How to Keep House While Drowning: 31 days of compassionate help

The book is definitely worth the read. The author recommends easy actionable steps to take if the entire process is too much at one time, focusing on what truly NEEDS to be done to have a healthy home.

I came across this book from KC Davis’ TikTok and podcast. From the very beginning when it mentions how she has written the book to be more inclusive (including shortcuts, providing literal translations of analogies, etc.)… I have never fell in love with a book so quickly. This has become my 15-min decompression read when switch from work (I work from home) to being mom/wife/homemaker. I have implemented so many of her suggestions and all of a sudden my house has been tidy, organized, and I’m HAPPY TO DO THE HOUSEWORK which I never was before. My mind has now totally shifted from SHAME to GRACE and that is the best thing. I am not kidding when I say this book has changed my life. I cannot recommend it enough. If you’re not sure, listen to some of her podcase episodes (StruggleCare) and see if you like her vibe, but I’m sure you will! Just buy it. Do it.

I read through this book in one sitting, in about an hour and a half or so. It was therapeutic in that it made me feel like less of a failure for not keeping a tidy house. It also made me feel much less alone because there’s a book about it! My only critique is that it’s priced a little high for being such a small book.

I have followed KC on tiktok since she went viral for her division of labor videos. I love her, I love her content, I love her vibe. On top of that, she is a therapist and has actual relevant experience and genuinely a reliable voice to listen to on these topics.She is helping re-write the messages stuck in my head that things need to be perfect, or I’m failing if the laundry is piling up, or putting myself down for having a messy house. She shows that cleaning is not just one simple task – “clean” – Its a million tiny tasks, and for some people its harder to tackle than others and its ok.She encourages you to find what works for YOU to make YOUR house function for YOU. Not adhering to aesthetic trends or what we think we “should” be doing with our homes. She gives you permission to do things half-assed because its better than not doing it at all. This book was a little therapy session.I plan on giving it to my husband so he can get a better understanding of how MY brain works when it comes to “keeping house”And I’m recommending it to all my friends struggling with all the same things.KC you are a beautiful sentient ball of stardust, thank you so much for sharing your message. You are especially saving neurodivergent stay-at-home moms. You are changing the status quo and changing lives. Thank you!

Thank you for writing this book and making it so easy to read. I struggle to finish books but I read this in two sittings. Chapter 27 speaks to me on a deeply personal level.

I just finished How To Keep House While Drowning. I feel like im ok at keeping house but i felt validated after reading it. I love that she changes the language on chores.

This book is a game-changer. I no longer feel like a prisoner to my home and the never-ending, miles long to-do list of chores that never seem to get done. I no longer find my worth in being able to keep my home showroom ready. I accept it as it is, I make my home work and be functional for me, and my family and I live comfortably in it. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, ADHD, physical disability, or any other condition that affects your ability to clean, organize, and otherwise maintain the everyday working order/routine of your home, please buy this book. You’ve probably suffered long enough with trying to do it all yourself (with sometimes promising, sometimes disastrous results). No need to beat yourself up anymore. This book will give you real, incredibly helpful advice, much-needed compassions, and insight into what’s going wrong and how to fix it. You won’t regret getting it!

This is like half practical manual, half encouragement to do just what you need to do to take care of yourself while letting go of the guilt and shame of what others tell you you should do to be a functional adult. I found it super helpful.

A friend recommended this for me and I’m glad I got it. It definitely made me feel better about myself and gave great insights!

KC’s book and social media content have been life changing for me. She is helping me reframe how I view and interact with what used to be called “chores”, “work”, and “hygiene”. Her voice was the first one who ever told me I am not lazy and intentionally failing at adulting. I reference her every day while talking to family and friends. She has taken the shame and paralysis out of the equation, and replaced it with compassionate care, real helpful tips in manageably-sized pieces, and the amazing balance of hand holding while being empowering…no condescension.Regarding this book specifically, it is fantastic for people with ADHD, depression, or anyone overwhelmed. It’s very short, but not lacking in information. She just cuts out the extra fluff and gets to the point. The chapters are only 1-2 pages long, and extremely manageable. It’s practical advice in a compassionate voice, from someone who understands and truly cares. You don’t even know how much you need this book. It’s so inexpensive, give it a shot. And follow her on tiktok @domesticblisters.I swear im not being paid, or asked to promote this in any way. I don’t know her personally, and I only discovered her a few months ago. But i believe strongly in her mission.

Everyone, AND I MEAN EVERYONE, should read this book. I can’t begin to tell you how “heard” I felt while reading. Not one time have I gotten through a “self-help” book, whereas this guide was too good to put down. There are too many words and not enough space when it comes to recommending this book. Just read it, you’ll see what I mean.

I don’t write reviews but this book is so important. I have no words other than gratitude to KC Davis for writing this book. Her willingness to share gives a new and better perspective on the difficulties I was facing along with real solutions to get through this. I am not sure how I ended up where I am today and that includes this book in my reading list but for once, I am thankful for an algorithm. It is exactly what I needed. Even if you are not struggling, this is a must read (she makes skimming easy) for the understanding and empathy you could gain for others.

Loved both the content and writing style. Written, for once, by someone who understands what it’s like to be disabled and trying to live a good life.

if you have adhd and find it difficult to keep things clean, this book is for you. Very well written and thought provoking. helped me tremendously

I cried so much reading this book. The permission and compassion it doles out is invaluable. I’m living with type 1 diabetes, PTSD, and ADHD, so I’ve often struggled with “keeping up” with my day to day. I cannot describe to you the RELIEF I felt realizing that it was OK for me to buy some compostable plates to eat off of if dishes send me into a miserable spiral. It’s beautifully written for people with a neurodivergent brain, and I really enjoyed it.

I truly enjoyed this book! I have struggled with housekeeping my entire life. I felt guilty that I wasn’t able to keep up with standards of my friends’ homes. This book breaks housekeeping into basic steps and eliminates the guilt!! I’m ready to try a new approach!

I read this for a book club and I don’t believe I would have ever picked it out for myself- after all, I do a pretty good job of keeping house. Boy did this book let me in on some very interesting aspects of myself, why I might be so stringent about keeping house and why I should be more gentle with myself and my family members when it comes to chore time. It gave incredible insight into what others may or may not be going through and how that affects their organization and care tasks. I found the lessons easy to apply not only to housework, but my full time day job, parenting, volunteering efforts, personal relationships…literally, all aspects of my life. Cannot recommend this enough!

I highlighted a lot in this book and expect I will re-read it regularly. I also plan to ask Spouse to read it so we can have a shared vocabulary to discuss shifting the way we think about our spaces.

It helped me get a different perspective about “caring for myself.” Put guilt aside and do what you can without shaming myself.

I cannot put into words how much this book means to me.I really can’t. It included everything I needed to hear in a way that was empathetic while also providing realistic suggestions to take action. The content was loving, safe and accessible and @strugglecare was aware of her privileges and knew where they had expertise and where they did not.

I have a 15 month old, and this book helped me tremendously. It is a quick and easy read. Could not recommend it enough to other new parents struggling to stay afloat with the day to day.

The most impactful message here is that most things we feel guilty or shameful about, such as an untidy house, are in fact morally neutral.I spent decades trying to make myself a “better” housekeeper and clutter reducer and only succeeded in making myself resentful and rebellious. Even before I got halfway into this book, I began feeling differently about many things, and was amazed to find myself seeing progress in my battle with housework. I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever been embarrassed to have people in your home, or felt like a loser for not having a living room that looks like a magazine cover. Also, the chapters are short and the author identifies chapters you can skip if, for instance, you don’t have kids. I’m grateful for this book.

Honestly and truly, this may be one the most important books written in this century, especially for parents and neurotypicals. We desperately need to learn to be kinder to ourselves, because unless we learn to be kind to ourselves we will never to be kind to each other. I am certain I will be reading this more than once, and recommending it to everyone I know, and not just for cleaning tips

I highlighted a lot in this book and expect I will re-read it regularly. I also plan to ask Spouse to read it so we can have a shared vocabulary to discuss shifting the way we think about our spaces.

Taking the morality out of cleaning feels so WRONG and freeing and I am so ready to do it. Laundry is morally neutral. My living room isn’t spotless but it is functional. I am allowed to be human. My husband and I are allowed to rest. One of the things that I loved about this book was that it was set up with short chapters and bolded phrases, which made my anxious brain so happy. It was way easier for me to read than the average nonfiction book. I highly recommend this to literally my entire immediate family. We need to give ourselves more grace.

I feel like every human I have ever met struggles with some aspect of housekeeping whether it’s dishes, laundry, or organization. This book was recommended numerous times across numerous social media platforms, so I decided to check it out for myself. The number one thing I love about this book is that it makes cleaning/caring for yourself a choose your own adventure where YOU can focus on what’s important to YOU and isn’t a one size fits all approach to life. Thank you, KC Davis!

This book is an eye opener, it gives new perspective to the idea of caring for our home, it frees you up it gives you wisdom and permission to enjoy your home.

Perfect gentle book that absolutely changed my life. Anyone who is neurodivergent should read this.

I read this in one day, and I think I might read it again tomorrow and maybe even the day after. It’s definitely something I’ll be referring to time after time. KC shares such different perspectives to what we “should be” doing, and instead encourages compassion and care for ourselves and our homes. I loved everything about this book. Yes, it’s about keeping house, but it’s also so much more. The lessons in this book not only apply to housework but extend to self-love and self-talk and more. This was a powerful read for me. If I could give this more stars, I would. I truly wish Davis had more books because I long to absorb more of her words.

I want to say “life changing” but that might sound over-dramatic. But as a busy mom of a 2 year old and an infant this was the “self help” book I needed. Support, new ways of thinking about the voices in your head, and actual practical tips.

I needed this book in my life. After the loss of my older sister, the pandemic, another significant loss of our grandmother all within 18 months I felt like I couldn’t handle anything, I couldn’t keep up with laundry dishes, cooking, anything, my recycling piled up to the point it filled our porch, I was literally drowning. I have two boys, 2 and 6 . when schools closed it was like everything in my life fell apart. My six year old son has nonverbal autism and without school and services even he was in an absolute tailspin and I just didn’t have the mental energy to fill that for him when I was struggling with basics. I wish I’d found this book last March, it’s really helping me to view tasks differently and realize that even before I was cleaning my house out of anxiety and fear of being viewed as a failure. I never allowed myself to relax so when I couldn’t keep up with how I used to handle care tasks it really made me hate myself, I feel like a failure as a mom, or as a person but this book along with her tik toks have helped me to shift the way I view myself and these things. I love how she says “care tasks are morally neutral.” They are functional. It seems so simple but it was a light bulb moment for me to just shift my perspective! I’m still struggling, and will still forget but I have to stop trying for total perfectionism or total self hatred when I don’t meet the expectation u place on myself but perfection is not real life and not having everything perfect doesn’t mean I am a failure or that anyone is a failure. We all need some grace for ourselves, especially when dealing with grief, mental health, isolation and just life in general right now. Get this book! It’s not overwhelming at all, it’s easy to digest and practical. Thank ou to the author I could cry how much this is helping me!

This book is brilliant, brief, and no nonsense. It is a kind letter from a gentle person speaking directly into your mind to counter all those voices telling you what cleaning “should be like” and giving you permission to let go of the teachings of the past that only harm us now. Instead, it is time to start care tasks and stop cleaning. It is time to watch how we phrase what we are doing and focus on what actually works and supports us.KC Davis writes all the things I tell my clients in therapy all the time. Now, I can save my clients time and money by handing them this book (it’s on my therapist bookshelf now). KC, from a fellow therapist, well done!!!

This is actually the second copy of this book that I’ve bought because I loaned the first copy out but then immediately missed it & so bought another copy.I cannot express how much this book has changed my view on house work. I was not prepared for the emotional unpacking that would come with reading it or with how much it was going to help me heal a lot of my negative self-talk. I don’t know if I ever really understood the concept of “compassion” before reading this book & had allowed me to not only treat myself with more love & compassion, but then to also treat others with the same kind of love & compassion. I’ve also gained a newfound understanding of what KC describes as “care tasks” & how to stop bullying myself when I feel as though I’m “failing” when I am struggling to keep up.A huge thank you to KC Davis for writing this to share with the world!

I love the suggestions KC gives throughout this book. Super helpful and, most importantly, realistic and achievable for a mum with busy, untidy kids!! It’s written for a neurodivergent audience but is useful for anyone who finds balancing work, home, and kids (if you have them) really overwhelming and feels like a failure for not being able to do what other people seem to manage easily (or do they??)

The Five Things cleaning method, golden.I’ve been going through a lot of stuff, and a coach I really trust recommended this book after reading. I normally give only passing attention to self-help content, look for one tip to take with me and move on. Because this person has helped me in the last few months with relevant and respectful suggestions that have really “fit” for me and made a difference in my day to day quality of life, I’m interested in anything that’s influencing their thinking. So I got a copy. I skim-read it in one night, like I usually do with this genre, and saw one or two tips that seemed good, a couple things I was like “yeah, I know that one,”, ok, cool, move on..However … It’s been sinking in more as it continues to sit by my bedside and I find myself re-reading here and there the exceptionally short, to-the-point little chapters, and I’m finding more and more that because it’s so concise (not always true in this genre) sometimes just a single sentence takes root in my mind and ends up coming to me at a time I can use it. I even modified one of the ideas in it to help deal with an anxiety attack about work, and it was truly helpful.I just really like that it’s really down to earth about the fact that for some of us, there is an actual deficit of time or energy that we’ll always be dealing with. While poverty is still impossible to fight with a self-help book, she addresses other kinds of deficits in a real way.Issues it relates to for me: fatigue, sleep disorder, ADHD, certain trauma symptoms, (the elusive “depression” that all those things are frequently mischaracterized as) and a lifetime of chronic overwhelment. A lot of what she says is connecting meaningfully with other things that have been happening in my mind and heart and self-image over the last couple of years.I also think that the underlying philosophy would be very compatible with any addiction recovery program, whether spiritual or nonspiritual. It has no spiritual content of its own, but there’s this one statement about your value as a human being that I gotta admit, has shaken me. In a good way. It was quiet, it snuck up on me, but it ended up going above and beyond what I expected.

I’ve never felt so seen by an author. I started following KC on TikTok months ago, and finally downloaded her book. I’m not exaggerating when I say I finished it in 2 hours! This book is for anyone who wants to be gentler with themselves and destigmatize cleaning. Absolutely amazing book!!!!

I can so relate to the author. I read the library copy and then bought my own so I can make notes.

This book presents a new way to approach care tasks in a way that is kind to yourself. Some helpful tips to help implement the new mindset and be successful. Ended slightly abruptly, but this is mean to be a quick easy guide, not a thesis.

This book is a wonderful guide not just for keeping your living spaces organized, but also for how to live your imperfect life with grace and joy. It is geared toward folks with depression and ADD, but I think anyone without cleaning staff would appreciate the support given here!

The bite size chapters make the information easy to digest. The author walks you through simple, doable life hacks to help you build momentum and confidence to tackle the household chores that can feel overwhelming and make you feel like a failure. But you’re not a failure… the theme that care tasks are morally neutral is woven throughout the book.I downloaded the kindle version on a morning when I was feeling overwhelmed with chores that come with raising two little kiddos, based on the recommendation from a friend. I half-joked to my husband that *this* was the book that would help get my life together. And I was so excited to find this quick little read really did a lot for my perspective on maintaining my home.I chose to read this book while we were out running errands and I wanted to screenshot the whole book and share with a friend.10/10 recommend to every mom who wants to feel like you have your stuff together because of the mind-shifts that help lighten the mental burden and build momentum for the change you crave.

I just got this book today and I’m about a quarter into it and I feel the difference in this compared to other self help advice books. I struggle with ADHD and OCD and while many might think OCD would make me a clean freak it does not. Instead it just burdens me with immense shame and guilt that make completing tasks like basic cleaning very difficult. This book is very good in how it’s written to make it easy for neurodivergent minds to understand. Simple phrasing and even using of sans font, bold for the most important parts, and small sections that get to the point which I really appreciate since it’s very hard with ADHD to keep my attention and understand what is being said otherwise. This book is not a strict guide on how you should clean, instead it’s more about how you can rethink cleaning and manage what you can when you can. So often do self help guides neglect those of us who are struggling the most but this one doesn’t. If you’re looking for a guide for how to have an immaculate and “perfect” home this isn’t it. This is for those of us who are genuinely struggling with the things that come easy to others. The principals in this book can be broadened to other parts of our lives and discovering what we actually need versus what others say we should be achieving. I am very thankful for all the understanding and kindness in this book.

Cleaning can be overwhelming when you’ve got a mind that doesn’t stop. This book really broke down the process and made it feel more manageable.

For anyone who’s ever had to stay afloat while their lives are a 10 alarm dumpster fire

I love the content of this book. Other reviewers have hit the nail on the head in their reviews so I won’t go on (but yay for the five things tidying method and differentiating between motivation and task initiation). The thing I wanted to say otherwise is that the print is very small. I get how a small book might be less intimidating to some people. To me though that small print is impossible to read with my bad eyes. I had to listen to the audiobook which is great because KC Davis reads it herself. That’s definitely an accommodation for those of us who can’t read small print but I’d prefer a large print copy. I like to read and write in books that I want to remember. It’s much harder to save specific information from an audiobook.

I love love love this book! It’s short (thin), easy to read, and the author seems to be talking to me, rather than at me or about the person I could be if I only had time and no personal barriers (as seems to be the problem with so many other self-help books and online programs). Ms. Davis acknowledges that we all have different parts of our lives that can be barriers. ADHD, depression, fatigue, anxiety and more. If you are a single parent with one or more children, or you work multiple jobs to make ends meet, or you have the seemingly perfect marriage, or you are able to or not able to leave your job at work, or you are in survival mode daily, or you just look at your space and feel overwhelmed and don’t know where to start, or your head is filled with other thoughts from other people about how your home and space “should be”, this book can work for you. Ms. Davis reminds the reader to focus on thinking about making spaces functional. They don’t have to be sterile or even organized to the standards of what we often think they should be. Our spaces need to be functional for the people who live in them. For example, if it’s easier to leave clothes on the back of a chair than to put them folded neatly in a drawer and that’s functional to you, then do this. She also repeatedly reminds her reader about care tasks being “morally neutral”. This helps us remove the shame we too often feel. One final note to consider when deciding if this book might be for you, is that unlike with books and programs that exist online and in print, “how to keep house while drowning” is NOT a program. It’s, as Ms. Davis says, “a philosophy”. It’s a new way of thinking and changing one’s mindset. I originally listened to the audiobook and borrowed the book from the library. I decided I needed to buy my own copy. This is the book that makes sense to me. (Ms. Davis has a great TED talk video online about laundry that provides an idea of what you can learn on the book.

Reading this book made me feel seen. I’ve just always felt that I can’t keep up with everything. I could relate to how so many of my habits came from shame, and how to untangle some of that.Additionally, reading this book helps me appreciate myself and what I can do. I might not accomplish tasks the same way as others, but it’s not about how we get stuff done.I really liked the sections that talked about the Health/Safety : Comfort : Happiness framework. I’ve personally struggled with understanding why I attend to certain things or tasks, and am unable to prioritize what matters to my partner. Now we’re able to talk about what we can do to meet everyone needs as mush as possible.I’m glad I got the hardcover, so I can use it kind of like a reference book, and reread sections. This book is a keeper!

This book showed me just how much better I am doing life than I ever realized. Sometimes it’s better than other days and that’s okay. Doing things in a way that serve me and not always worrying about what everyone else thinks is the key.

As a working mom (hate that term but it’s there) I have seriously struggled with keeping our house operationally running as well as making time for fun and “self care”. This book tapped into outdated ideas I had regarding a “clean” house. Now, I help the “future me” quite a bit the night before and my mornings have been infinitely better! Thank you, KC!

If you’re not following her TikTok, you’re missing out.This book saved me, period. That may sound dramatic, but so were the effects of my ADHD on my self-worth and mental health.

I have always had a challenging relationship with housework. I read lots of books, including Maire Kondo’s, and while I may have taken some ideas from them all, I still came away from them feeling bad about myself. I couldn’t implement everything and so I felt bad. This book helped me understand why I struggled so much and also had practical tips. If you want to improve your space but struggle to do so for whatever reason, I highly recommend this book.