A Dwelling Now Guide Awards Gold Medalist, Social Activism/Charity
A sensible, shame-free information for navigating conversations throughout our variations at a time of fast social change.
Within the present interval of social and political unrest, conversations about id have gotten extra frequent and tougher. On topics like vital race principle, gender fairness within the office, and LGBTQ-inclusive school rooms, many people are understandably fearful of claiming the flawed factor. That worry can typically forestall us from talking up in any respect, depriving folks from marginalized teams of assist and stalling progress towards a extra simply and inclusive society.
Kenji Yoshino and David Glasgow, founders of the Meltzer Middle for Range, Inclusion, and Belonging at NYU Faculty of Regulation, are right here to indicate potential allies that these conversations don’t should be so overwhelming. By means of tales drawn from contexts as assorted as social media posts, ceremonial dinner conversations, and office disputes, they provide seven user-friendly ideas that train expertise corresponding to learn how to keep away from frequent conversational pitfalls, have interaction in respectful disagreement, supply genuine apologies, and higher assist folks in our lives who expertise bias.
Analysis-backed, accessible, and uplifting, Say the Proper Factor charts a pathway out of cancel tradition towards extra significant and empathetic dialogue on problems with id. It additionally provides us the sensible instruments to do good in our spheres of affect. Whether or not managing various groups at work, navigating problems with inclusion at school, or difficult biased feedback at a household barbecue, Yoshino and Glasgow assist us transfer from unconsciously hurting folks to consciously serving to them.
Brandon S Perkins –
Kenji and David have approached this difficult contemporary topic with pragmatic and actionable advice. I look forward to incorporating their approach in both professional and personal settings. This is a very timely book for those of us, like myself, who stick their foot in their mouth at times trying to navigate difficult and sensitive conversations. Great and quick read – highly recommend to all even if you are an individual from a “diverse” background yourself!
Joseph Misner –
I am an “old person” (in my 70’s) whose orientation on DEI issues might be described as “traditional ACLU”. Accordingly, I believe that free speech (especially on campuses) is a near-absolute value, and should override DEI considerations when the two are in conflict (again, on campuses — not necessarily in the business or political worlds more generally). I think that scholars such as Charles Murray should be able to speak on college campuses without being shouted down or having their invitations rescinded, and that untenured / adjunct faculty should not have their contracts cancelled or non-renewed because of a verbal slipup in class, or even an intentionally provocative comment in class. I believe these things quite strongly, and would be extremely resistant to apologizing for expressing these views even if someone in a less privileged group sincerely stated that they were/are offended or hurt by them.I fear that these views, and my resistance to apologizing for them, would place me in the “stuck 20%” portion of the population that is referenced chapter of this book about “Principle 7” — at least in the eyes of many DEI proponents (though perhaps not these authors).Nonetheless, I was engaged (and not at all offended) by what the authors said in this book. I read it quickly from cover to cover. I found the real-world situations that they described to be recognizable, and I thought that the advice that they offered was practical, moderate, and useful. I recommend it to anyone interested in a committed but non-polemical statement of the case for DEI and how to pursue it.In an ideal world, I would like to see DEI actually debated — in society but especially on campuses. It should not solely be a debate between the moderate left (where I see myself) and the progressive left, but truly between the left and the right. It needs to be possible for “inclusion” to include people who are truly right of center: Fox News viewers, Trump voters, January 6 sympathizers, election deniers. Many of these people are “privileged” only insofar as their skin is white — they are likely to be less privileged in the dimensions of family income or education than the majority of nonwhite students on “elite” campuses. Why can’t Harvard host a debate between Chuck Schumer and Josh Hawley on these issues? If Harvard sought to do that, would DEI advocates try to prevent it from happening? Would they succeed?
Madelon Wilson –
Let me begin my review with the same honesty the authors did in their introduction to SAY THE RIGHT THING. I am a CIS white woman who is 75 years old. In some ways, I think I might be part of their target audience. Am I an ally to marginalized groups? I like to think I am. At the same time, I find myself not understanding the granularity of what allyship entails.Reviewing SAY THE RIGHT THING: How to Talk about Identity, Diversity, and Justice is a challenge in and of itself. Some of the things I want to say about this book could violate the basic tenets being presented. Why? Because I am human, and I am fallible. SAY THE RIGHT THING is, however, a model for teaching anyone and everyone that sensitivities exist and awareness of them is important. Kudos for acknowledgment that even the most thoughtful among us can and will make mistakes when we speak.My sole criticism of the book stems from the granular nature of the premise. I found myself wondering if children are being taught both sides of this coin. Are some adults teaching intolerance of the ‘other’ while others are promoting tolerance. Imagine this on a bell curve with extreme tolerance is one end and extreme intolerance the other. I see the high point of the bell being filled with confusion and chaos. Some will use this book to gain insight while others will use it to find gotchas.This old dog has been learning new tricks daily and will continue to do so until the end. It’s a good day when I learn something new, and I did learn some things new in SAY THE RIGHT THING.
Shari –
I checked out this book from the library, and after getting only 1/3 of the way through, I knew I needed to own this book. I found myself wanting to highlight and add notes in the margins. As a middle-aged, white, heterosexual woman, I have seen my “privilege” time and time again. This book really helped alleviate the guilt I feel and help me open the conversation with others when I feared saying the wrong thing. I work at a public middle school with quite a diverse population, and I have recommended this book to everyone I work with.
hkemgil –
5 stars
Travel Mom –
Excellent book that provides specific tools for managing difficult conversations. I work at a university and recommend it to all of our department chairs and deans.
Amazon Customer –
Highly Recommend!
Dolly Chugh –
This book is a gem! It’s that wise friend who isn’t preachy but is still wise, who helps you sort out confusion and muster courage. Who helps you see the “why” and the “how”. A must read, must have, must share book! Thank you, Professors Yoshino and Glasgow, for this vulnerable, practical gift!
Milana Hogan –
I can’t say enough good things about this book. It meets you where you are and offers some really helpful, practical, actionable advice. It answers so many of the questions that well-intentioned, good people have but are sometimes afraid to ask, don’t know who to ask, or simply don’t want to burden those who get asked way too often. It is also a really well written, super interesting read – goes down like a creative and delicious meal, not like medicine. Definitely do yourself a favor and add this one to your library!
AnaAna –
If you are an avid reader of DEI books and research (wether you’re a practitioner or other), well, this is **THE** book of the year… actually years to come. Do get it before the first print runs out! Yes, this book is about how to have inclusive and sensitive conversations; yes, it is also about recognizing where each person in the conversation is coming from and how to approach the conversation (e.g., one may be talking about language or policy and the other about humanity and human rights); it is also a book that will help you navigate potential conflicts as we move into a more inclusive society. But what this book really is about (wait for the last few chapters), is a GUIDE FOR CULTURAL AND SOCIETAL CHANGE. The authors don’t say it from the beginning but let the readers deliciously discover it as they read along. It’s really a guide for JUSTICE and EQUITY. And it is told in such a way in which meaningful stories are weaved with solid and thorough academic research. Both Kenji and David are excellent legal scholars at the top of their fields, and they’re now sharing those gifts with us through this magnificent DEI book. It’s truly a gift for society, a gift for change in the right direction and in a sensitive way – which is EXACTLY what we all need right now; a way to come together in productive conversations. So, go buy it! And enjoy one of the best reads you’ll have.Highly recommend this for all DEI practitioners, teachers, professors, and family members going through change. And anyone in society who’s looking for a better future and way of productively engaging with each other.
AnaAna –
If you are an avid reader of DEI books and research (wether you’re a practitioner or other), well, this is **THE** book of the year… actually years to come. Do get it before the first print runs out! Yes, this book is about how to have inclusive and sensitive conversations; yes, it is also about recognizing where each person in the conversation is coming from and how to approach the conversation (e.g., one may be talking about language or policy and the other about humanity and human rights); it is also a book that will help you navigate potential conflicts as we move into a more inclusive society. But what this book really is about (wait for the last few chapters), is a GUIDE FOR CULTURAL AND SOCIETAL CHANGE. The authors don’t say it from the beginning but let the readers deliciously discover it as they read along. It’s really a guide for JUSTICE and EQUITY. And it is told in such a way in which meaningful stories are weaved with solid and thorough academic research. Both Kenji and David are excellent legal scholars at the top of their fields, and they’re now sharing those gifts with us through this magnificent DEI book. It’s truly a gift for society, a gift for change in the right direction and in a sensitive way – which is EXACTLY what we all need right now; a way to come together in productive conversations. So, go buy it! And enjoy one of the best reads you’ll have.Highly recommend this for all DEI practitioners, teachers, professors, and family members going through change. And anyone in society who’s looking for a better future and way of productively engaging with each other.
Dolly Chugh –
This book is a gem! It’s that wise friend who isn’t preachy but is still wise, who helps you sort out confusion and muster courage. Who helps you see the “why” and the “how”. A must read, must have, must share book! Thank you, Professors Yoshino and Glasgow, for this vulnerable, practical gift!
GREGORY FILGOGREGORY FILGO –
Everyone knows that conversations about identity are extremely challenging and divisive. We’re constantly being pushed into opposing camps, screaming epithets at each other instead of listening and learning. This book is a stunning breakthrough accomplishment that shows us how to have these conversations productively—with empathy, respect, and compassion. I underlined passages on nearly every page and will be returning to this resource regularly in the years ahead. Every parent, every teacher, every student, every professional should read this crucial book.
Marcia Longman –
I’ve read a lot of books about identity and diversity, but this is the only one I’ve encountered that focuses on actions and behaviors. This book is awesome. A huge contribution to the literature on this crucial subject.
Amazon Customer –
Highly Recommend!
Madelon Wilson –
Let me begin my review with the same honesty the authors did in their introduction to SAY THE RIGHT THING. I am a CIS white woman who is 75 years old. In some ways, I think I might be part of their target audience. Am I an ally to marginalized groups? I like to think I am. At the same time, I find myself not understanding the granularity of what allyship entails.Reviewing SAY THE RIGHT THING: How to Talk about Identity, Diversity, and Justice is a challenge in and of itself. Some of the things I want to say about this book could violate the basic tenets being presented. Why? Because I am human, and I am fallible. SAY THE RIGHT THING is, however, a model for teaching anyone and everyone that sensitivities exist and awareness of them is important. Kudos for acknowledgment that even the most thoughtful among us can and will make mistakes when we speak.My sole criticism of the book stems from the granular nature of the premise. I found myself wondering if children are being taught both sides of this coin. Are some adults teaching intolerance of the ‘other’ while others are promoting tolerance. Imagine this on a bell curve with extreme tolerance is one end and extreme intolerance the other. I see the high point of the bell being filled with confusion and chaos. Some will use this book to gain insight while others will use it to find gotchas.This old dog has been learning new tricks daily and will continue to do so until the end. It’s a good day when I learn something new, and I did learn some things new in SAY THE RIGHT THING.
Kathryn Jones –
Although I am a passionate supporter of diversity and justice in my life and in my work I had become deeply disenchanted with “DEI”. Every workshop or event I went to (and there were a lot) leaned into shaming and othering, behaviors that I believe are deeply harmful under all circumstances. THIS BOOK IS THE BOOK WE HAVE ALWAYS NEEDED. Kenji Yoshino and David Glasgow’s work is rigorous, and deeply researched, and it is also compassionate and KIND. Critically, they recognize that human interactions are layered and nuanced, and expect everyone, including themselves, to make mistakes. The trick is in how we, as a society, and on a personal level, respond to those mistakes. To this end they present easy to remember guidelines for the most constructive way to stand for diversity and justice, for those who have been wronged, for ourselves when we have been the cause of the harm, and critically, to another individual who may have been the source of the harm. This is a book that will both help you chart a path to deeper self awareness and also towards hope that we can all align around our commonalities, rather than continue to build silos of resentment.
hkemgil –
5 stars
Brandon S Perkins –
Kenji and David have approached this difficult contemporary topic with pragmatic and actionable advice. I look forward to incorporating their approach in both professional and personal settings. This is a very timely book for those of us, like myself, who stick their foot in their mouth at times trying to navigate difficult and sensitive conversations. Great and quick read – highly recommend to all even if you are an individual from a “diverse” background yourself!
Marcia Longman –
I’ve read a lot of books about identity and diversity, but this is the only one I’ve encountered that focuses on actions and behaviors. This book is awesome. A huge contribution to the literature on this crucial subject.
Travel Mom –
Excellent book that provides specific tools for managing difficult conversations. I work at a university and recommend it to all of our department chairs and deans.