Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt

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Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
Mortuary Confidential does for the undertaker occupation what Stiff did for cadavers–it manages to be as informative and heartwarming as it’s irreverent and hilarious. This assortment of actual tales from morticians and funeral administrators throughout America feeds mainstream readers’ darkish curiosity and humorousness about “our world of demise” with a behind-the-scenes glimpse into each conceivable aspect from the individuals who contact it each day.

From shoot-outs at funerals to useless males screaming and runaway corpses, undertakers have loads of uncommon tales to tell–and a particular method of telling them.

On this macabre and transferring compilation, funeral administrators throughout the nation share their most embarrassing, jaw-dropping, irreverent, and deeply poignant tales about life at demise’s door. Uncover what scares them and what strikes them to tears. Find out about rookie errors and why demise typically requires duct tape.

Take pleasure in tales of the dearly departed spending eternity bare from the waist down and getting bottled and corked–in a wine bottle. After which meet their families–the weepers, the punchers, the stolidly dignified, and those who ship their useless mom in a pickup truck.

If there’s one factor undertakers know, it is that demise drives individuals loopy. These are the very best “our bodies of labor” from America’s darkest occupation.

Specification: Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt

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80 reviews for Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt

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  1. Tameeka James

    I really enjoyed this book it was interesting, funny at times and most of all entertaining. I look forward to reading more works by these two authors.

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  2. Bob Collins

    A very enlightening book especially since I read Soldier Dead before it. There is a very serious difference between the Sodlier Dead and the Civilain Dead.

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  3. AnnHennessy

    a wonderful fun book. I know you don’t think this subject is funny, but we all have to go some time.

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  4. Mourty MarthaMourty Martha

    Great book, one of the stories made me cry.

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  5. Freddy

    Great insight into undertakers experiences. Entertaining read!

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  6. Amazon Customer

    One of my 1st jobs as a teenager was to work in a funeral home. Although I only lasted about 3 months, what I experienced within those three months have left an indelible print in my memory. That was almost 45 years ago. The short recollections within this book are interesting, funny, and insightful. I thought I was the only one that had some of these experiences. Also, if you ever want to have a blast, go to a Morticians Convention. It’s not what you think.

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  7. D. Mattson

    Loved reading all the short stories about the funeral directors stories. Some are pretty funny. Can’t imagine anyone not liking this book.

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  8. Sandra Barta

    These stories show that undertakers/funeral directors are real people, doing a job that most of us don’t give much thought to until we need their services. I feel like I understand more of what happens behind the scene of an unhappy part of life. If you like unusual stories and antidotes of jobs this is a very good read.

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  9. Margie

    I loved the stories in this book! I recommend it to anyone who is curious about the job of an undertaker. Most of these stories had me laughing like crazy. Others were sad and brought tears to my eyes. These stories are wonderfully told and very interesting.

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  10. Jili Power

    This book gives the reader a whole new perspective on the funeral directing profession. All the stories are different, some sad, heartbreaking, others wryly humorous. My favorite was called “Severe Clear”. The book is well edited and fairly well proofed. I recommend it.

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  11. Don Hallford

    I enjoyed this book. It was both educational and entertaining with nuggets of sage advice hidden throughout the book. Definitely a worthwhile read.

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  12. DW Waldman

    Interesting read about the development of today’s mortuary business

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  13. Dr. Sidney K. Moormeister

    Having taught forensic sciences and medicine for many years, I can closely relate to some of these stories. The writing is excellent! It is entertaining, moving, and entrancing. I plan to give it as a gift to friends, both in and out of forensic medicine and death investigation.

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  14. Joy Hamilton

    This book shows that professionals in the funeral business have to have a good sense of humor, along with a good dose of empathy. Some stories were just plain laugh outloud funny. An enjoyable and informative read!

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  15. Sandee

    Love the short chapters. And very entertaining!

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  16. Linda M.

    Working as a funeral assistant I found this book in line with what I see day in and day out..you have to find humor in some of the daily encounters you come across.

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  17. Charlotte r martin

    The stories were Interesting and entertaining,also informative! It’s hard to believe the strange things that happen behind those closed doors!

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  18. Kenneth Brownson

    I live in DE not far from Todd. I think he buried my brother-in-law. I am a slow reader but I could not put it down. I hope for another.

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  19. Amazon Customer

    Very interesting. It definitely got a few tears out of me, but I found more humor in it than anything. As someone who is currently considering becoming a funeral director, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Great stories with a wide range of experiences and outlooks on life, death, and being a funeral director overall.

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  20. Amazon Customer

    Really enjoyed this read. Very interesting and entertaining to hear the firsthand accounts of those how have chose such a profession. Want to read more like it!

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  21. Marifrances

    This book is well worth reading. Not only does it give you a glimpse into the macabre and poignant world of morticians, it has moments that are so absurdly funny that I found myself laughing out loud! But it’s not only funny; this book is touching too, as it makes you think.This is a very easy read; if you are looking for something entertaining and light, yet bizarre and unusual, this book is a great choice.

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  22. Amazon Customer

    Had family in the business. It’s a very serious profession and requires a lot of patience and people skill. But like anything else, stuff happens. After reading, passed it to my wife who’s mortally afraid of cemeteries in the dark and she laughed so hard she cried.

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  23. Chad Williams

    Loved it! I laughed and cried at the realness of it. Even the ghost story. I would highly recommend it!

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  24. Dezz

    After reading this book, you will realize the business is not all gloom and doom! Lots to learn! A good read.

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  25. Nancy Znavor-Gifford

    I found this book to be a quick and easy read, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I think most people are intrigued by the mystique of the undertaker’s world. These amusining and some poignant stories humanize the profession and “bring it to life.”

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  26. Dawn

    This book was very educational in a fun way. We forget about what really happens from the time our love ones take their last breath and when they go to their final resting place, but it’s nice to know that the people responsible for them truly care.

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  27. tired old nurse

    As a nurse, many of these tales resonate. Great to know how professionals deal with the realities of life and death.

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  28. Tracey

    Loved it..Excellent Read

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  29. Greg E. Sedbrook

    Great read. Would highly recommend to anyone, whether interested in mortuaries or not. Good for a good laugh. A must read.

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  30. Kimjo

    Loved the stories. Although the second book was a bit better this one was very satisfactory. Highly recommended by me.

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  31. Ally

    I’m a funeral director, and I enjoyed this book. IT straddles the fine line between what we experience as well as the view from the bereaved.Good read over all. Couldn’t put it down

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  32. Dave

    This is a collection of very short true stories from Funeral directors all over the country. I love it and each chapter is different but each one fascinating. I love this book, I’m still not done with it, I read only one chapter a day just to make the book last longer.

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  33. Amazon Customer

    Great read! I’ve always wanted to know more about something that affects everyone so dearly. It was very interesting and even hilarious. Yes, there can be humor, even in death. Ultimately, it was very respectably written, and gave educational insight into a little known field.

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  34. Janet

    I love the little tidbits from undertakers. It’s a slice of life from an occupation that most people don’t want to hear about, but get over it, we all die someday and I for one want caring, level-headed people taking care of my shell when I leave this earth. This book gives me hope that there’s more of them than I thought.

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  35. Willie

    Fun romp through the problems faced by undertakers. Great humor. Makes undertakers a little more human.

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  36. Barbara O.

    I sometimes like to read short stories like these. The author showed the humor that goes along with with the job. I recommend this book to anyone.

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  37. MariaB

    I found these stories so interesting, told from the perspectives of those in that industry. Some were very touching, others funny and some sad, but still good. It gave a whole new perspective into those in that field and I have a whole new respect for them.

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  38. Mr. Bassman

    Everything stated in the Amazon book description was absolutely true. The stories evoked humor, pathos, and other emotions I never expected from a funereal compilation. This is a great read for everyone who may be curious about the vocation of mortuary science or will eventually wind up dead.

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  39. Kindle Customer

    Very well written and keeps the realism of facing a death in perspective.Funny at times but very real.

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  40. Amazon Customer

    Nice and funny) real good book that describes the profession of undertaker. And they are nice people. Do not fee death you will be in good hands

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  41. Cathy Gischlar

    Some humor some sad but a great read! I recommend this book highly. Made me contemplate life and death a little more.

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  42. JTC

    The stories are short, sincere, sometimes humorous and sometimes poignant. Great insight into the world of mortuaries and the lives of funeral home directors. Very enjoyable!

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  43. Kindle Customer

    Very interesting look into the death field and comical and touching stories of the chaos death can bring and the people who guide you through it.

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  44. Old Woodworker

    It is a very easy and fast book consisting of short humorous stories. Most of them are very funny. I recommend the book for all who have a sense of humor.

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  45. Kindle Customer

    I laughed, I cried, mostly I developed an appreciation for family and friends that I did not have before I read this book. The emotions created by the stories run the entire gamete. Highly endorsed!

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  46. Tash Robb

    loved it…reminds me of tales I could tell. Like the time I traveled from the airport after picking “somebody” from aThe airport and had,too pass through a border stop… seems like there were a bunch of agents still in training and they wanted to look in the air transport case….. you can get the gist of itThank you to the writer.Tash, late of West Funeral home

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  47. Joseph

    Good reading material

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  48. anonymous

    This book gives you an inside look into the lives of mortuary specialists. Some of the stories are somewhat amusing and others are very sad. I really liked this book.

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  49. D. A. DAILEY

    Found the stories truthful, compassionate. Like reading books on subjects that are taboo to most. Mortuary science has always fascinated me.

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  50. mercedes

    As a studying funeral director I have enjoyed this so so much

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  51. Jami Stevenson

    I’m a student about to attend mortuary school and this book really opened my eyes and I could relate to some of the stories with my experience working in a funeral home. It is a great read!!

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  52. Cathey Robertson

    Some funny stories, some very sad, and some to make you think about telling your loved ones every single day that you love them. Also an excellent story/lesson about not going to bed mad.

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  53. JK2008

    Great mix of funny and poignant stories. The authors did a great job of highlighting many facets of the mortuary world.

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  54. LilaS

    Very good book. Well worth reading. It just goes to show how interesting and rewarding a job can be even when it’s thought to be dismal and depressing.

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  55. Amazon Customer

    I loved this book. Not only was it fun to read, but the stories were short and easy to digest on their own (without having to read the book cover to cover). Harra and McKenzie manage to give us a humorously unexpected looking into the mortuary profession. The authors themselves have added stories of their own in this tantalizing read. I am surprised at some of the negative reviews I’ve read on this site for the book- I do not work in the profession, and thoroughly enjoyed it. The small amount of background is perfect to give you a flash of the story tellers bearings and enhances the story quality. GREAT BOOK, GREAT READ!

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  56. Dee Cope

    I really enjoyed this book. It was very entertaining, lighthearted and funny. I guess you can find humor in anything. I would recommend this book to anyone needing a good laugh.

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  57. al veeck

    Very interesting stories that make one laugh, cry, and think. A quick read, yet a book that makes you contemplate what will ultimately come to us all.

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  58. Erika E. Paleck

    This book was alternately heartbreaking, thought provoking, and laugh out loud. I’ve some familiarity with the industry. Never doubt the heart and soul of the people engaged in this business. For most of them, it becomes a calling, a mission.

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  59. SSM

    Having a family friend in the funeral business , I can relate to some of the funny stories. He would share some of his experience all the time. Funny and entertaining book.

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  60. Andi

    I worked for a small monument company and found myself in some very uncomfortable,funny, sad, and touching situations; sometimes all in the same visit with a family. This book is fantastic and sheds light in a very candid yet respectful way on this service industry. (Respectful, except for the part about Marilyn’s falsies). Very well written and fun to read.

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  61. Amazon Customer

    Amazing and insightful.Stories you would feel too awkward to ask a professional undertaker for.Funny, weird, educational and hopeful.

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  62. scott herpstreith

    I liked this inside look at an industry where everything seems taboo. It gives a humanity to a business that deals with something we would rather not discuss.

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  63. Lory

    Really enjoyed this book, hoping there will be another..learned a few things I didn’t know & realized the people in this business are truly special. This cannot be an easy job, so thank you all for what you do..

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  64. diana

    A good story to read about a subject I know little about; except what I’ve seen on TV.

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  65. Amy Gibbons

    The book made me know that the stuffed shirts at the funeral homes have seen it all and lived to laugh about it. Each story is brief so you can read one or however many you want. It will make you chuckle and make you think. Nice mix.

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  66. The Dutch Master

    Quick easy heartfelt read with touches of humor to make you smile and even laugh out loud. There were stories that made me sad but you always felt that the deceased and the families were being cared for with the utmost respect to bring a dignified closure to the tragedies.

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  67. Diane Compagnone-Twist

    I purchased this book to help better educate me in what I was getting myself into by going to school for funeral serviced.

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  68. Candice L.

    This collection of stories from morticians is as entertaining as it is heartwarming. I laughed, I cried, and I started to understand that the job affects people more than we realize. My mother passed away last year, and this book gave me a better appreciation to everyone in the mortuary business, when it comes to taking care of our loved ones.

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  69. Sylvia

    This was a very interesting book, with various stories from various morticians and those that work with the deceased. Some stories are naturally very sad, others are unusual and interesting to say the least. Other incidents were funny in that they are bound to happen sooner or later in anyone’s line of work, including morticians. I still have a question that was left unanswered when I did finish reading the book. I am not asking it here, but I would love to ask it eventually.

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  70. Happymommy09

    This collection of stories is entertaining and refreshing. Reading how compassionate funeral directors are first hand makes me a little less stressed when it comes time to deal with my family. I would recommend this book to anyone who wonders what goes on in a funeral director’s mind and not the bodies themselves.

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  71. Kim wood

    Death is certain but when, how and why are not. This book was funny, touching and illuminating. These professionals are truly called to do what they do and offer a wonderful and needed service. You can laugh or you can cry. I choose to laugh. I have already paid to be cremated but I have not thought beyond that! Hmmmm.

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  72. Amazon Customer

    This guy is funny and has a wonderful outlook on handling the recently deceased.

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  73. KindlLinda G. Rickerte Customer

    Have a friend who is a funeral director. Would love to ask him his experiences after reading this book.The stories were compassionate and humorous at the same time. They were not macrbe

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  74. Donna Niemann

    Fascinating, kept my interest throughout the book. Death is a part of life and I especially appreciated the dignity that was foremost important for each of the writers. Stories were sad, funny, heartfelt and true!

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  75. Kindle Customer

    Death brings us all together. It is one thing we all have in common. And who better to tell the story than those who meet us at Death’s door to offer what help and comfort they can. Here they share their stories with us.

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  76. Toni

    This was one of the best books I’ve ever read!! I laughed, cried, and felt each one of the stories. Thank you for a deeper insight into the people that take care of us at the very end of this journey. It’s a special calling that requires compassion and humor.

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  77. Candij

    Many laughs as you read through what normally is considered a gloomy job. I loved it! Well written!

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  78. Mihalis in Kansas

    This was another great read that offered a lot of background for a lot of questions that I had about deaths in my own family with regard to what happens in the funeral home and also how truly mean and otherwise inhuman some patrons can be toward the funeral director and family members. I finished reading the book finding comfort in the fact that we are all in this together!

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  79. K. Holladay

    I bought this book for a friend, who was studying to become a Mortuary Assistant. A fun read, even though I’m not in the industry!

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  80. Mary Jane Eisele

    Grandfather was studying to be a mortician when a deceased client sat straight up on the kitchen table. That day ended his apprenticeship.

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    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt
    Mortuary Confidential: Undertakers Spill the Dirt

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