An NPR Finest E book of 2022
USA TODAY Bestseller
This revolutionary method to cleansing and organizing helps free you from feeling ashamed or overwhelmed by a messy dwelling.
In the event you’re struggling to remain on prime of your to-do checklist, you most likely have a superb purpose: nervousness, fatigue, despair, ADHD, or lack of help. For therapist KC Davis, the start of her second youngster triggered a stress-mess cycle. The extra behind she felt, the much less motivated she was to start out. She didn’t fold a single piece of laundry for seven months. One life-changing realization restored her sanity—and the performance of her dwelling:
You don’t work in your dwelling; your private home works for you.
In different phrases, messiness is just not an ethical failing. A brand new sense of calm washed over her as she let go of the shame-based messaging that interpreted a pile of soiled laundry as “I can by no means sustain” and a chaotic kitchen as “I’m a nasty mom.” As an alternative, she checked out unwashed garments and thought, “I’m alive,” and at stacks of dishes and thought, “I cooked my household dinner three nights in a row.”
Constructing on this basis of self-compassion, KC devised the highly effective sensible method that has exploded in recognition by means of her TikTok account, @domesticblisters. The key is to simplify your to-do checklist and to seek out inventive workarounds that accommodate your restricted time and vitality. On this e-book, you’ll study precisely easy methods to customise your cleansing technique and rebuild your relationship with your private home, together with:
-Learn how to see chores as kindnesses to your future self, not as a mirrored image of your price
-Learn how to begin by setting priorities
-Learn how to stagger duties so that you gained’t procrastinate
-Learn how to clear in fast bursts inside your current every day routine
-Learn how to use inventive shortcuts to remodel a room from messy to practical
With KC’s assist, your private home will really feel like a sanctuary once more. It would change into a spot to relaxation, even when issues aren’t completed. You’ll transfer with ease, and peace and calm will edge out guilt, self-criticism, and countless checklists. They haven’t any place right here.
S. J. Montgomery –
It is in no way an overstatement to say that this book (along with the strugglecare videos on her website and tiktok) have changed my life.Here are three key takeaways for me:1. Being able to disentangle the unpleasantness of chores and care tasks (eg “ugh, toilets, gross, uncomfortable to get around to the back, smells, bleh”) from the ingrained emotional shame and internalized harshness (eg “I’m a terrible person for not being perfect at this and letting it get like this, what a piece of **** I must be,” etc etc etc) is nothing short of revolutionary. I can dislike doing a chore without having to pile on extra shame and mental pressure — and go figure, it’s easier to do it without the terrible emotions!2. Care tasks are morally neutral, and it’s okay to do things in a different, “odd” way if it makes it more functional and easier for you to do it. (Or possible to do it at all.)3. Shame is not a good motivator, especially long term. Learn to embrace kindness and functionality! Getting curious about how to make a space/routine more functional for me is SO much more helpful than beating myself up about past failures.If you have ADHD or other mental health or executive function struggles, or if you just have a hard time with everyday care tasks for any reason (grief & loss, sleep deprivation — parents of new babies!, stress, big life changes, etc) or no discernible reason whatsoever, PLEASE read this very short, very manageable book. Watch the videos on the strugglecare website. I literally cannot recommend this highly enough.
Mike –
I was hooked 2 pages in because I had double knee replacement in February 2020 and then had my family of 5 home with me during my ‘well planned’ recovery.Unique perspective on my own and other’s reactions to starting and finishing anything. I’m giving this to everyone for Christmas.
Amazon Customer –
I hate housework, and have mental health struggles, and this was the book for me. Highly recommend it if you are like me and find domestic labor to be…well, labor.This little book hasn’t turned my home into a magically always clean picture perfect place, but it has done wonders in getting me started in the right direction of having a home that is functional and I feel proud of. More importantly, it’s helped me find relief from my constant guilt and shame about my house not being immaculate at all times, and have a healthier attitude about why and in what way should I try to keep house. Making my home serve me and my family, rather than me feeling like a slave to its upkeep has been revolutionary.If you’ve had this book recommended, please please do give it a go.It’s the least intimidating book I’ve ever read, since it’s divided into little small bites and chapters, I can fit in reading little bits at a time even while caring for a kiddo full time. I truly wish that everyone could have a helpful friend to meet up with to give good advice like this when they are feeling overwhelmed by the burden that is domestic labor. Made me feel like I was given a warm blanket, a cup of tea, and reassured that my struggles were valid, while also helping me find a place to start that was right for me in my time of chaos.Buy it, read a few pages at a time as you can fit them in here and there, see if there are any hints that can help you, and be gentle with yourself since keeping house is a whole job that you just may have not been taught the skills to cope with. I’ll be giving copies away this little gem for sure.
suelynn –
I love KC’s approach. This book is easy to understand and going to work in ways so many other books haven’t.ADHD, health issues, mental struggles? you will love the way she helps us understand how to make it work for each of us.
acadia –
if you have adhd and find it difficult to keep things clean, this book is for you. Very well written and thought provoking. helped me tremendously
Kathy Magnowska –
I read this in one day, and I think I might read it again tomorrow and maybe even the day after. It’s definitely something I’ll be referring to time after time. KC shares such different perspectives to what we “should be” doing, and instead encourages compassion and care for ourselves and our homes. I loved everything about this book. Yes, it’s about keeping house, but it’s also so much more. The lessons in this book not only apply to housework but extend to self-love and self-talk and more. This was a powerful read for me. If I could give this more stars, I would. I truly wish Davis had more books because I long to absorb more of her words.
alexxcz –
This book is a wonderful guide not just for keeping your living spaces organized, but also for how to live your imperfect life with grace and joy. It is geared toward folks with depression and ADD, but I think anyone without cleaning staff would appreciate the support given here!
Lylismom –
“How to Keep a House While Drowning” is a really good book, particularly if “you are your own worst enemy”, or even if you’re not. You can tell that KC Davis speaks from experience…thoughtful experiences that have made a huge difference in her and her families life. And she also speaks with empathy and humor. Can’t recommend this book enough.
P.Earl13 –
This book made me cry, in a good way. I felt so relieved knowing I wasn’t alone in housekeeping struggles. In addition, some of the strategies are game changers for me.If you feel utterly overwhelmed or even just mildly anxious about keeping up your home I recommend this book.
BraveOne –
This book is brilliant, brief, and no nonsense. It is a kind letter from a gentle person speaking directly into your mind to counter all those voices telling you what cleaning “should be like” and giving you permission to let go of the teachings of the past that only harm us now. Instead, it is time to start care tasks and stop cleaning. It is time to watch how we phrase what we are doing and focus on what actually works and supports us.KC Davis writes all the things I tell my clients in therapy all the time. Now, I can save my clients time and money by handing them this book (it’s on my therapist bookshelf now). KC, from a fellow therapist, well done!!!
Charles H –
Reading this book made me feel seen. I’ve just always felt that I can’t keep up with everything. I could relate to how so many of my habits came from shame, and how to untangle some of that.Additionally, reading this book helps me appreciate myself and what I can do. I might not accomplish tasks the same way as others, but it’s not about how we get stuff done.I really liked the sections that talked about the Health/Safety : Comfort : Happiness framework. I’ve personally struggled with understanding why I attend to certain things or tasks, and am unable to prioritize what matters to my partner. Now we’re able to talk about what we can do to meet everyone needs as mush as possible.I’m glad I got the hardcover, so I can use it kind of like a reference book, and reread sections. This book is a keeper!
Audrey Gamez –
This is like half practical manual, half encouragement to do just what you need to do to take care of yourself while letting go of the guilt and shame of what others tell you you should do to be a functional adult. I found it super helpful.
Mrs Joanna M Morrison –
I love the suggestions KC gives throughout this book. Super helpful and, most importantly, realistic and achievable for a mum with busy, untidy kids!! It’s written for a neurodivergent audience but is useful for anyone who finds balancing work, home, and kids (if you have them) really overwhelming and feels like a failure for not being able to do what other people seem to manage easily (or do they??)
Nikki Butler –
This is a really down to earth guide that Davis has sent to remind you not only of your worth, but to give practical tips for survival. Honestly, I wish I could make everyone I know read it.
maricela rivera –
This book is an eye opener, it gives new perspective to the idea of caring for our home, it frees you up it gives you wisdom and permission to enjoy your home.
Megan –
It changed my perspective about my home. I feel so much more at peace after reading it.
Sydney –
Even though this book doesn’t necessarily give life changing tips or solutions, it does give much needed perspective and encourages practicing self kindness. One line in particular made me cry.Chapter 15, “You can’t save the rainforest if you’re depressed.””You are not responsible for saving the world if you are struggling to save yourself. If you must use paper plates for meals or throw away recycling in order to gain better functioning, you should do so. [Sic] Your job is to survive.”I cried reading that the first time. My kitchen was half filled with items I meant to take to the recycling center, but never got around to doing because the task seemed so overwhelming. After reading that, I took my recycling and threw it into trash bags and put them on the curb. The sigh of relief was well worth it. One day, I’ll do everything right by the environment, but today is not that day and that’s okay.
Amazon customer –
For someone with chronic fatigue and CLL this book is a lifesaver. People look at me and think I’m fine because I can do things like grocery shop or meet for coffee. They don’t realize that’s all I can do for that day. On a “normal” day for me anything that needs to be done, needs to be done before noon when I start going downhill. If I push and do too much there’s the joy of Post Exertion Malaise where it may take days to recover. Sorry, I’m rambling. It’s just so wonderful to have someone tell me it’s ok not to have a perfectly clean house and then how best to deal with it. Again, thank you KC Davis
suelynn –
I love KC’s approach. This book is easy to understand and going to work in ways so many other books haven’t.ADHD, health issues, mental struggles? you will love the way she helps us understand how to make it work for each of us.
SPERN –
This is a great book for any new mom! It is realistic in terms of setting goals, doesn’t shame you for not having an influencer perfect house and gives you tips to motivate yourself to be nice to future you
Mackenzie Mitchell –
Perfect gentle book that absolutely changed my life. Anyone who is neurodivergent should read this.
Amma –
Especially wonderful for my adhd/autistic/depressed/anxious brain. Genuinely changed my approach for the better.
Emily –
I have followed KC on tiktok since she went viral for her division of labor videos. I love her, I love her content, I love her vibe. On top of that, she is a therapist and has actual relevant experience and genuinely a reliable voice to listen to on these topics.She is helping re-write the messages stuck in my head that things need to be perfect, or I’m failing if the laundry is piling up, or putting myself down for having a messy house. She shows that cleaning is not just one simple task – “clean” – Its a million tiny tasks, and for some people its harder to tackle than others and its ok.She encourages you to find what works for YOU to make YOUR house function for YOU. Not adhering to aesthetic trends or what we think we “should” be doing with our homes. She gives you permission to do things half-assed because its better than not doing it at all. This book was a little therapy session.I plan on giving it to my husband so he can get a better understanding of how MY brain works when it comes to “keeping house”And I’m recommending it to all my friends struggling with all the same things.KC you are a beautiful sentient ball of stardust, thank you so much for sharing your message. You are especially saving neurodivergent stay-at-home moms. You are changing the status quo and changing lives. Thank you!
Dyane L –
This book is a valuable tool in the fight against clutter. It’s a self help book for those who hate to clean. Really changed my life!!
Emma –
The Five Things cleaning method, golden.I’ve been going through a lot of stuff, and a coach I really trust recommended this book after reading. I normally give only passing attention to self-help content, look for one tip to take with me and move on. Because this person has helped me in the last few months with relevant and respectful suggestions that have really “fit” for me and made a difference in my day to day quality of life, I’m interested in anything that’s influencing their thinking. So I got a copy. I skim-read it in one night, like I usually do with this genre, and saw one or two tips that seemed good, a couple things I was like “yeah, I know that one,”, ok, cool, move on..However … It’s been sinking in more as it continues to sit by my bedside and I find myself re-reading here and there the exceptionally short, to-the-point little chapters, and I’m finding more and more that because it’s so concise (not always true in this genre) sometimes just a single sentence takes root in my mind and ends up coming to me at a time I can use it. I even modified one of the ideas in it to help deal with an anxiety attack about work, and it was truly helpful.I just really like that it’s really down to earth about the fact that for some of us, there is an actual deficit of time or energy that we’ll always be dealing with. While poverty is still impossible to fight with a self-help book, she addresses other kinds of deficits in a real way.Issues it relates to for me: fatigue, sleep disorder, ADHD, certain trauma symptoms, (the elusive “depression” that all those things are frequently mischaracterized as) and a lifetime of chronic overwhelment. A lot of what she says is connecting meaningfully with other things that have been happening in my mind and heart and self-image over the last couple of years.I also think that the underlying philosophy would be very compatible with any addiction recovery program, whether spiritual or nonspiritual. It has no spiritual content of its own, but there’s this one statement about your value as a human being that I gotta admit, has shaken me. In a good way. It was quiet, it snuck up on me, but it ended up going above and beyond what I expected.
Amazon Customer –
This was such a great book. It gives such helpful advice on how to set your life/home up for joy and your own definition of success. Less stress and guilt, more joy.
Stephanie H. –
This book is a game-changer. I no longer feel like a prisoner to my home and the never-ending, miles long to-do list of chores that never seem to get done. I no longer find my worth in being able to keep my home showroom ready. I accept it as it is, I make my home work and be functional for me, and my family and I live comfortably in it. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, ADHD, physical disability, or any other condition that affects your ability to clean, organize, and otherwise maintain the everyday working order/routine of your home, please buy this book. You’ve probably suffered long enough with trying to do it all yourself (with sometimes promising, sometimes disastrous results). No need to beat yourself up anymore. This book will give you real, incredibly helpful advice, much-needed compassions, and insight into what’s going wrong and how to fix it. You won’t regret getting it!
Alice’s Daughter –
I’m a clinical psychologist and I have my own experience with “drowning.” This book has had dramatic impacts on every person I have suggested read it. It’s kind. It’s helpful. And it is perfectly formatted and written for people who are struggling with concentration or have other reading difficulties. The author uses great metaphors, and recognizing that neurodivergent folks often need literal language, she translates them into plainer English. She clearly understands her audience!
K –
Everyone, AND I MEAN EVERYONE, should read this book. I can’t begin to tell you how “heard” I felt while reading. Not one time have I gotten through a “self-help” book, whereas this guide was too good to put down. There are too many words and not enough space when it comes to recommending this book. Just read it, you’ll see what I mean.
William –
As a new stay at home mom, she hit the right cords form me. Well written and a must read
Racello –
I cried so much reading this book. The permission and compassion it doles out is invaluable. I’m living with type 1 diabetes, PTSD, and ADHD, so I’ve often struggled with “keeping up” with my day to day. I cannot describe to you the RELIEF I felt realizing that it was OK for me to buy some compostable plates to eat off of if dishes send me into a miserable spiral. It’s beautifully written for people with a neurodivergent brain, and I really enjoyed it.
audaciouslyfat –
…and struggle with cleaning, organizing, etc, READ THIS NOW.I feel so much more able to keep house now. It’s not a system you have to rigidly follow. She gives you a way to reframe you’re thinking about the tasks you have to do to take care of yourself.Incredible book.
Vonda Stafford Brown –
I was feeling stuck, so I took the day off to reset. This book was perfect to help me get my mind right. Focusing on function is my key takeaway. Thanks!
Tina M. Horn –
I highlighted a lot in this book and expect I will re-read it regularly. I also plan to ask Spouse to read it so we can have a shared vocabulary to discuss shifting the way we think about our spaces.
Kristen –
This is actually the second copy of this book that I’ve bought because I loaned the first copy out but then immediately missed it & so bought another copy.I cannot express how much this book has changed my view on house work. I was not prepared for the emotional unpacking that would come with reading it or with how much it was going to help me heal a lot of my negative self-talk. I don’t know if I ever really understood the concept of “compassion” before reading this book & had allowed me to not only treat myself with more love & compassion, but then to also treat others with the same kind of love & compassion. I’ve also gained a newfound understanding of what KC describes as “care tasks” & how to stop bullying myself when I feel as though I’m “failing” when I am struggling to keep up.A huge thank you to KC Davis for writing this to share with the world!
Denise Cummins –
I just finished How To Keep House While Drowning. I feel like im ok at keeping house but i felt validated after reading it. I love that she changes the language on chores.
Elizabeth Toller –
This book presents a new way to approach care tasks in a way that is kind to yourself. Some helpful tips to help implement the new mindset and be successful. Ended slightly abruptly, but this is mean to be a quick easy guide, not a thesis.
Laura Blankenship –
I have always had a challenging relationship with housework. I read lots of books, including Maire Kondo’s, and while I may have taken some ideas from them all, I still came away from them feeling bad about myself. I couldn’t implement everything and so I felt bad. This book helped me understand why I struggled so much and also had practical tips. If you want to improve your space but struggle to do so for whatever reason, I highly recommend this book.
Audrey Gamez –
This is like half practical manual, half encouragement to do just what you need to do to take care of yourself while letting go of the guilt and shame of what others tell you you should do to be a functional adult. I found it super helpful.
S Kirkland –
KC Davis has put housekeeping on a whole new playing field! Her unique approach to mundane tasks puts a new light on an age-old situation! Her recurring theme is be good to yourself!!I enjoyed reading this book! She’s the real deal with a message to people like me who struggle with keeping a spotless versus functional house! This book may not be for those of you who love to clean and have Martha Stewart as a role model! It is an awesome book of ideas and suggestions to reframe our outlook on functioning in our space!!
Toni –
This book showed me just how much better I am doing life than I ever realized. Sometimes it’s better than other days and that’s okay. Doing things in a way that serve me and not always worrying about what everyone else thinks is the key.
B.Paige.F –
If hearing that how well you keep house is morally neutral makes you cry this may be a good fit for you. (Clean house or dirty house doesn’t make you a good or bad person)My husband caught me crying after reading the sentence “chores are morally neutral”… That was a huge revelation for me… It named that which so much of my struggles were founded on… For him, it was as if I said “the sky is blue”. This book is not for him. Read the sample and you will know if this will be helpful or not.This book feels like it is helping me drop the shame I have around chores (care tasks)… And by dropping the shame I am able to do more since less of my day is being spent on mental gymnastics.The book is short. The chapters are short. I strongly suggest reading the sample. If the sample speaks to you, then this book can help. If it doesn’t then the rest of the book won’t.
Jan Duncan –
It helped me get a different perspective about “caring for myself.” Put guilt aside and do what you can without shaming myself.
Tara Bronx –
Great book and easy to read. I had borrowed it from the library, but liked it so much, I bought my own copy. I wanted to reread it, highlight parts that resonated with me, and lend to family and friends. Not just for ADHDrs! So many of us are overwhelmed with “guilt” clutter that we can’t seem to part with out of shame. “Good” stuff is passed down by well-meaning family members, but they’re really passing on guilt. Yes, it’s hard to donate or throw away things that cost a “lot” of money, but if they’re not useful to you, they’re taking up space that could be useful to you. You deserve your space!If you see something that’s dirty or cluttered, take a moment to take care of it. Dirty top shelf in the fridge making you nuts? Clean it. No, you don’t have to clean the entire fridge! Don’t let shame of not being able to do the “entire job” perfectly stop you from cleaning that shelf that annoys you every time you look in the fridge. Stop letting shame prevent you from doing a little something. You might end up doing the whole job if you at least start. As the author says, any job worth doing is worth doing half-@$$ed. Good luck!
Charles Parisi –
I read this for a book club and I don’t believe I would have ever picked it out for myself- after all, I do a pretty good job of keeping house. Boy did this book let me in on some very interesting aspects of myself, why I might be so stringent about keeping house and why I should be more gentle with myself and my family members when it comes to chore time. It gave incredible insight into what others may or may not be going through and how that affects their organization and care tasks. I found the lessons easy to apply not only to housework, but my full time day job, parenting, volunteering efforts, personal relationships…literally, all aspects of my life. Cannot recommend this enough!
Amazon Customer –
I don’t usually find “self-help” books, well, helpful. But this one is different! It’s title says it all. It is actually helpful advice, and being neurodivergent (ADHD) and struggling with other mental health issues, the advice was actually doable.HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
Brianna B –
Loved both the content and writing style. Written, for once, by someone who understands what it’s like to be disabled and trying to live a good life.
Tara Bronx –
Great book and easy to read. I had borrowed it from the library, but liked it so much, I bought my own copy. I wanted to reread it, highlight parts that resonated with me, and lend to family and friends. Not just for ADHDrs! So many of us are overwhelmed with “guilt” clutter that we can’t seem to part with out of shame. “Good” stuff is passed down by well-meaning family members, but they’re really passing on guilt. Yes, it’s hard to donate or throw away things that cost a “lot” of money, but if they’re not useful to you, they’re taking up space that could be useful to you. You deserve your space!If you see something that’s dirty or cluttered, take a moment to take care of it. Dirty top shelf in the fridge making you nuts? Clean it. No, you don’t have to clean the entire fridge! Don’t let shame of not being able to do the “entire job” perfectly stop you from cleaning that shelf that annoys you every time you look in the fridge. Stop letting shame prevent you from doing a little something. You might end up doing the whole job if you at least start. As the author says, any job worth doing is worth doing half-@$$ed. Good luck!
I have several food allergies that prohibit me from eating most meats and anything with gluten. These protein drinks are my go to breakfast these days. –
I can so relate to the author. I read the library copy and then bought my own so I can make notes.
Heidi –
As a working mom (hate that term but it’s there) I have seriously struggled with keeping our house operationally running as well as making time for fun and “self care”. This book tapped into outdated ideas I had regarding a “clean” house. Now, I help the “future me” quite a bit the night before and my mornings have been infinitely better! Thank you, KC!
Amazon Customer –
Get. This. Book! I have always struggled to keep my house clean. With 2 kids and a husband as a 3rd it’s a never ending battle and eventually gets the best of me. This year we added in a baby and some postpartum anxiety. Not to mention a messy house is my top trigger. It takes 1 day for my house to get messy, go 2 and it’s a disaster that overwhelms and paralyzes me. Then the guilt and shame kick in. It was a never ending cycle. I’ve tried so many cleaning routines and watched all the YouTube videos, I’ve made chore charts and zone charts. It works fine as long as I keep it up every single day but as soon as life gets hectic, as life always does, my house would go back to disaster again and there I was struggling and screaming at my family. This book is exactly what I needed for those moments. A simple guide to walk me through those times instead of just being so overwhelmed I couldn’t do anything. Encouragement and love, and to know I can rest without my house being perfect. I can’t say enough good things about this book. It has already changed my life and I will be keeping it near by to reread as needed.
Robin’s nest –
I really enjoyed reading this quick read that was full of validations for me. It’s ok if I can’t, don’t choose to or won’t finish ALL the cleaning that may or may not have to be done. The way I clean works for me and I am learning not to feel guilty if I don’t get it all done in one day. Thank you for this.
hulachick –
I love love love this book! It’s short (thin), easy to read, and the author seems to be talking to me, rather than at me or about the person I could be if I only had time and no personal barriers (as seems to be the problem with so many other self-help books and online programs). Ms. Davis acknowledges that we all have different parts of our lives that can be barriers. ADHD, depression, fatigue, anxiety and more. If you are a single parent with one or more children, or you work multiple jobs to make ends meet, or you have the seemingly perfect marriage, or you are able to or not able to leave your job at work, or you are in survival mode daily, or you just look at your space and feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, or your head is filled with other thoughts from other people about how your home and space “should be”, this book can work for you. Ms. Davis reminds the reader to focus on thinking about making spaces functional. They don’t have to be sterile or even organized to the standards of what we often think they should be. Our spaces need to be functional for the people who live in them. For example, if it’s easier to leave clothes on the back of a chair than to put them folded neatly in a drawer and that’s functional to you, then do this. She also repeatedly reminds her reader about care tasks being “morally neutral”. This helps us remove the shame we too often feel. One final note to consider when deciding if this book might be for you, is that unlike with books and programs that exist online and in print, “how to keep house while drowning” is NOT a program. It’s, as Ms. Davis says, “a philosophy”. It’s a new way of thinking and changing one’s mindset. I originally listened to the audiobook and borrowed the book from the library. I decided I needed to buy my own copy. This is the book that makes sense to me. (Ms. Davis has a great TED talk video online about laundry that provides an idea of what you can learn on the book.
audaciouslyfat –
…and struggle with cleaning, organizing, etc, READ THIS NOW.I feel so much more able to keep house now. It’s not a system you have to rigidly follow. She gives you a way to reframe you’re thinking about the tasks you have to do to take care of yourself.Incredible book.
S Kirkland –
KC Davis has put housekeeping on a whole new playing field! Her unique approach to mundane tasks puts a new light on an age-old situation! Her recurring theme is be good to yourself!!I enjoyed reading this book! She’s the real deal with a message to people like me who struggle with keeping a spotless versus functional house! This book may not be for those of you who love to clean and have Martha Stewart as a role model! It is an awesome book of ideas and suggestions to reframe our outlook on functioning in our space!!
Meredith –
The bite size chapters make the information easy to digest. The author walks you through simple, doable life hacks to help you build momentum and confidence to tackle the household chores that can feel overwhelming and make you feel like a failure. But you’re not a failure… the theme that care tasks are morally neutral is woven throughout the book.I downloaded the kindle version on a morning when I was feeling overwhelmed with chores that come with raising two little kiddos, based on the recommendation from a friend. I half-joked to my husband that *this* was the book that would help get my life together. And I was so excited to find this quick little read really did a lot for my perspective on maintaining my home.I chose to read this book while we were out running errands and I wanted to screenshot the whole book and share with a friend.10/10 recommend to every mom who wants to feel like you have your stuff together because of the mind-shifts that help lighten the mental burden and build momentum for the change you crave.
Dan –
I feel like every human I have ever met struggles with some aspect of housekeeping whether it’s dishes, laundry, or organization. This book was recommended numerous times across numerous social media platforms, so I decided to check it out for myself. The number one thing I love about this book is that it makes cleaning/caring for yourself a choose your own adventure where YOU can focus on what’s important to YOU and isn’t a one size fits all approach to life. Thank you, KC Davis!
Tina M. Horn –
I highlighted a lot in this book and expect I will re-read it regularly. I also plan to ask Spouse to read it so we can have a shared vocabulary to discuss shifting the way we think about our spaces.
Amazon Customer –
This was such a great book. It gives such helpful advice on how to set your life/home up for joy and your own definition of success. Less stress and guilt, more joy.
Anna –
I have a 15 month old, and this book helped me tremendously. It is a quick and easy read. Could not recommend it enough to other new parents struggling to stay afloat with the day to day.
Emily –
I have followed KC on tiktok since she went viral for her division of labor videos. I love her, I love her content, I love her vibe. On top of that, she is a therapist and has actual relevant experience and genuinely a reliable voice to listen to on these topics.She is helping re-write the messages stuck in my head that things need to be perfect, or I’m failing if the laundry is piling up, or putting myself down for having a messy house. She shows that cleaning is not just one simple task – “clean” – Its a million tiny tasks, and for some people its harder to tackle than others and its ok.She encourages you to find what works for YOU to make YOUR house function for YOU. Not adhering to aesthetic trends or what we think we “should” be doing with our homes. She gives you permission to do things half-assed because its better than not doing it at all. This book was a little therapy session.I plan on giving it to my husband so he can get a better understanding of how MY brain works when it comes to “keeping house”And I’m recommending it to all my friends struggling with all the same things.KC you are a beautiful sentient ball of stardust, thank you so much for sharing your message. You are especially saving neurodivergent stay-at-home moms. You are changing the status quo and changing lives. Thank you!
Becky –
I’m so glad I bought this book. I feel seen and understood and have gained a lot of insight and some new skills and methods for maintaining my home. Most of all I’ve got a new perspective for just letting it be as long as it’s functioning for my needs.
Amazon Customer –
The most impactful message here is that most things we feel guilty or shameful about, such as an untidy house, are in fact morally neutral.I spent decades trying to make myself a “better” housekeeper and clutter reducer and only succeeded in making myself resentful and rebellious. Even before I got halfway into this book, I began feeling differently about many things, and was amazed to find myself seeing progress in my battle with housework. I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever been embarrassed to have people in your home, or felt like a loser for not having a living room that looks like a magazine cover. Also, the chapters are short and the author identifies chapters you can skip if, for instance, you don’t have kids. I’m grateful for this book.
Brianna B –
Loved both the content and writing style. Written, for once, by someone who understands what it’s like to be disabled and trying to live a good life.
Sarah Smith –
This book made me feel seen. I’ve been struggling for so long and I thought it was just me. But obviously there’s a lot more people like me. Not everything in this book resonated with me but a lot did. And I was able to pick up a few things to try to get myself treading water again.
Amazon Customer –
I love the content of this book. Other reviewers have hit the nail on the head in their reviews so I won’t go on (but yay for the five things tidying method and differentiating between motivation and task initiation). The thing I wanted to say otherwise is that the print is very small. I get how a small book might be less intimidating to some people. To me though that small print is impossible to read with my bad eyes. I had to listen to the audiobook which is great because KC Davis reads it herself. That’s definitely an accommodation for those of us who can’t read small print but I’d prefer a large print copy. I like to read and write in books that I want to remember. It’s much harder to save specific information from an audiobook.
hwatts –
I read through this book in one sitting, in about an hour and a half or so. It was therapeutic in that it made me feel like less of a failure for not keeping a tidy house. It also made me feel much less alone because there’s a book about it! My only critique is that it’s priced a little high for being such a small book.
knc_reads –
I cannot put into words how much this book means to me.I really can’t. It included everything I needed to hear in a way that was empathetic while also providing realistic suggestions to take action. The content was loving, safe and accessible and @strugglecare was aware of her privileges and knew where they had expertise and where they did not.
Kathryn H. –
My daughter recommended that I read this book. So I check it out from our library, after reading it I bought a copy because it was super helpful. I have add and so does my daughter, keeping house has been an extreme struggle and has been mixed with feelings of constant failure and self recriminations. The author gives viable solutions in a kind and supportive way. I have felt so much more successful and heard after reading her book. My mental health has been improving and my house has actually been cleaner! Both my daughter and I would highly recommend this book. The author also has a podcast that is very good!
Rodney S. Morris –
Honestly and truly, this may be one the most important books written in this century, especially for parents and neurotypicals. We desperately need to learn to be kinder to ourselves, because unless we learn to be kind to ourselves we will never to be kind to each other. I am certain I will be reading this more than once, and recommending it to everyone I know, and not just for cleaning tips
Ugly Rose –
A friend recommended this for me and I’m glad I got it. It definitely made me feel better about myself and gave great insights!
Blaire Laumer –
KC’s book and social media content have been life changing for me. She is helping me reframe how I view and interact with what used to be called “chores”, “work”, and “hygiene”. Her voice was the first one who ever told me I am not lazy and intentionally failing at adulting. I reference her every day while talking to family and friends. She has taken the shame and paralysis out of the equation, and replaced it with compassionate care, real helpful tips in manageably-sized pieces, and the amazing balance of hand holding while being empowering…no condescension.Regarding this book specifically, it is fantastic for people with ADHD, depression, or anyone overwhelmed. It’s very short, but not lacking in information. She just cuts out the extra fluff and gets to the point. The chapters are only 1-2 pages long, and extremely manageable. It’s practical advice in a compassionate voice, from someone who understands and truly cares. You don’t even know how much you need this book. It’s so inexpensive, give it a shot. And follow her on tiktok @domesticblisters.I swear im not being paid, or asked to promote this in any way. I don’t know her personally, and I only discovered her a few months ago. But i believe strongly in her mission.
FairySockmother –
I truly enjoyed this book! I have struggled with housekeeping my entire life. I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to keep up with standards of my friends’ homes. This book breaks housekeeping into basic steps and eliminates the guilt!! I’m ready to try a new approach!
Sara Fauth –
Loved this book. It’s funny, kind, and thoughtfully written, and has so much good advice for how to keep your mental and physical health prioritized while taking care of your space that I was constantly highlighting and reading tidbits aloud to my roommate.
Milo LopezMilo Lopez –
I just got this book today and I’m about a quarter into it and I feel the difference in this compared to other self help advice books. I struggle with ADHD and OCD and while many might think OCD would make me a clean freak it does not. Instead it just burdens me with immense shame and guilt that make completing tasks like basic cleaning very difficult. This book is very good in how it’s written to make it easy for neurodivergent minds to understand. Simple phrasing and even using of sans font, bold for the most important parts, and small sections that get to the point which I really appreciate since it’s very hard with ADHD to keep my attention and understand what is being said otherwise. This book is not a strict guide on how you should clean, instead it’s more about how you can rethink cleaning and manage what you can when you can. So often do self help guides neglect those of us who are struggling the most but this one doesn’t. If you’re looking for a guide for how to have an immaculate and “perfect” home this isn’t it. This is for those of us who are genuinely struggling with the things that come easy to others. The principals in this book can be broadened to other parts of our lives and discovering what we actually need versus what others say we should be achieving. I am very thankful for all the understanding and kindness in this book.
Megan Hays –
Easy to read and easy to apply to everyday!She was spot on with almost every situation and she was really relatable.
Annie –
I’ve never felt so seen by an author. I started following KC on TikTok months ago, and finally downloaded her book. I’m not exaggerating when I say I finished it in 2 hours! This book is for anyone who wants to be gentler with themselves and destigmatize cleaning. Absolutely amazing book!!!!
anony –
As an OT and a human, highly recommend!Great tips for all seasons of life and helpful ways to reframe
Sarah Olson –
Her tips were helpful, but her principles were very affirming and relieving. I have been in the trenches as an overwhelmed, undersupported mom of littles, and this book has helped me look back at myself then with so much more grace and care.
K –
The book is definitely worth the read. The author recommends easy actionable steps to take if the entire process is too much at one time, focusing on what truly NEEDS to be done to have a healthy home.
K. Krueger –
If you have always struggled with staying motivated to do maintenance tasks, like me, this is the book for you.So much freedom from guilt and truly practical advice for those with ADHD, struggling through periods of overwhelm and stress, and us generally messy types.How to set priorities.How to be okay with doing a little instead of it all.Doing it your way is better than “not” doing it the right way.A whole new perspective on changing your self talk.The only affirmation you need: “It’s okay to be human.”Highly recommend!
Amazon Customer –
Short chapters, easy to follow advice.
Kate –
Thank you for writing this book and making it so easy to read. I struggle to finish books but I read this in two sittings. Chapter 27 speaks to me on a deeply personal level.
Jade Mellen –
I have read a lot of self-help and organizational books and attempted many systems with only partial success. As someone who is neurodivergent, it is difficult to keep house for so many reasons. This book approaches caring for yourself and your home with kind and realistic expectations. KC Takes into account that some days will be harder than others and insists on creating different systems of care for different times. She encourages using support systems and prioritizing rest. I found this from watching her TikTok series and loved her approach. I have already recommended this to many of my friends and loved ones. The Book is also structured for various styles of reading with clear explanations for metaphors.
SMG –
I don’t write reviews but this book is so important. I have no words other than gratitude to KC Davis for writing this book. Her willingness to share gives a new and better perspective on the difficulties I was facing along with real solutions to get through this. I am not sure how I ended up where I am today and that includes this book in my reading list but for once, I am thankful for an algorithm. It is exactly what I needed. Even if you are not struggling, this is a must read (she makes skimming easy) for the understanding and empathy you could gain for others.
hulachick –
I love love love this book! It’s short (thin), easy to read, and the author seems to be talking to me, rather than at me or about the person I could be if I only had time and no personal barriers (as seems to be the problem with so many other self-help books and online programs). Ms. Davis acknowledges that we all have different parts of our lives that can be barriers. ADHD, depression, fatigue, anxiety and more. If you are a single parent with one or more children, or you work multiple jobs to make ends meet, or you have the seemingly perfect marriage, or you are able to or not able to leave your job at work, or you are in survival mode daily, or you just look at your space and feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, or your head is filled with other thoughts from other people about how your home and space “should be”, this book can work for you. Ms. Davis reminds the reader to focus on thinking about making spaces functional. They don’t have to be sterile or even organized to the standards of what we often think they should be. Our spaces need to be functional for the people who live in them. For example, if it’s easier to leave clothes on the back of a chair than to put them folded neatly in a drawer and that’s functional to you, then do this. She also repeatedly reminds her reader about care tasks being “morally neutral”. This helps us remove the shame we too often feel. One final note to consider when deciding if this book might be for you, is that unlike with books and programs that exist online and in print, “how to keep house while drowning” is NOT a program. It’s, as Ms. Davis says, “a philosophy”. It’s a new way of thinking and changing one’s mindset. I originally listened to the audiobook and borrowed the book from the library. I decided I needed to buy my own copy. This is the book that makes sense to me. (Ms. Davis has a great TED talk video online about laundry that provides an idea of what you can learn on the book.
AC – 8675309 –
Even if cleaning is the least of your worries, the author’s struggle with post partum depression, and spirals of shame due to not taking care of themselves and their space speaks very deeply. I recommend this book to LITERALLY ANYONE.
Rebecca –
I want to say “life changing” but that might sound over-dramatic. But as a busy mom of a 2 year old and an infant this was the “self help” book I needed. Support, new ways of thinking about the voices in your head, and actual practical tips.
Not Cordelia –
but it took the same experience as the author (post partum depression during COVID lockdowns with an infant and no competent spousal assistance) to get me halfway there.There is so much of value here, in such an easily digestible format, that I find myself recommending it all the damn time. Finding words (and validation) for the conclusions I’d been coming to but felt too lazy and guilty to own has been far more life-changing than you’d think. There’s a huge difference between shame-facedly paring down your daily tasks until you can bare to face them but stop mopping the floor every day in the process, and accepting that skipping the mopping stage is actually fine and you do not need to feel the shame associated with no longer aiming for perfection when you can’t remember the last time you combed your hair.Functional is fine. Perfection in all things is unnecessary and not compatible with the average person’s life.