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A negotiation is a conversation in three parts: Goals, Roles and Procedures. Your intent is to facilitate behavioral change, and you should have a clear idea of the specific behaviors you would like the other person to modify. But you should always begin by stating your positive goals for the conversation, so that there will be less chance for your partner to misconstrue your agenda. You may think you know the reason for the disruptive behavior of the other person, but you should never rely on your own perceptions – let that individual speak for themselves. Ask what is the goal behind the problem behavior. You may find that the two of you have different ideas of your respective roles; you may have to clarify how your roles will be defined in the future. At the very end of the conversation, you must clearly define the behavior you would like to see changed, and you must get a verbal agreement from the other person to make that change going forward.
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