ironically guilty of the exact things she is chiefly discussing. Namely, thinking we know how best others should react to very complex issues of race. She only mildly examines what is going on inside of the heads of those she may have disregarded. She is not, however–afraid to examine what has been going on inside her head all these years. That takes guts and it is what too many of us are uncomfortable doing.

Excellent book, very thought provoking. It was recommended as a good book to read at a workshop I attended on white privilege and overcoming racism. The author writes of her own experience, somewhat different from mine, as a WASP from New England with a long list of ancestors stretching back into the past. She thought she was not racist, that anyone could achieve whatever they wanted. Then, one day, she realized that white is a race too, that it is not just culture or economic class that relates to how well people do. She saw systematic racism in our society and began to dialogue with others of all races to see what one person could do. She points out that for whites like me and others, with more recent immigrant ancestors that we still have the advantage white race gives us..There are relatively short chapters with questions at the end of each to think about. She recommends writing down responses to help the thinking process.The most striking thing I learned was the inequity of the GI bill after World War II which helped so many servicemen get a house and a college education. When Black veterans tried to use it, there were problems with getting a house, and finding a college that would accept them. It wasn’t so equal as I had always thought. Finally she now works and encourages all of us to work at ending racial disparities..

An eye-opening, soul-searching analysis of how we white people contribute to the mess that is racism in our country. Its focus is not on guilt, but on responsibility and response. Most eye-opening to me was how the G.I. Bill after W.W.II contributed to setting up the conditions for segregated residential areas and colleges that are still behind so many of our problems. The author has done the hard work of learning and emotional re-learning to help her understand what is really going on.

Just finished this last night, great book for a new understanding of something that can be hard to discuss. I just finished a communication degree (BS) and there were many discussions of equity, culture, intersectionality, identity, race etc. My last course was intercultural communication. Anyway, I’m relatively up to speed for a middle aged white man, and I thought this book terrific. My children’s school encouraged parents to read this as part of a new book club, so we’ll be discussing it next week. While I personally wasn’t exposed to a lot of new-to-me information in this book, it IS quite consistent with what I’ve learned thus far-and I think goes pretty far to match my understanding after a good bit of attention to the subject in college. With the caveat that the author’s upper-class upbringing may be off-putting to some (push past that – totally worth it) it is very approachable and easy to read. Most chapters are about 15-20 minutes to read and the writing is detailed without seeming academic. I think this book is a great tool, a doorway to knowingness for those of the dominant class in the US to see things that are often invisible, and you can’t change behavior you don’t recognize.BTW, there’s a show “Dear White People” that attempts to tackle this subject that I enjoyed.

I am a 48-year-old white woman enrolled in a doctorate program in Higher Education Leadership. This was required reading for my Diversity & Social Justice course. As a white woman, I appreciated this book. Not only was Ms. Irving very open about her journey, but her insights as to how her upbringing contributed to her experiences helped me. I am much more aware of my white privilege now. Many of the students of color in my class struggled with this book, so I guess it really depends on where you are coming from. I recommend it and wished I’d read it sooner.

There is so much historical background to help explain where our country is today with regard to racial economic and social inequalities. Debby Irving talks about a lot of this history. But she does it as background to explain our (white people’s) current privileged status. Her growing up experiences were very much mine. This book provided the information and insights to help me understand my privilege and how I need to adapt to help create the more diverse, inclusive world I want to live in and that I want for my grandchildren.

The author tells her personal story of awakening to how her growing up in a privileged white community hid white privilege and racism from her. In forty some brief chapters Ms. Irving takes us through her awakening. She takes us through becoming aware of systemic racism, White privilege, White fragility, and the cultural mechanisms for hiding the reality of racism from whites. After each chapter she offers a suggestion for the reader’s personal journaling. The book is a good partner with Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility.

Reading this book has opened me up to area of race that I had denied or was simply unaware of. It is educational, engaging and life changing. I will never be the same!

Excellent, honest and eye-opening book for all individuals in the world to read and help every person know they are valuable and have great worth. People of color deserve equal and rightful benefits and the governments of every country need to change their laws to ensure equality in every area of life.

This book is highly relevant to our current situation regarding racial injustice. Debby Irving’s writing style is so easy to read and she includes deep discussion questions.

This book does more to shed light on the depth of problems in our system that are faced by the African American Community and many communities of color in the US than anything I’ve previously read. as with any book, it is tempting to pick apart some examples, BUT the message is loud and clear. Treating the problems instead of the symptoms is the only path to making meaningful inroads into a system that certainly is and has been “rigged” for way too long. This is a good read for school system administers as well as anyone dealing with race issues in America.

Excellent account of they many ways “White Privilege” is manifested every day, in every way imagined, without people being consciously aware of it.Being able to first acknowledge this fact, is an accomplishment. Beyond that, being willing to share this with the world, through this book, shows great courage, and provides a pathway to an increased understanding of this systemic practice, as it continues today.As a person of color, I don’t expect “White people” to carry the burden of what started long ago. That’s not what I want you to gain from reading this book. I just want you to be able to acknowledge, by God, these things really did happen; they continue to happen today; this is wrong; how can we as a nation change this…together.

I thought I was further along in my journey of understanding racism after 15 years of work. This book opened my eyes to many more of my own behaviors that can be problematic for people of color. Debby Irving’s descriptions of “not wanting to look stupid” or “not wanting to offend”, so just avoiding or keeping quiet when uncomfortable was SO familiar. The thought that schools were a place of fear for many African American parents, such that they didn’t feel comfortable advocating for their children was mind-blowing and disheartening, but upon reflection, totally reasonable. And the reality that black anger can easily be dismissed by white administrators who avoid conflict reduces their likelihood of success. How many times would I try before I gave up, given the same obstacles???I appreciated the list of dominant white male culture behaviors, and the discussion of how they can be both good and bad, depending on the situation. For those who have read this far, the list follows:Conflict avoidance, Valuing formal education over life experience, Right to comfort/entitlement, Sense of urgency, Competitiveness, Emotional restraint, Judgementalness, Either/ Or thinking, Belief in one Right way, Defensiveness, Being status oriented.Personally, I would add one more, Seeing ourselves as Individuals more than members of a group. (the white group)This book made me think deeply about how these behaviors inhibit attempts to be more inclusive of folks who have different views, and how I can behave differently.If we white people continue to avoid honest discussions across the racial divide our forefathers erected, we will never benefit from the amazing gifts other cultures can offer, and we will stay in a fearful state. And violence will continue on both sides of the divide, with people of color getting blamed for justifiable anger and white people remaining self-justified in squelching any conflict or honest dialogue about other’s painful reality.Thank you Debby Irving, for teaching me how to be a better ally, and reminding me that it will take more work on my part to make a positive difference. This is work I am willing to do, because the deeper connections and my expanded views are so worth it!And for those who are disparaging this book as “liberal guilt” and such, I believe they are just so deep in denial and fear that they are committed to remain ignorant.

Challenging read, prompted self examination to clean up personal belief system. Offered ideas to promote equality. Debby Irving is fearlessly vulnerable, inspiring me to step out of my comfort zone.

The authors approachable tone and language makes an uncomfortable read welcome. The plethora of examples she gives from her own life and journey, as well as the encouragement she gives the reader to examine their own life, make recognizing the fact of the white dominant culture on people of color something close to easy.I would recommend this book to anyone with the willingness to try to understand white privilege and its effect on our neighbors of color.

This is a first rate book for those of us who grew up in the “white bubble” because we don’t know what we don’t know. Debby Irving actually lived in a place and had the advantage that she could take courses and seminars to learn where we are in the bubble and why we are there. I did learn some things from the book despite not having started out with quite as much naivete as the author.Discussing race is hard for most of us because we have been taught not to “make personal remarks” about how someone looks. A four-year-old might ask someone why he has one arm, and his mother is immediately embarrassed, basically because we don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Discussion of race falls immediately into the “personal comments” category. But we, in our bubbles, don’t realize that people of color are under stress every day because of their color and often talk about it. We might be so careful to try not to offend that we actually can never be real friends because there is a whole forbidden area. So, even in our non-bigotry, we have set up barriers. The author actually attended seminars about how to get past these problems. The book is very useful and is a good read for us all.The author defines culture well. She says culture is to a group what personality is to a person. And, she points out there is actually a white culture that we who grew up inside it don’t always recognize. Ms. Irving is quick to point out her own obliviousness, one that many of us have. There are enough interesting insights in this book that it is worth reading twice. And for elementary school teachers the lesson near the end to get a skin color recipe is worth the price of the book.

What this book adds is the emotional journey of discovering one’s own internal racism and awareness that White is indeed a culture. For many people in power and coming from privilege, this notion is a shock. Several reviewers have wondered if people could actually be as unaware as Ms. Irving is. I say heartily, “YES!” Most people in power and with academic and economic privilege rarely discuss race or see it playing into their decisions. Yet, because of their positions of power those choices affect hundreds of people. We don’t see white culture or even that there is a majority culture, there just is the way things are. Aren’t they that way for everyone?If you’re protected from race, you never think about it because you don’t have to. That’s the way it is for many White Americans, and its why we don’t get anywhere with racism. People keep denying that they have it rather than asking, “How am I racist and not know it?” That’s a more interesting question.We need books that deal with the personal journey of discovery of one’s own racism, as well as treatises on Black/African American’s experiences, systemic racism, and how racism is enacted (often unknowingly) in health care practice and policy. This book effectively fills the niche for white people, especially women, on the emotional repercussions of waking up white, and how to deal with all the feelings that brings up. No other book I’ve read on racism or white culture (20 so far on my reading list) has done that with compassion and understanding.

MUST READ! (at least if one is interested in self-awareness regarding issues of justice, privilege and power) A compelling read that is so potent that it needs to be taken a small bit at a time to adequately digest. One of the short chapters a day seems about right, but some require even more time for reflection.

Has a conversational writing style that is easy to read and follow. The chapters are short with lots to “chew on” and each has a thought-provoking question at the end. This book gives you (i.e. white people) a great deal to think about. The white-privilege dominant culture in the US has really done a job on us and this book calls it out and helps the reader realize how much the culture has shaped us — even when we consider ourselves accepting of racial diversity. A must read for anyone who wants to do the work to become truly WOKE.

My church is using this book in a book study on Racism. It was eye-opening to go with the author as she traveled her journey of discovery of how systemic racism perpetuates itself down through our history as a country, and continues. She tells an open, honest story of her experiences, and offers the chance for those reading to examine their own. She offers a look that may have been left out of our history books, and our part in racism today. Highly recommend reading.

Well written and eye-opening. Even if you think you don’t have a racist cell in your body, this book will benefit you. Every Anglo-Saxon human should read this book. Only thing I would have wished for is a larger font. If you can, get the E-book so you’re comfortable reading the font. I purchased the Kindle version and am glad I did. It was much easier on the eyes.

I am slowly digesting the truths in this book, truths that I had never thought of before but which have helped me “wake up” to the current issues of racism in our society. I don’t want the book to end and I have to say that it is changing my thoughts and beliefs successfully!!! Thank you Debby Irving for sharing the wealth!!!

What an uncomfortable book, but oh my goodness, how important it is. Every white person should read this book. Our country really needs to grasp the part racism plays in all our lives.

In this book, Debby combines astonishing research with heartfelt personal experience to bring readers alternatives to the racial abuses that are rampant in society. Posing thought-provoking questions, she guides us on a journey of discovery that can open eyes and change hearts. You’ll be glad you read it. The world is better for this book.

I didn’t think I needed to read this book; I taught U.S. History for years and have always been passionate about social justice. But a friend recommended this book to me, and from the first page, I was hooked. I learned so much. This is a well written accountl of one woman’s gradual awakening to what’s been in front of white people all our lives. We just didn’t know how to see.. You know what? I’d much rather be “woke” than ASLEEP.

Irving grew up in a high society, well to do Boston suburb. I grew up in a lower middle class, rural Alabama, community. Quite a contrast. Yet, we both grew up knowing deep within its that racism is wrong. Worse than wrong. It is evil. We were led down similar paths of being enculturated to believe that people of color were less human than white people. Less intelligent. Less resourceful. Less everything compared to write people. I’m encouraged by Irving’s writing and her example. I hope I have also been emboldened to become a more active ally in the struggle against racism.

If you consider yourself a good, moral, unbiased, unprejudiced person–and are white–this book is an eye-opening, gut-wrenching Must Read. It’s short, so you can’t use lack of time as an excuse. Even its chapters are short, with short easy-to-absorb observations and truths that punch hard into your illusion of understanding just how much white privilege has sickened, and continues to sicken, American society. Be part of the healing. And make sure your local library has plenty of copies.

If you find that you don’t understand the term ‘white privilege’ this will certainly clarify a lot while placing one’s understanding in recent historical context. I am incredibly grateful for this book.

Thank you for your bravery and vulnerability to put yourself out there. I recommend this book to anyone and all who don’t know what they don’t know. Let’s engage and work together people.

This book was recommended on a must read list. While my story is different from the author, I could identify with the conflicting values, well-intended efforts, and any awkward moments that have created discord in my childhood and my life. Even tragic failure, was somehow rigged in my favor. Success in a job that capitalized on my blind belief system, left me feeling anxious not successful. This book serves as a confirmation that things I identified as not right, were actually systemic issues, and not right. Now what to do about it…

A very blatant revelation of how racism has flourished in America, and how white people, such as myself, contribute unknowingly or ignorantly to its perpetuation. Every institution earnestly seeking to encourage diversity, equity, and inclusion should promote the reading of this book. Filled with thought-provoking questions, and resources for further exploration.

This book is an excellent and in depth look at what sustains systemic racism . I learned a greta deal about how the definitions of race are formed and how they bear no resemblance to our DNA. I recommend the book to anyone who wants to have a thoughtful look into waking up literally to the stories about race that sustain racism.

This is an amazing book which drives home how white folks are totally unaware of how privileged they are. If you want to understand how you could be inadvertently racist because of your upbringing, read this book. Here’s one example that shocked me. After WWII the GI’s came home and were praised and lauded for what they did. The government created two programs to help them: the GI Bill to support educating them, and loans for buying a house. These two programs secretly excluded most blacks who’d fought in the war, condemning them to a poorer job prospect and less housing opportunities. That is disgraceful. Irving’s book will open your eyes. f your willing to be open..

This is a well-written, engaging, easy read with insights coming every page or so. It never gets redundant even in the final pages. This is one of the best non-fiction books I have ever read. Clearly it is the best on racism and should be a must read for whites concerned about the often unintended consequences of the way we were raised. To crudely paraphrase Debby Irving. You don’t have to become an angry activist to stop being a silent bystander.

This is one of the most interesting and thought provoking books I have ever read. Although I always try to say the right things in situations where race, culture, and religion are involved, I see that my own white privilege probably gets in the way. I never even realized I was part a ‘white culture ‘. I will be working on looking at myself differently from now on and try to incorporate Ms. Irving’s suggestions into my daily interactions. I would recommend this to everyone of all cultures to read. I can’t wait to discuss it with my (enlightened) book club tomorrow.