Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More

Beautifully written book chronicling Janets amazing journey in finding herself mad being a woman. Touching memoir that will be so helpful to people transitioning and their family and friends.

This story can stand alone and will inform this generation, and next. Janet speaks to her personal story in a way that has global applicability. Through her word pictures, she takes the reader through her journey of poverty, while openly acknowledging the areas where she has experienced the benefits of privilege. There are many relationships in this book that speak to me but the one that stands out is her relationship with her brother Chad. It is universal. She beautifully describes their relationship to one another as well as with their parents. She discusses adolescence in a way that makes one smile, reflect and even smirk at times. Janet is willing to dive into the intricacies of intimacy within friendship, as she discusses growing up with her friend Wendy and the development of trust between them, as experienced over eye brow tweezing and shared hormones.Janet allows the reader to be at once in the moment, while at the same time speaking to adult reflection and perspective as she discusses her mother’s love looked different at different times in her life.I could go on about why this book is excellent, and why I would recommend it to any and everyone. This is a love story. This is a book about social justice. This book is about education access and the power that education can have to transform lives. Yes this book touches on physical transformation but to deduce it to simply as story about a transgender woman of color would be an injustice.This is a memoir that will stand the test of time.A story of triumph and a willingness to live fully.Redefining Realness is about self-determination.

There are books that have made their way into my life that immediately become one of my favorites. This is, fortunately, one of those books. Once a book reaches that status in my heart, it becomes something that I can’t stop talking about. That has happened here. Ask my loved ones and friends! Part of the process for me, is that this book made me feel good. It made me feel smart and it made me feel connected, like part of something larger than me and in feeling all of that, I want to share it with people I love. So I tell them, so they can feel smart and good and like part of something too. This review is my way of shouting BUY THIS BOOK. Buy it for yourself, for your friends and family, for your local library. If you are a person, a lover of books, an activists/advocates for social justice and a general knowledge seeker; if you desire to know more about the lives lived by trans people, those courageous and generous enough to share their stories with us, buy this book, today!!!

So many of our experiences were so very different, but all through this book I felt blinded by piercing shards of shared experience as a trans woman. This book will be food for thought of future generations of trans women, and I hope also will move forward the discussion of issues facing trans people in society. (Society’s earnest desire to avoid having this discussion notwithstanding.)I wish Ms. Mock the best of luck being everything she aspires to become in the future, and look forward to her future work.

I don’t think I’ve read an autobiography so well written. Educational to audiences of all sorts. She truly is a woman of the people, and I thank her for sharing such an inspiring telling of her life’s journey! I wish to meet her one day…maybe even share the stage with her in support of her ministry and my ministry (helping marginalized, forgotten populations they are still loved by God).

It’s hard to look at so much of how I think and feel reflected in one book. Especially when I’m used to misrepresentation at best when I do see transpeople portrayed by the media. Her stark and unapologetic prose provide a fresh example of what it means to be Trans in the current Zeitgeist. From my generation.Thank you Janet Mock.

Great memoir, and quick read

This book was so moving and real. I cried at so many points and appreciated the powerful discourse that Janet Mock embodied.

Janet Mock weaves her personal history and the political landscape of trans livelihood in a way that is relatable and deeply intellectual in her powerful memoir. While you read, you hear her voice, feel her vulnerability and can’t help but see yourself in her struggle – the universal struggle – of becoming the person you know you are meant to be. I read her words and felt hope, disappointment, pain, elation, dread and so many other emotions because you want her to succeed in LIFE & LOVE. Her resilience makes you stronger; it made me braver and a believer in one’s self determination. Read this book!

Very enlightening story, so glad that I read this book. I highly recommend!

An excellent book. I have recommended friends read Mock’s story to become more informed about the journey of trans individuals as they grow in their identities and make it through the world – sometimes thriving, sometimes just surviving. While Mock’s story is only one trans narrative, she is a solid writer who seems to invite those unfamiliar with trans experiences to learn more, to see beyond talking points and bobbing heads, and to connect with the very human journey of finding and celebrating self. Mock does an excellent job of incorporating information about the trans community within her personal story, creating a good blend of global and personal, leaving the reader more aware of not only Mock’s personal story but also the situation for many trans individuals throughout the world. A great read.

So refreshing to see an author put the struggle of a trans woman in a real light. She didn’t sugar coat the dark side to achieving goals or the struggles with family and abusers. You feel like your friends by the end of your read. I read the book in two days! It’s a book for someone going through or gone through the experience, family struggling to understand, or the lay public wanting a better understanding of gender struggles and bias. Props to Janet Mock for keeping it real and opening up her life for the world to see. Stay blessed mighty woman of God!

Janet Mock speaks with a candid & straightforward intimacy. While the conversational tone took some getting used to at first, I wound up loving this book as much for its emotional eloquence as I did for its refusal to shy away from any part of her past. This book not only captures the story of a courageous young trans person’s pursuit of a denied & distrusted identity, it is a remarkable insight into the inner life of someone who insists on visibly being her most authentic self.She takes time to explain the language of the transgendered for the uninitiated reader, terms that are unfamiliar to many.While trans-identified women are denied ‘womanhood’ by conservative Christians & radical feminists alike, Janet decisively claims her inner identity as she learns to articulate herself to herself, and we get to see the way she gets there. A must read for all of us who know that we just don’t find ourselves within our inherited & prescribed norms, for anyone looking for the courage to be their best authentic self.One of the most emotionally powerful books I have ever read!

An amazing memoir. Janet Mock does a fantastic job of fleshing out the nuances within experiences around identity and being trans in particular. It is also very accessible for folks who may not be familiar with academic and social justice buzzwords. A good quick read that is sure to enlighten one be it in terms of gender identity, racial identity, family or forgiveness.

I read Janet’s first book after reading her second “Surpassing Certainty,” and though they are both worth reading, “redefining realness” was more raw and personal. Can’t recommend it enough. Anyone could relate to her journey in some way and marvel at her strength. You don’t come across a book like this everyday

This book redefines the ‘coming of age’ genre. Janet Mock’s ‘coming of identity’ is engaging, moving, frank, and educational. Her story speaks to the experience of many trans women, particularly those who struggle afford surgery to affirm their gender identity. Sharing her story took immense courage and takes the reader far deeper than the usual media sensationalisation of before and after. Janet takes back the power of her story and, though she plays down her strength and her experiences as one pathway among many, I expect her book will inspire many trans individuals and cis individuals who support the rights and the realness of trans identities.

I am a big supporter of Janet Mock’s work to bring awareness to Trans issues especially the lives of Trans people of color. Janet Mock’s bio is truly inspirational. Her courage and determination to live her truth inspite of social, economic, and racial barriers is remarkable. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book.

I’m Proud to say I’m from Hawaii Oahu where this remarkable young woman grew up as wellreading Janet’s story was amazing and life lessons learned as well. If you Know someone who feels or questions one’s gender this book is a good read. It just might help them understand who they are.

Janet has written one of the most honest, open, and impactful memoirs I’ve ever read. It’s an important book for everyone to read. If you know nothing about the transgender community or what it means to be a trans person, she covers many of the basics regarding terminology, statistics, and experiences. If you know most of these things, read it for how moving it is. Even as a cis woman (meaning my gender identity mainly conforms to the female gender I was assigned at birth), her journey to womanhood was relatable, meaningful, and thought provoking. I can only imagine it is more so for trans identified women. Hands down one of the best books I’ve read in a while.

My love for Janet as an amazing trans advocate aside, this book was gorgeous. I sat down this morning to read it, got about 75% of the way through by 3, picked it back up at about 7, and just finished it. Excepting life’s obligations, I simply could not put it down. Janet’s beautiful vulnerability (and at times brutal honesty,) paired with her highly visual and emotional storytelling makes for a wonderful literary journey. I laughed, I cried, I was captured. As a non binary trans person, reading a story of a woman coming into her own, not in a magical ~poof~ but in pieces, the struggles and successes, and the eventual peace and self love, is not only inspirational but deeply life affirming and important. Thank you, Janet, for sharing yourself with us, for giving hope and possibility to your readers, and making sure trans people are heard. Reading this book was a gift.

I am a white cis het man. On the surface, you would think that I would have nothing in common with Janet. But she is so honest and poignant that she strikes those common chords of identity and self determination that all us feel. Throughout the book, even when she’s talking about her life as a ‘boy’, she makes it easy to understand that she was always a girl, and, later, a woman.

I absolutely love this book, for as a male in the military I consider myself wildly diverse and open, and after reading this book I can say with absolute certainty that I’m am now more open and knowledgeable, but most of all more caring and loving to all gender differences,despite not personally dealing with any of the things I read in the book. I have learned to love myself more and care less about others options of me. I recommend all open minded and caring people to open there heart to this wonderful read. Be blessed by Monk!

While I’m not trans in any way shape or form I can relate to Janet Mock’s story as an individual. As a someone who has something to say & has had a long journey getting to where I am today, I can relate. I relate to the struggles of dealing with society, not having enough, not feeling truly loved as you may assume you deserve it & so fourth. Beyond that this book helps those out there that may have a rough time identifying who they are or may even be sure of it at in early age. This is a book written out of courage & honesty for people like me and you who wants to simply understand. We live amongst OTHER in our lives. Some people are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, queer & other. We have to learn how to appreciate each other instead of always trying to find a way to break each other down. Without getting off topic I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to learn how to be supportive or those in need of it. Let this book be of some guidance.

In social justice, I think an emerging goal is to further embrace the individual narrative in its purest sense, its sanctity and value as a compliment and necessary other to greater minority community narratives and identities. While it defines that person and not everyone else, it can shed light on the community in fundamentally new and authentic way, and thus serve a vital function, and most of all, comes wrapped up in a a personal, deeply affecting package that those who aren’t part of that minority/privileged folks can take and learn from more so than other narratives.Read this to dive into the life of a woman who knows that more lies beyond herself and will educate you, but never tries to be more than herself, and embraces that that self is wonderful, holds value, and deserves nurturing in the face of adversity. Trans folk, womyn, POC, and straight white cis men can all learn something from the Life and Words of Janet Mock.

I Janet Mock today at my college, TCNJ. She is beautiful, listens, validates. She questions the assumptions of what we as individuals and as a society, view as real. Gender is a social construction but it is necessary to understand that personal feelings, emotions and identity are not erased within this construct. There are real people involved within the trans community, within the queer and cis communities. We all define realness in the various contexts in which we understand. Janet Mock has helped me understand this, as well as the intersections of gender with race, sex, class, etc. Her memoir teaches all people struggling with identity about the beauty of thier personal journey. We must embrace our differences, and wrap ourselves warmly with them. Janet Mock encourages us to love ourselves.

Janet Mock came out publicly in a 2011 Marie Claire article. Now she’s back, telling her story again—her way. Mock’s New York Times Bestseller, Redefining Realness: My Path to Womanhood, Identity, Love & So Much More, is a fascinating look at a myriad of topics including gender and gender identity, sex and sexuality, and self-revelation through the lens of a trans woman. Janet Mock has been hailed as the “token” trans woman. She’s educated, articulate, and breathtakingly beautiful. She’s the kind of trans woman that makes straight folks comfortable, but she is quick to point out that her experience is not the reality for many trans persons. Redefining Realness not only sheds light on Mock’s fascinating journey to womanhood, but also the plight of trans women, particularly trans women of color.As a cisgender gay male, I thought Mock’s story would be foreign to me. I couldn’t have been more wrong. In fact, there were remarkable similarities. We both experienced policing of our physical appearance at a very early age. We both were estranged from our mothers, yet held tight that she’d come and rescue us. We both had no expectation of our fathers, yet held our mothers to unattainable standards we created in our own minds. Beyond how the book personally resonated with me, Redefining Realness is masterfully written prose that will speak to anyone looking to gain insight on the trans experience, or simply live in their own truth. I applaud Mock for sharing her personal narrative at the risk of judgment and ridicule. As she says, “There’s nothing more powerful than truly being and loving yourself.”

As a politically aware trans lady who came out in the mid 2000s, this is the only trans memoir I’ve ever read that I never once wanted to throw across the room. Even though she’s talking about her personal experiences, there’s always a sharp political lens on it.If you’ve been in radical anti-racist/abolitionist trans spaces for over a decade, there’s probably not a lot *new* in the analysis, but if you haven’t there probably is–and regardless it’s all solid. OTOH for me there was something really healing in hearing her talk about personal experiences that often get left out of political discussions.Also: her narration is great.

“Redefining Realness” stirred up memories of my freshman year in college. During the spring semester, my English professor introduced the class to books by authors of subjects many of us had only heard of, but never even remotely experienced. Authors like E. Lynn Harris. His book “Just As I Am” sparked a fire in us that made us trample over other students hanging out in the quad, just to make it to the classroom in time to dissect the more than 380 pages of fictional sizzle. As we talked about the book and the issues it brought to the forefront, our discussions were filled with joy, anger, curiosity, and just a flat-out appreciation of Harris’ writing skills.This is how I felt while reading “Redefining Realness” – even before completing the first chapter. With my excitement level on “high”, I wanted to immediately hightail it to someone’s book club and talk about what I had just read!This book is awesome. Janet Mock takes readers on the journey of her life as a trans woman of color – a journey that was as foreign to me as a map of the streets of Djibouti City. I honestly did not realize that the lives of transgender people were that intense (especially poor trans people of color). Thanks to media portrayals of trans men and women over the years, I likened them to “drag queens” and reduced their lives to simply being “people who like to play dress-up.” To me, a person was either gay, lesbian, or straight. Nothing else. However, Mock’s experience, passion, rawness, statistics, and transparency, taught me that the world does not fit neatly into compartments.”Redefining Realness” evoked thought, compassion, and awareness – everything I expected based on the title of the book, as well as the publicity which has surrounded it over the last few months. I thoroughly enjoyed Mock’s storytelling (story within a story), particularly the imagery she used to tell her story. Much like her “shero” Zora Neale Hurston, Mock’s descriptive writing engaged all of the standard senses and more. I felt the winds and humidity of Oahu. I saw Charles, Sr.’s gold tooth with the Cowboys’ shout-out. I touched Keisha’s hair right along with Jamie. I heard conversations in Hawaiian pidgen on the streets as Janet and Wendi pooched. I tasted grandma’s gumbo while eavesdropping on family gossip. (The pop music references sprinkled throughout the book made it even more “real” for me because I remember where I was when all of those songs debuted!)On top of all of this, Mock made me laugh. Her quick wit provided a much-welcomed intermission from a stressful and, at times, unbelievable read. It was good to laugh to keep from crying. However, even in comedy, she managed to teach lessons. I’ll never confuse a “drag queen” for a trans woman again because I now know “a drag queen is part-time for showtime. A trans woman is all the time.” Love it!”Redefining Realness” is a masterpiece, not only because of the content, but because of Mock’s incredible writing skills. I appreciate her for using her unique story to inform, chastise, correct, and commend. That’s what real women do.I look forward to more work from Mock in any genre.

I strongly recommend this book to everyone because of its accessibility, its rich language/story & its heart. Janet is so relatable and the content of the book is both familiar and awe inspiring.

This book is the story of a young trans women growing up in America and should be required reading for EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET. She not only tells her incredible story, but explains many “complicated” gender topics that most people have to take a gender studies course to understand or be exposed to. She does not speak for all trans women of color and makes a point to SAY that over and over. She talks about sex work in a very real way, not a carceral or sex negative way, and she talks a lot about what it means to be trans and person of color in this country. Best read of my year so far for sure.

I really enjoyed this book. Some of her story was what I was already familiar with happening with members of the LGBTQ community from documented stories and friends. A lot was eye-opening where any individual’s life story was concerned (the craziness of her childhood outside of her identifying herself) and the rest was distinct to the particular journey she was on (that of a young trans woman) which really just fascinated me.In the book, she often mentions how lucky she had been to have specific people along the way. I have to agree. Despite the bad she did encounter, she had more support than I feel would have been afforded most. I hope it inspires more families/friends/teachers/medical professionals to expand their views and compassion for those they encounter on such a difficult journey.

Redefining Realness is a heartwarming autobiography that is beautifully writtenand takes readers into the private and intimate parts of the author’s life on her journey as a trans woman. The author’s transparency about her life and struggles brought an element of realness to her story further highlighting her courage in navigating through these challenging life events. I loved the themes of strength and perseverance laced throughout the story. The author’s unwillingness to give up in the face of adversity was inspiring, and her tenacity encourages individuals to keep fighting to be heard and to be their authentic selves. This book is educational and inspiring. Overall,Redefining Realness is a very engaging read and an amazing story that pulls on your emotions making it an unforgettable story.

Mock recounts how her past has influenced different aspects of her identity. This autobiography was insightful, inspiring, and reflected the experiences many trans people of color can relate to. Must read!!

Janet really did pour it all out, let it all bare in the wind. A memoir that is critical to not only the transgender movement but the movement of progression and love that our world desperately needs. Just as Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson and others have paved the way, Ms Mock will join the ranks of legendary trail blazers buy aiding in pushing the uncomfortable but necessary conversations. I strongly recommend that all read this book, which effortlessly provokes one to analyze our self, our identity and if we are really living an honest life. If you aren’t then what are you doing with your life?

I see myself, as a college educated, genderqueer (Trans) person, in this book. Looking to someday feel whole, as most people are. I realize self discovery is a journey and we are all on that road. Reading this book as given me the encouragement to endure, to silence the negative voices, and define myself for myself.

This book is so well written. I could not put it down thank you Janet fot sharing your life with the world.God bless you for being so honest and open. We need more books like yours and we really need the society to wake up and realize that transgender people are not going away.I don’t ever give up on who you are.God bless you!

Janet’s story is one of the most inspiring,heart-breaking and interesting books you must read in your life time. As a homosexual male, I feel grateful,confident and unapologetic of being the irreplaceable myself.

This author has an incredible story to tell that offers tremendous insight into the heart and soul of someone not all of us may know or understand. After finishing this book you will be inspired to continue to learn more about those with different experiences who follow different paths than our own.

Excellent book. Was used for a class but I am glad I read it. the author has a natural way of explaining some of the transitions and personal struggles transgenders go through. Very good read. Have even given it to a relative to read.

This books is a true intersectional godsend. Janet Mock is a vulnerable and beautiful woman and author and this book opened my eyes to so many aspects of her experience. Would highly recommend to anyone. A must have.

Ms. Mock handles her subject with the same wit, grace and dignity with which she has lived her life. She fairly and unapologetically deals with the world as she sees it. Reading this book I came away with a great deal of respect for this young woman’s spirit. Her grit, determination and intellect leap off the page. There is a young strength here that makes her much more than a sensationalist subject for the media grist mill. It is truly a coming of age tale for any young person struggling to find their place in the world in the face of overwhelming obstacles. There are lessons here for everyone and I recommend it to those not only interested in gender issues, but more importantly, human issues.Well done!

Amazing true story, beautiful, effortless writing. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!This autobiography follows Janet from her youth to her young adulthood, through hertransition and her coming of age. My book group read it and we all really enjoyed it.As someone who doesn’t have any close trans friends, this was a great insight intoone individual’s journey. She also gets into the different issues of being a person of color,and being a trans person who can “pass” for a cis female, and how trans people are judgedby how “pretty” they are and how much they fit into society’s idea of what a woman shouldlook like. Very educational and a pleasure to read.

I’ve been counting down the days until Janet Mock released her book. These words, this story, have made a profound impact on me and my life, and the direction I wish to go in as I move into the future! Redefining Realness is gracefully heartbreaking, courageous, and is so enthralling it only took me two days to read. It lies at the intersection of so many issues that are of critical importance to our generation. A must-read for whomever wishes/claims “activist” or “revolutionary” as a title.

Janet said, “‘Realness’ is the ability to be seen as heteronormative, to assimilate, to not be read as other or deviate from the norm. ‘Realness’ means you are extraordinary in your embodiment of what society deems normative.” Realness is normalcy. Society judges people based on “realness.” Your realness determines how society treats you and the opportunities you are given. Janet’s story is encouraging and inspiring for all of us – LGBTQIA, intersectional feminists, and anyone else who doesn’t identify with “normative.”And along the way, Janet educates us on the trans experience and issues. While marginalized groups have similar experiences, we do not have the same experiences. It is important for people who are not trans to learn about the trans experience so that we can be better allies.This book is well-written, thought-provoking, and education. A must read for all trans allies.

One of the best books I have read in a long time. It tells the truthful, honest, naked truth of a transwoman in America. You may think that her story is a struggle but Janet does a fantastic job in letting us know that even with her backstory, she is privileged. She is privileged to be “passable”, to be beautiful, to be considered cis. I absolutely will recommend this book to anyone!